That's My Baby
by kezztip
Summary: This is a JH story with a twist instead of the wedding and baby being the happy ending, it's going to be the rocky start. All of you who love to watch Jackie outzen Hyde will be on board with this one. FINAL CHAPTER NOW UP!
1. Chapter 1

A.N. **I have a new story to offer, set after Season 8. This story is going to have some of my favourite elements – pregnancy, a forced marriage and plenty of Jackie and Hyde heat. I hope you enjoy and let me know what I do right (and wrong).**

Chapter 1 - Prologue

_September 30, 1980, Chicago_

"We'd like to get married, please."

The judge's clerk looked up from her paperwork to confront the young couple volunteering for a lifetime of connubial bliss. Strangely enough, they did not look all that thrilled about the prospect. The bride looked particularly pissed off, as though her partner was signing her up for indentured servitude instead of marriage. _Although sometimes there's not that much difference, _Marian the clerk thought. Perhaps her obvious lack of enthusiasm for marriage explained why she was dressed in a casual black pants suit, an unusual fashion choice for a bride.

"Certainly, the judge will be able to see you in just a few minutes. If you'd like to complete these forms then we can… oh my, aren't you Jackie Burkhart?" Marian moved her ample form from around the desk to take the hand of the pretty brunette. "You are, of course you are! Well, this is an honour. I have to tell you, Miss Burkhart, that my Lucy watches your show every morning. She will just be over the moon when I tell her that I have met you in person."

The bride-to-be smoothed the scowl from her lovely features to smile graciously on the motherly fan. "Thank you. It is always a pleasure to hear about the joy I bring to children."

"Could I trouble you for an autograph? I'm sure you must be pestered for them all the time, but it would really mean a lot to my little girl."

"Of course," Jackie replied, reaching into her handbag. "I just happen to have a publicity photo with me."

"There's a surprise," her fiancé muttered. Pausing only to shoot a glare at her betrothed, she pulled out a marker and wrote an effusive message to the unknown Lucy on the photo. Just as she was signing her name with a sweeping flourish, the intercom buzzed on the clerk's desk.

After speaking briefly into the intercom, Marian stated "The judge will see you now. Do you have anybody with you to witness your marriage?"

"NO!" Jackie blurted. "No one can know about this. We don't want any witnesses."

"That's right," her fiancé added sarcastically. "This is a drive-by wedding."

"Well, you have to have a witness to make it legal," Marian said a little nervously, again wondering at the angry vibe between the engaged couple. "How about I stand in for you? One autograph for another, so to speak."

So that was how it came to be that Marian Patterson found herself witnessing one of the strangest marriages on record. If the young man had a foreign accent, she might have taken it for one of those green card arrangements but he seemed to be of pure American stock and not unappealing, with those well developed biceps, the slightly broadened chest tapering into a nice flat stomach and slim hips; Mrs Patterson started to feel a little flushed as her mind wandered to what uses she would find for the brooding bridegroom if she were in Jackie Burkhart's place.

"Now, Miss Burkhart, if you'd just repeat after me – I guess that's the last time anybody will be calling you by that name now, won't it?" The elderly judge smiled broadly as though he didn't make that same joke five times a day. He was somewhat thrown when the bride did not blush and giggle as expected but just looked impatient, as though her schedule was filled with much more important things than something as trivial as a wedding. He cleared his throat and began,

"I, Jaclyn Beulah Burkhart,"

She turned furious eyes on her fiancé. "You wrote down my middle name?"

"Jackie, just say the freaking vows," he hissed back. Levelling another evil eye at the young man the judge was feeling more sorry for by the second, the young woman said,

"I, Jaclyn Burkhart,"

The judge wisely glossed over the shortening of her name. "Take thee, Steven James Hyde,"

"Take thee, Steven James Hyde…"

As she recited the standard vows, she managed to make them sound more like death threats than holy promises. Her husband parroted back his vows with all the feeling of a school kid reciting the pledge of allegiance for the thousandth time. What's more, he had not once taken off his aviator sunglasses throughout the entire ceremony. _Perhaps that's why his young lady seems so aggravated_, the judge thought. Ah, but he would need to take them off for the final part of the ceremony. There was not a young man out there who would give up his chance to kiss this lovely creature, no matter how "cool" he wished to appear.

Just as he predicted, Steven Hyde plucked the glasses off his face as soon as the judge said the fateful words "You may now kiss the bride." The judge and his clerk looked on a little apprehensively, as though afraid the angry sparks flying between the young couple might set the office alight. Certainly the bride was looking less than receptive as her new husband put his arms around her; to be exact, her eyes had that "Don't you dare" look, a look familiar to experienced husbands everywhere. A wise man would have backed away to a safe distance. Or at the very least, worn a cup. This young fool merely smirked, held her face between his two hands and kissed her long and hard, slanting his mouth with bold possession over those pouting lips.

CRACK! The judge winced at the sharp slap that rang through the office as the new Mrs Hyde hauled back and served her husband a powerhouse right, sending his head turning a full 90 degrees.

"Don't you EVER do that again!" she shouted furiously as he rubbed his cheek in pain. She turned her wrath on the judge and his clerk, making them startle backwards. "Where's the damn marriage certificate?" The judge motioned a nervous finger towards the piece of paper on his desk. Jackie scrawled her name in the bride section, her intent obviously being speed rather than a pleasing calligraphy. She thrust the pen at her husband. "Here, sign the stupid thing. Now – stay the HELL out of my life!"

As the three occupants of the judge's chamber watched as the door slammed violently behind her, the judge and his clerk turned amazed eyes on the man who had just shackled himself to a fire-breathing headcase.

"Er… you did want me to marry you two, didn't you?" the judge asked tentatively. "I mean, you didn't come here for a divorce instead and… mixed the two up?"

"No," the curly-haired groom replied with a wry smile, "I really did want to marry her."

"I don't wish to intrude but it didn't seem like the feeling was exactly mutual."

"She'll come around," Mr Hyde said. He tossed a brief thanks to the civil servants and then followed after his charming bride.

"Oh dear," Mrs Patterson sighed. "She seems so… different on television."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**A.N. Firstly, thank you so much for the overwhelming positive response to the first chapter – I don't think I've ever had so many reviews to a single chapter. Now I'm taking you back 3 months to the beginning of the events that will lead to that explosive wedding. **

_June 12, 1980, Point Place_

"Fez, what do you think you're doing?" Hyde demanded as his foreign friend charged into the basement and reached for the television channel dial. "Don't change the station – we're watching The A-team."

"Yeah," Eric agreed. "I pity the fool that changes that channel."

"Man, who was that supposed to be?" Kelso asked.

"What do you mean? My Mr T impression is dead on!"

"Only if you were doing an impression of Mr T doing an impression of Eric Foreman," Donna said around a mouthful of cheetos. Donna and Eric were visiting for the weekend from college, a frequent occurrence due to Kitty's superlative cooking skills and Donna's lack thereof. Kelso also liked to motor in from Chicago for the occasional weekend, so the gang was almost at full complement on this Saturday morning. All except for one.

"You do not understand, my American friends. Jackie told me I must watch her show today because she has an exciting announcement to make."

"Yeah, sure. Jackie's idea of an exciting announcement is that platform heels are out and flats are in. Although working that headline into a show for preschoolers will be a challenge for her," Eric said.

"I'm still blown away that Jackie has her own show, just like she always wanted," Donna reflected. "Hard to believe that just last year she was sweeping hair in Fez's salon. Now look at her – host of what is fast becoming Wisconsin's leading kid's show."

"Ah, I know," Fez said sadly. "Me, I miss the old desperate Jackie. The one whose self-esteem was so demolished by Hyde that she actually wanted to be my girlfriend."

"Oh, was she ever your girlfriend, Fez?" Hyde said. "I must have blinked and missed it."

"They were the best three days of my life and none of you sons of bitches can take them away from me," Fez declared. "And if Jackie hadn't caught me spying on Eric and Donna having make-up sex on New Years day, there is no telling where we would be right now."

"My guess would be at your trial for her attempted murder," Eric jibed. "No way could someone live with that chatterbox and not be tempted to smother her with a pillow. How did you ever deal with it, Hyde?"

"I had ways of making her – not talk." Hyde said with a quiet smile. In truth, when he and Jackie had been alone together they had usually found better uses for their mouths than talking. Although, looking back, he kind of wished they had talked about certain things more.

"You know, Fez, go ahead and put Jackie's show on," Kelso said suddenly. "That way all the gang will kind of be together in the basement again – just like the old days."

"Yes, it is the only way that will ever happen again, isn't it, _Hyde_," Fez said accusingly.

"Will you quit laying that guilt trip on me." Hyde's good mood evaporated at Fez's innuendo. "It's Jackie's choice that she won't come to the basement anymore. I had nothing to do with it."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, Hyde," Donna contributed. "When she and Fez told us they'd broken up, you were pretty damn merciless with your burns."

"Yeah," Eric said. "I mean, I love a good Jackie burn better than most but that crack you made about how she wasn't even woman enough to hold onto a guy who will sleep with any woman regardless of age, shape or species – well, even I winced at that one."

"This is such crap," Hyde said angrily. As the sing-song theme tune to "Happy Hour" floated through the television speaker, his eyes involuntarily strayed to the figure of a smiling Jackie in an orange pinafore-style dress holding a giant sunflower and waving happily at the camera. The cheerful sight only increased his frustration so that he launched himself out of his chair and started pacing the basement. "Jackie and I had been broken up for 5 months before that happened," Hyde reminded. "And in all that time she wouldn't leave. I marry a stripper, she's still here. I say mean things to her on a daily basis, and she's still here. Fez, Kelso and even Donna slobber all over my brainless ditz of a wife, completely ignoring her, and she's STILL here. But then, when things are finally settling down, when Sam is gone and she's come to her senses that Fez is no prince charming, THAT'S when she finally takes a freakin' HINT and leaves!" Suddenly Hyde realised all his friends were staring at him in amazement. "What?"

"Oh my God!" Donna cried. "That's why you were so awful to her! That's why you stayed with Sam! You were trying to drive her away!"

"What? No. I never cared about her one way or the other," Hyde scoffed, sinking back into his chair.

"Hyde, you haven't seen her in person for 6 months and still just the sight of her dancing with a giant purple teddy bear – " Donna gestured toward the screen where Jackie was indeed jitterbugging with a man in a bear suit – "- makes you go into one of your melt-down rants. Face it, zenmaster, she is still under your skin."

"I always said she was like a tick," Hyde growled. But his eyes were captivated by the television again as Jackie picked up a guitar. She gently stroked some chords from the guitar and sang a song which celebrated the cleverness of having ten fingers and ten toes. It took him back to a time long ago when she had been hanging out in his bedroom.

_Show me how to play the guitar, Steven. How do you make a B chord?_

Her hands were small, she had trouble reaching all the strings.

_Well then, what if I sit on your lap… like so and you put your fingers on the strings I can't reach… that's right. Now we can make beautiful music together._

He had gotten pretty sappy with her that day. But she had always been able to talk him into anything, luring him one step further away from his "cool" zone; or comfort zone; when it came down to it, it was all the same thing. Then one day he found himself in a place he had no business being, flying without a safety net. That was when she shot him down out of the sky, back in that Chicago hotel room.

"You guys should be thanking me," Hyde said, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. "If I am the reason she left, then I did you all a public service. None of you wanted her around. You were always telling her to get lost."

"C'mon, Hyde, it's not like we ever really meant it," Eric replied. "That was just our thing with Jackie. Like the way you guys kid me about being a geek, and we rag on Kelso for being stupid; Fez is a perv, Donna's a tomboy and Jackie's annoying. But we don't really mean anything by it."

"It is not the basement without her," Fez sighed.

"Well, at least you still have contact with her," Donna griped at Fez. "The last time Jackie got together with me I had to make an appointment with her – and then it was only half an hour for a cappuccino and some small talk and she was out of there. She didn't even gossip about how slutty the other girls in the café were. Some best friend!"

"Oh, is she your best friend again?" Hyde snarked. "What, now that my pseudo-wife is out of the picture you just expected to gloss over how you dumped Jackie for her worst enemy and you two would be hunky-dory again? Dream on, Donna!"

"I didn't dump Jackie," Donna objected hotly. "I was just trying to stay neutral in that whole mess YOU created. By being both Sam and Jackie's friend, I wasn't taking a side."

"Donna, you may be at the top of your journalism classes at Madison," Fez said, "but when it comes to being a good girlfriend, I have to tell you that even the Stupid Helmet is too good for you."

"You should listen to Fez," Kelso said earnestly. "He knows a lot about being a good girlfriend to Jackie."

"Thank you, amigo."

"Hey guys, clam up," Eric broke in before Donna could throw something at Fez. "I think Jackie is gearing up for her big announcement. Turn the volume up, Fez."

"…but before I return to the land of the pixies, there is something I need to share with all of you boys and girls out there," Jackie said importantly as she looped her hand through the arm of an unconvincing giant purple teddy bear. "I am afraid next Friday will be the last show for Bernie the Bear and me hear at Wisconsin's WKX. But not to worry because "Happy Hour" is not ending, it has just found a new home – in Chicago! So make sure you get mommy and daddy to ask Mr Cable Guy to pay a visit so we can keep playing together thanks to a magical thing we grown-ups call syndication!" Bouncing excitedly, Jackie waved goodbye as the credits rolled over her beaming face.

"Wow," Kelso breathed. "Jackie's moving to Chicago for a fantastic career opportunity in television. OK, who else is feeling freaked out by the déjà vu?"

"Tell me about it," Fez agreed. "Any minute now I'm expecting Eric to leave for Africa."

"Oh no, not that again," Eric said, hand gestures in full force. "They had insects so big the only thing you could use against them was a machete."

"Hyde? Hyde! Are you OK?" Donna asked as she observed her friend's frozen face.

"It's happening again," Hyde murmured to himself. "She's leaving me again."

"Leaving you? Hyde, you guys have been broken up for almost a year."

"But I always thought… I mean, we live in the same town, we have the same friends. I figured sooner or later we'd get past it all and…"

"Go back to how it used to be?" Kelso shook his head. "I remember when I used to think that way. Took me a long time before I could accept it was really over, that I'd never get another chance."

"No! It's not the same! It was different for me and Jackie," Hyde cried. "It went deeper. All this stuff that's happened between us, that's on the surface. But underneath it all, we're still like… connected."

"What are you saying, Hyde? You think you can get her back?" Kelso said with astonishment. He looked at Fez and the two of them burst out laughing. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"Shut up!" Hyde was incensed, especially when Eric and Donna joined in the laughter. "You morons think you know everything – you don't even know the real reason why Jackie suddenly latched onto Fez the way she did." His mind flash backed to the day when he had to decide what to do about Sam's extra husband. That day had marked the first real confrontation that he and Jackie had shared since their break up. The memory of the outcome of that meeting sent a chill through him and it reminded him that these days Jackie did not follow her heart. She no longer trusted that unreliable organ.

Now every decision Jackie made, she had to see the percentage in it. It hurt him that he was the cause of this change. Part of the reason why he had tried to drive her away was because he thought if she was not around him she would have a chance to heal and go back to the carefree Jackie he used to know, the one whose biggest problem was matching her shoes to her handbag. Yet from the tales his friends brought back about his ex, that was not the case. These days Jackie had distanced herself from all of them, especially Donna. Fez and Kelso still had a special place in her heart, but even they complained that she was more focused on advancing her career than sharing in burns or finding a new boyfriend. Not that he really wanted that to happen, but it would at least be a sign that Jackie was returning back to her old self.

"This isn't working," he said, mainly to himself. "She's not better off without me and I'm… it's just not working."

"Hyde, give it up. Even if you wanted to make a pitch to Jackie, she wouldn't let you get anywhere near her," Donna discouraged. She was still miffed with Hyde for implying she had not been the best of friends to Jackie.

"She's right, Man. You're public enemy number one for Jackie. She won't even let us talk about you to her," Eric added. "And anyhow, if she's moving to Chicago, what kind of future would you have? Take it from me, long distance relationships are more trouble than they're worth." Donna looked at her boyfriend through slitted eyes before slapping him upside the head. "Ow! Sweetie, I wasn't talking about you and me! You know my heart stayed true all the time, no matter what I wrote. Lambchop? Love Muffin?" Donna continued with the slitty eyes. "Oh crap."

"You know, if Jackie is moving to Chicago, it seems to me she should have a going away party," Hyde meditated.

"She won't willingly come to any party you'll be at," Kelso objected.

"A _surprise_ going away party," Hyde finished. "Yes, that should do it."

"Oh man, this is going to be the best party ever," Fez grinned. "It is all too rare for me to see Hyde go down in flames."

"I'll bring the marshmallows and we'll roast them over him as he _burns_," Kelso said gleefully.

"You know, I think Hyde does have a shot," Eric said. "I mean him and Jackie were pretty intense when they were together. Plus Jackie does have a track record of taking back undeserving boyfriends."

"Twenty bucks says she kicks him to the kerb," Kelso challenged, extending a hand to Eric.

"Done!" Eric agreed, slapping his hand against Kelso's.

"Quit it, morons. This is serious. I swear, Kelso, if you do anything to mess this up for me, it will take more than one punch to say what I need this time. In fact, I reckon my fists will be getting real chatty – all over your face."

And with that final threat, Hyde went into his bedroom. As he leaned against his bedroom door, he exhaled a deep breath. He was finally going to listen to that annoying voice inside his head that had been on his case for the past 11 months. This time he would tell her all the things he should have said before. This time he would ask her to stay.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A.N.Thanks for the kindly reviews – you guys are great! Forgot to say on Chapter 1 that I don't own the characters or the show, yada yada. I bet the people responsible for Season 8 wish they could say that.**

"Alright everybody, that's a wrap," the director called out.

Jackie gladly handed over the Labrador puppy she was holding to a stagehand. "Just in time – this little guy was starting to get heavy."

"Oh yes, let us all feel sorry for Jackie who has to bear the weight of a 5 pound puppy." Jackie rolled her eyes at the familiar monotone of her co-star. "Meanwhile, I have just danced a sailor's hornpipe in a 50 pound bear hide! Do you know how much ventilation this thing has? None, that's how much!" The oversized teddy bear removed its own head to reveal the sweat-streaked face of a young man whose patrician features hinted he was accustomed to better things.

"Cheer up, Bernie! We just finished our last show in Kenosha," Jackie reminded, trying to bring the depressed teddy bear to a more positive outlook. "Now we're heading for the big time."

"For the last time, Jackie, my name is Bernard! Ber-_nard_" he shot back. "And what solace is there in finishing up here when we are just carting the whole dog and pony show to Chicago? Do you think Mr Brewster will allow me to display the full range of my acting skills, crafted and polished from 5 years of study at Philadelphia's leading School of Arts? No! That philistine has no business owning a TV station when he cannot even recognise a true thespian."

Jackie regarded her colleague with a tolerant eye. She had become accustomed to the unappreciated Bernard's complaints, so accustomed she could now make the necessary soothing responses while reading her script for tomorrow's show. Yet in spite of his griping, she had a soft spot for the disgruntled teddy bear. Later, after she had changed into a dark red dress which fit her in all the right places, she joined the cast for the final wrap party and asked Bernard a question she had been meaning to ask since she had met him.

"Bernard, if you hate playing Bernie the Bear so much, why did you audition for the role in the first place?"

"Because, Jackie, the theatre is in my blood," Bernie replied snootily. "That and I had an insurance premium due. But if I had ever dreamed this stupid show would be a hit and I would be entrapped by irresistible contract offers to perpetuate this fuzzy purple travesty, I would have run screaming out of that cursed audition."

"You didn't think the show would succeed, Bernard?" Jake Cussons, the genial station manager for WKX joined Jackie and Bernard, holding out glasses of champagne. "I knew it would be a hit from the day Jackie walked into my office last January and insisted I build a show around her."

"C'mon now, Mr Cussons, as I recall it was more of a suggestion," Jackie said, taking a sip from her glass.

"Your exact words were 'Only a brain-dead cretin would choose not to build a show around me.'"

"Ah, but you did give me a show which proves you are the opposite of a brain-dead cretin – you see, I was complimenting your intelligence."

"I'm going to miss your unusual style of compliments, Jackie," Mr Cussons said. "In fact, I'm going to miss you period."

"Aww, I'm gonna miss you too, Mr Cussons," Jackie replied, bestowing a farewell hug on her kindly boss. "You took a chance on me and gave me the first break I'd had in a long time. I'll always be grateful to you for that." Jackie reflected what a funny thing life is. When she had scraped all her moxie together and brazened her way into Mr Cussons' office, she never thought he would star her in a children's show, or that she would come to enjoy entertaining small children so much. Now she couldn't imagine doing anything else. The primest talk show host job could not compare to the satisfaction she felt putting smiles on those innocent little faces.

"Now don't you let Conway Brewster boss you around, you got me?" Mr Cussons warned. "The man may run one of the top networks in Chicago but he has the ethics of a pay toilet."

"Meaning?"

"He doesn't give a crap for nothing."

"Don't you worry about Jackie Burkhart," she replied confidently. "My days of letting people push me around are over." As Mr Cussons walked away, Bernard turned to Jackie.

"Did anyone ever push you around?" he asked with one raised eyebrow. "I wonder at their daring, my formidable friend. I would have thought you as unmovable as an army tank."

"Not always," Jackie answered, gazing moodily into her glass. "There was a time when I'd get jerked around like a puppy on a leash. Then one day I realised that I'd never have control of my own life until I stopped depending on other people. Expecting things from other people." Jackie shook off her serious mood. "But never mind that! This is my last night in Wisconsin – you and I should go out tonight and shake our bootys!"

"Ugh! Not tonight. Tonight all I crave is to soak in a scented bubblebath until the stink of sweaty velveteen has been eradicated."

"Wet fur-blanket," Jackie muttered as she found herself alone. "Now who do I celebrate with?"

"How about the same sinfully handsome man whose snake-like moves have on more than one occasion made you the queen of the dance floor?"

"Fez!" Jackie greeted her old friend with a wide smile. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"How could I miss my goddess' last night in this humble town?" Fez replied as he hugged her.

"It depended on which route you took to get here," Jackie answered. "If you came along the main roads, I figured you'd turn up, but if you took the shortcut along Wilson Street where all the strip clubs are, then I didn't have high hopes."

"There are strip clubs on Wilson?" Fez asked eagerly. "That is… of course I would not miss your last night. Now come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"No questions, my sweet. All I can tell you is this will be a night you will never forget."

That was one promise that would be well delivered.

…………………………………………………………………..

"Why are we at the Foremans?" Jackie asked warily as Fez stopped the car. "Fez, you know I swore never to come back here."

"Jackie, it is your last night in your home town. Mrs Foreman asked me to bring you by so she could wish you luck in Chicago. You would not refuse the request of the woman who has been like a mother to you?" Fez turned melting eyes on Jackie, making her feel churlish for her reluctance.

"Alright, so long as it's just the Foremans."

"Of course. I already told you everybody else has gone to see 'Flying High'."

"Yes, well, a movie with a title like that, how could they resist?" Jackie was annoyed that she felt a little slighted that the gang were spending her last night watching a movie to which she had not been invited. Even though she had done her best to distance herself from the basement gang over the last few months, there was still a part of her that ached to belong in their circle. She told herself she would not have gone with them anyway as Hyde was sure to be one of their number, but she still felt the sting of not being asked.

Fez helped Jackie out of the car. "Let us say hello and goodbye to Mrs Foreman so we can then proceed to the boogie wonderland."

As they walked up the pathway Jackie noticed the darkened windows. "Fez, are you sure anyone is home? There's no lights – " Jackie's words were cut short when Fez threw open the front door and pushed Jackie through.

"Surprise!"

Jackie looked around her in amazement. They had organised a party for her. Not just any party – a surprise party! In all her years in the basement, they had never gone to so much trouble for her sake. The only thing that came close to a celebration in her honour was when they had pulled together that sorry excuse for a party at her high school graduation. Even though she knew the gathering had really been for Eric, she had pretended to accept their explanations. Now, when she had cut down her contact with them to a minimum, they made this amazing gesture.

"I can't believe this," she cried. "You went to all this trouble for me?"

"Of course we did, Jackie," Donna said as she hugged the smaller girl. "We're your friends. We wanted to send you off in style."

They all crowded around her, talking at once, laughing, rehashing old jokes. Jackie began to feel a long-forgotten warmth stir inside her as she smiled upon the familiar faces; Donna, Michael, the Foremans, Mr Pinciotti, Eric, Fez. She was relieved to see they had the good sense not to invite…

"Steven! Where have you been?" Mrs Foreman demanded as Steven Hyde walked through the front door with a slab of beer on his shoulder.

"Just picking up supplies," Hyde answered as his eyes zeroed in on Jackie's. "Hey, Jackie," he said softly.

"Steven," she replied levelly as the laughter drained from her face. She then turned her back on her ex-boyfriend and resumed her conversation.

"You guys had me fooled. I thought you were all going to see Flying High tonight."

"No, we saw it yesterday," Kelso replied. "It was really cool." Fez nudged him.

"Surely you can't be serious?" he said.

"I'm deadly serious. And don't call me Shirley." The two young men then broke into helpless laughter.

"Yeah," Eric drawled. "That's not gonna get old."

…………………………………………………………………..

Hyde had known overcoming Jackie's resentment would be an uphill endeavour. Still, knowing that Jackie would be cold to him and experiencing it were two different things. He braced himself with a couple of beers as he studied her from across the room, slowly working up the nerve to approach her. She was more beautiful than he remembered, but more something else as well. All her movements were graceful but economic; nothing was wasted. The tone of her voice was not as loud, her laughter was more restrained. It was as though the extravagance of her nature had been compressed and was now under Jackie's strict control.

As the night advanced he would make motions towards Jackie, but each time she gracefully moved away and started an intense conversation with somebody else, blocking him out. Finally Hyde decided he would have to employ hunter's tactics if he was going to make any progress. He waited until Fez, the most easily dominated of his friends, was alone with Jackie sitting in an alcove near the piano. With just a jerk of his head towards the kitchen, Hyde signalled Fez who obediently excused himself in search of candy, leaving the field open for Hyde to fill the gap which would prevent Jackie's escape.

"So, Chicago, hey?" Hyde opened as he approached Jackie. "History sure does repeat itself, right?"

Finding herself cornered, Jackie had no choice but to engage the enemy. She mentally steeled herself against whatever burns Hyde had stashed in his arsenal. No matter what, she would not let him hurt her. Never again.

"That it does," she answered. "Only this time I'm going to do things right."

"What do you mean? What did you do wrong the last time?" Hyde moved a fraction closer to Jackie; she inched a little further away. She was becoming unnerved by the intensity of his stare. She could only assume he was searching for weaknesses to use against her.

"This time instead of running away from something I am running towards something. This time I'm not leaving anything behind that will drag me back."

"Nothing?" Hyde murmured. "Isn't there anything or… anyone here that you'll miss?"

Jackie felt a flash of heat race through her body in response to the intimate tone of his voice and the soft look in his eyes. _Warning, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!_

"Well, Fez has promised to visit me all the time and Michael lives there and Donna is just a phone call away, that is if she needs me for anything." Jackie said this in a way that made it clear she didn't expect many phone calls from Donna.

"So, nobody else you'll miss?" Hyde persisted, moving his head closer to Jackie's. That was until Jackie looked him in the eyes and said flatly.

"No. No-one else." For a moment Hyde felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. That was until he recognised Jackie's expression. It was the same one she wore when they played fish and she swore she had no eights, the same one she wore when she asked him to wait for her while she went into a clothes shop and promised she would just be a minute. It was her barefaced-lie-face.

He was about to call her on it when Mrs Foreman came by with a tray of sausages wrapped in bacon.

"Jackie, you must try one of my Kitty Kuts." Jackie looked tempted by the offer but politely declined. "Oh come now, I don't think you've eaten anything all night. Try one! I know how you love bacon."

"No really, Mrs Foreman, I can't. Thanks anyway."

When Kitty had moved on to her next guest, Hyde asked Jackie "Why aren't you eating? You look kind of hungry, too."

"Oh, I'm on a juice diet," Jackie explained, glad to change the subject to something more neutral. "My new boss, Mr Brewster, says I need to drop a couple of pounds before I start the show in Chicago."

"That's crazy! You don't need to lose any weight. You're fine just as you are."

Jackie smiled. "Well, that's nice to hear but you know the camera adds on 10 pounds so I need to lose the weight so I can look as gorgeous on TV as I do in real life."

"No, you don't. I've seen your show and you always look gorgeous."

"You watch Happy Hour?" Jackie asked in amazement. "You, Steven Hyde, watch a show for pre-schoolers?"

Hyde blushed. "Well, sometimes – I mean, not because I fit into its target audience, or anything, but, well, you're on it and… hey, how about I get you a drink?" Hyde was anxious to change the subject. "Would you like a beer or some wine or something?"

"Oh, no, I'm not drinking alcohol tonight. Got a long drive ahead of me tomorrow," Jackie explained. She also felt like she would need all her wits about her to get through an evening with Hyde.

"Oh. How about some juice, then?"

"Actually, that would be nice."

Hyde raced into the kitchen to find some juice. He was eager to get back to Jackie as he felt he was finally making progress. When he opened the fridge door, however, he realised they were all out of regular juice. You see, in the Foreman house there was regular orange juice and there was Kitty's _special_ juice. Mrs Foreman had explained to the men of her household that she was the only one who could drink the special juice as it had special vitamins and additives designed specifically for women going through menopause. The implied suggestion that one sip of Kitty's special juice was the same as drinking liquid estrogen guaranteed that no man would touch it for fear of growing female body parts. Hyde figured that as Jackie was already a girl there was nothing in the juice that could hurt her. Nothing, that is, but the three bottles of vodka Kitty had secretly poured in. You see, what Hyde had forgotten was that you should never take the word of a closet alcoholic when it comes to the contents of their "special" juice.

"Here you go," he said cheerfully as he handed her the icy glass. He picked up a fresh can of beer and tapped it against the glass. "Bottom's up!" Jackie took a long pull of the juice.

"This juice has an unusual aftertaste." Hyde looked a little nervous that she might be tasting something medicinal until she added, "It's delicious! Thanks, Steven. I haven't eaten anything all day and I really needed this."

"Happy to be of service," Hyde answered with a salute. "There's more where that came from."

"You know," Jackie mused, relaxing her posture for the first time since Steven had sat next to her, "you've been acting quite odd tonight. It's almost like you're human or something."

"Gee, thanks."

"I mean, you haven't said anything mean to me all night. That is radically out of character for you."

This was the opening Hyde had been waiting for. "Look, Jackie, I know I've been a first-class dill hole to you ever since what happened in Chicago. I've wanted to tell you for a long time that I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Jackie repeated in surprise.

"_Really_ sorry," Hyde emphasized.

"Oh my," Jackie said. "An apology. How… inadequate."

"OK, I guess I deserve that."

"No, you know what you deserve, Steven? You deserve having the person you love more than anybody else in the world tear your heart out of your chest and then treat you like you never meant anything to them. That's what you deserve!"

"Is it? Then I guess you should be happy because that's what I got."

"I don't want to hear about the way you felt when Sam left," Jackie said angrily, standing up and ready to walk away.

"Damn it, Jackie, I wasn't talking about Sam," Hyde protested, but Jackie was too busy trying to get past him to listen. "Look, this is your last night here. Can we just try and be civil to each other, just for one night?" He gently grasped Jackie's arm to poise her flight which made her meet his eyes. "Please, Jackie. I don't want your last memories of me to be as a complete asshole."

"Well," Jackie said as a warm fuzzy glow spread through her, blurring the edges of her anger. "I guess it might be nice to leave things between us on a good note." She took another long draught of her juice and the warm fuzziness became even stronger. "Hey, can I get a refill on this?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A.N.This chapter has a flashback to a missing scene which would explain so much about the animosity between Jackie and Hyde in the final episodes of Season 8 without going AU.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Jackie and Hyde would be friendly to each other again," Eric said to Donna. They were currently watching the couple in question laughing together, a bit more enthusiastically than sober people do. The young people had moved the party down to the basement because Mr Foreman had announced he was sorry Jackie was going away as she was the only tolerable one out of Eric's idiot friends but the football highlights were about to begin and that took precedence.

"Yes, it's amazing the healing effects liquor has on a broken relationship," Donna replied cynically.

"I don't know, Donna. Maybe they're really making up with each other."

"Eric, Jackie is talking to Hyde and she hasn't thrown anything at him. She is definitely under the influence."

"Isn't it possible that Jackie might have come to understand Hyde's side of how he came to make the mistake of marrying the wrong person and she's forgiven him?"

"Hyde married a stripper when he told Jackie he wouldn't marry her. Then he stayed with Sam! No woman would ever forgive something like that." Donna said emphatically.

"I guess not," Eric said, his face falling in disappointment.

"Hey, what's wrong? Is this because of that bet you made? So you lose twenty bucks to Kelso; worse things can happen."

"Yes," Eric agreed hastily. "Yes, they certainly can."

"Oh my God, what on earth are they doing?" Donna gasped as she watched Jackie grab Hyde's hand and pull him into the middle of the floor space they had opened up by moving the coffee table. "Are they… they can't be… dancing?"

_Somebody's gonna hurt someone_

_Before the night is through_

_Somebody's gonna come undone_

_Nothin' we can do_

"Fez, turn it up," Hyde called out as Jackie grabbed him by the hips and ground herself against him. The raunchy rock stylings of the Eagles filled the basement.

_Everybody wants to touch somebody_

_If it takes all night_

_Everybody wants to take a little chance_

_Make it come out right_

"I love this song," Jackie yelled joyously as she shimmied her body against Hyde's. She sang the chorus at full volume, Hyde joining in.

_There's gonna be a heartache tonight_

_A heartache tonight, I know_

_There's gonna be a heartache tonight_

_A heartache tonight, I know_

Donna, Eric, Michael and Fez looked on with varying reactions of incredulity, hope, disappointment and arousal. They might have said or done something about this strange happening but they were all at that point in the evening when they had drunk so much alcohol that they had become spectators instead of participants in the events that happened around them. Which was why when Hyde's hands were sliding over Jackie's back and hips and butt, hungry for the touch of her, they just shrugged and went with this new development. Of course, being the laid-back people they were, they soon became used to the fact that Jackie and Hyde were apparently "on" again and the boys started drunkenly debating who would win in a fight between a snow leopard and a killer whale while Donna made soft snoring noises, curled up on the couch.

It was about an hour later when Fez looked around and slurred, "Hey, where'd Jyde and Hackie go?"

…………………………………………………………………..

There was someone standing on her head. Someone with spiked golf shoes was standing on her head. That's what it felt like to Jackie as she slowly came to consciousness. She wanted to keep her eyes closed, fall back into the inky blackness of sleep as some sixth sense warned her that she wasn't going to like what she saw when she opened them. But then she became aware that there was something very familiar about the way she was sleeping, something that took her back to a time three years ago when her parents had abandoned her and she used to sneak over to the Foreman's every night to share Steven's bed. Even though she was stubbornly keeping her eyes closed, she could not fight her body's recognition of the thin mattress of Steven's cot, the smell of his worn pillow and that old, cosseted feeling she would have when he circled his arm around her and slept spooned against her. _No_, she prayed internally, _not again._

But her prayer went unanswered as she gingerly opened her eyes and realised she had travelled back into the past, except with one difference; back then, they had slept with their pyjamas on.

"Aaaah!" Jackie shrieked as she took in the sight of a naked Steven Hyde. "Aaaah!" she shrieked again when she realised he was taking in the sight of a naked Jackie Burkhart. Hastily she looked around for her clothes which were flung all over his bedroom and rushed to put them on.

"Morning," Hyde offered. What he was trying to say with that one word was it felt good to wake up with Jackie in his arms again and last night had been fantastic and he knew that this time their relationship would work. However, he was fighting a hangover so all that came out was "Morning."

"Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God," Jackie moaned, "What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?" Hyde asked in disappointment.

"Yes, I remember," Jackie hissed angrily. "I'm not some blackout alkie! What I'm saying is how could it happen? This is impossible! I promised myself I would never let myself – but now I wake up _naked_ with you with a hangover and – wait a minute, how come I have a hangover? I didn't drink anything last night but orange juice."

"I know," Hyde said stupidly, not connecting the dots.

"The orange juice _you_ gave me," Jackie realised in horror. "Oh my God, you spiked my drink!"

"What? No, I didn't," Hyde protested.

"You bastard," Jackie shrieked. "How could you do something like that? Just when I think you couldn't possible sink any lower, I'm scraping you off my shoe!" Jackie grabbed her bra from where it was dangling from the water pipe, stuffed it in her pocket and stormed out of the door. Hyde just stared after her dumbly for a moment before rearing up in outrage.

"Now wait just a minute," he bellowed, following her out the door wearing nothing but his sheet. He bumped into Jackie's back and soon realised why she was frozen in place when he met the avid faces of his four friends. They were sitting on the couch which was turned around so it was facing his room. All they needed to complete the picture were buckets of popcorn.

"Uh… I guess you're wondering why I'm coming out of Steven's room," Jackie began, mentally scrambling for a cover story.

"Not really," Fez answered. "Even if we had not heard your sexy moans and screams last night, the bra hanging out of your pocket says it all."

"Jackie, I am so disappointed in you," Donna censored. "How could you just take him back like that? After everything he's done?"

"Yeah, Jackie," Kelso added. "Thanks to you I'm out twenty bucks!" He pulled out his wallet and handed two tens to Eric. "Here you go, Eric."

"Uh, Kelso, I don't think this is really the best time to pony up," Eric said through gritted teeth as Jackie's mouth hung open in shock.

"No, no Eric, I am an honourable man and an honourable man pays his bets straight away."

"I don't believe this," Jackie whispered. "You were all in on it, weren't you?"

"What?" Donna queried.

"All of you. You didn't throw this party for me because you are my friends. You threw it so you could watch Hyde get me drunk and seduce me."

"Jackie, that's not true," Kelso denied. "We didn't know he was going to get you drunk!"

"But you did know he was going to seduce me? And you took _bets_ on it?"

"Damn it, Kelso, shut your pie hole," Hyde ordered. "Jackie, I didn't get you drunk last night. I swear it."

"Hyde, maybe you were a bit too toasted yourself last night to notice but Jackie was pretty drunk," Donna said. "I mean, when you started playing Zeppelin, she said they were her favourite band. You know Jackie only loves Zeppelin when she's drunk."

"And you," Jackie spat, turning on Donna. "How could I take him back? How could you _let_ me take him back? You knew I was drunk, that I wasn't thinking straight. How can you call yourself my friend and just sit back and watch him screw me over? Hasn't that gotten old for you by now?

"Hey," Donna bristled. "It's not my place to interfere in this weird thing you guys have going. You know I don't play favourites."

"You don't play favourites? That's a laugh! So you didn't play favourites when you knew Michael was cheating on me and said nothing? You didn't play favourites when you told me I should take Hyde back after he slept with that nurse, _the same day_ I found out it happened? And how about when he brought Sam amongst us and you volunteered as her own personal welcoming committee? I guess what you mean is you've never played favourites with me, because you've certainly never favored me in any situation where it came down to taking my side or their's, even if right was on my side."

"Jackie – " Donna started.

"No, just save it, Donna, OK?" Jackie said in a shaky voice as she fought back tears. "I'm done with this. I'm done pretending you guys are my friends when really I'm nothing but a sideshow to you." She turned to face Hyde. "And I am done with you, Steven Hyde. If you ever come near me again, I'll take out a restraining order. I'm not just saying that, either. My daddy was a lawyer, I know about these things. From now on, you are evicted from my life."

Hyde paled at her calmly spoken words. If she had screamed them at him, he would not have had such a feeling of dread.

"Jackie, you don't mean that," he said, clutching her hand. His words sent them both back in time to that day when the things that had already been so wrong between them intensified to something intolerable. Ironically, it was the same day that Sam was revealed for the lying bigamist she was.

_2__nd__ December 1979_

_To say that Jackie was surprised to find Steven Hyde knocking on her front door that early winter day would be an understatement. But there he was, looking particularly stoic hiding behind his sunglasses._

"_What do you want?" she said bluntly._

"_Just thought I'd drop by and bring you up to date with the latest gossip," he answered, walking into her apartment without an invitation._

"_You don't gossip," Jackie reminded as Hyde walked over to the fridge and helped himself to a beer. He then made himself comfortable in Fez's favourite chair._

"_I'm not into talking trash about other people behind their backs. But seeing as how the gossip kind of involves me, I can make an exception to that rule."_

_Jackie's curiosity was now seriously aroused. It was at a level where she forgot the dangers of being alone with Steven Hyde, a situation she had strenuously avoided ever since his 'marriage'. But now she sat down beside him, eyes wide with interest. "What happened?"_

"_Turns out I'm not married after all," Hyde tossed out casually. _

"_What?" Jackie was stunned._

"_Sam's first husband showed up this morning. Seems he slipped her mind when she was hauling me in front of that Elvis marrying-preacher."_

"_I knew it," Jackie said gleefully. "I said from the start she was no good. Have you kicked her out yet? Cause if you haven't, I want to watch."_

"_Well, I haven't exactly made a decision about whether I want to split with Sam," Hyde said as he took a sip from his beer. Jackie stared at him._

"_What do you mean? She's already married and she never told you about it. She not only cheated you into marrying her but she cheated you into staying married to her! What more is there to consider?"_

"_Well, I don't want to make any rash decisions," Hyde said slowly. "After all, everybody makes mistakes. Sam's not so bad; maybe she deserves a break."_

_Jackie could feel the rage slowly bubbling inside of her. "You think that _Sam _deserves a chance? That she's the one who's earned the right to your miniscule store of forgiveness?" Hyde watched Jackie from behind his sunglasses as she began to melt down. A small smirk played on his lips as she finally dropped the zen role she had worn like armour ever since Sam had become a fixture._

_Jackie began to pace furiously as she railed at Hyde, pouring out four months worth of pain, anger and betrayal. How she was the one who had deserved his understanding after the Chicago incident, but he had not only refused it but done everything in his power to make her feel a fool for ever believing he cared about her. How he was the worst kind of hypocrite, first for marrying Sam when he told her he wasn't ready for marriage and now for even considering staying with her when she had betrayed him so much more deeply and intentionally than Jackie ever did. Throughout her harangue, Hyde said nothing but only continued to regard her with that annoying smirk. When she finally ran out of breath, he said "So what do you think I should do?"_

"_What?" Jackie panted._

"_I'm asking, Jackie; what would you have me do?" Hyde drew closer to Jackie as he asked his question, removing his glasses for the first time. Jackie drew her breath in sharply when she recognized the look in his eyes. It was a look which had never failed to raise her temperature and she was dismayed to find that it had not lost its effect on her. Her rational mind was screaming at her to punch him in the neck but when he narrowed the distance to the point where she could smell his warm breath, feel his arm hairs brush against her own, she forgot why he was so wrong for her. Then he kissed her. He kissed her a lot. And it was like every frayed nerve in her body relaxed, every taut muscle stretched out._

_When he drew back, he smiled at her dazed expression. "I guess you're not as over me as you made out," he said. His remark was like being plunged into ice-cold water, which had actually happened to Jackie just last week when they were looking for Mrs Foreman's wedding ring in the woods. When her distrust of him had led to her falling into the creek, he had mocked her and said "Well that couldn't have worked out any better." Now he was doing it again, demonstrating to her how she would never be free of him, how he could bring her back to his side by crooking his little finger just for the twisted pleasure of laughing at her weakness._

"_Go back to your wife," she had croaked. "I don't care anymore."_

"_Jackie, you don't mean that," he said, not believing her for a second._

"_Go!"_

"_Fine," Hyde said, brushing a swift kiss across her forehead. "I guess I've got the answer I came for."_

_So he had thought as he went home feeling more like himself than he had in months. But when Donna came around later that afternoon, saying she had just left Jackie preparing for a manhunt, making a list of all the qualities her new boyfriend would have (none of which qualities he had), his good mood switched to black depression. Donna had concluded this was because he was upset at losing Sam and had encouraged him to forget about all of Sam's lies and manipulations and just forgive her because "she makes you happy". _

"_You think so, huh?" Hyde asked, wondering exactly when Donna had lost all powers of perception._

"_Definitely," she said. "You know, maybe I should add an advice to the lovelorn spot to my radio show 'cause I am so good at this stuff! I've just about convinced Jackie that Fez fits her dream list to a T."_

"_Yeah, right," Hyde scoffed. "The most perverted moron in Point Place is her perfect match? __As if Jackie would ever go for someone like Fez."_

_But she had. When she had told him that she was suddenly fixated on Fez, he had pretended that he didn't give a damn and burned her with insinuations that she was a slut. But behind his aviator specs he was a walking powder keg. Suddenly he was speaking of Jackie as the devil's child who found delight in the suffering of mortals. Whenever Jackie was around or if anyone so much as mentioned her name, he took every opportunity to express his contempt and hatred for her. He did everything in his power to block Fez from her advances but in spite of his efforts they became a couple. The worst part of it was that he knew Jackie was not really in love with Fez, any more than he had been in love with Sam. Jackie was doing the same thing that he had done; using another person as a buffer to keep away the one she loved and feared._

_Back to the present…_

Jackie shook off Hyde's grasp. "Yes, _Hyde_, I do mean it. I mean every word." With that, Jackie picked up her purse and walked out of the basement door.

Hyde sat down numbly in his chair, his eyes never leaving that door. When he finally accepted she was not going to be coming back through it, he lowered his gaze to the floor. Eric looked on sympathetically.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man," Eric said. "Look, give her a chance to cool down, I'm sure she'll understand…"

"No," Hyde said slowly. "She won't. I've let her down too often for her to give me the benefit of any doubt. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe she's better off without me." The weak and unconvincing protests of his friends – "Nooo, that's not true – you guys were good together, sometimes" – reaffirmed him in this belief. He had taken one final shot at a do-over and he had blown it. Now all that was left was to live a life without hope. He used to know how to do that – it was how he was raised. Of course, even in a hopeless life there were some consolations. For instance; "Say, Kelso, remember what I said I'd do to you if you did anything to mess up my chances with Jackie?"

"What? You don't mean letting on about the bet, do you?" Kelso asked nervously as Hyde moved towards him. He backed towards the door. "C'mon, Hyde, I was just being honour – " As Hyde advanced towards him he bolted in terror out of the door, Hyde in close pursuit, completely forgetting he was wearing nothing but a sheet. So in a way Hyde did get his do-over, only it was of a different incident and this time he was the naked one.

"Hell," Donna grumbled, trying to deal with the empty feeling of having lost something she had never properly valued. "What more can go wrong?"

"Alright," a shrill voice rang out from the top of the basement stairs. "Which one of you little delinquents stole my _special_ juice?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A.N. Thanks for all your reviews – I am glad to hear you are enjoying my story. For the character of Conway Brewster, imagine Mr Jameson, the newspaper editor boss in the Spiderman movies.**

_30__th__ July 1980, Chicago_

"Van Doran," barked Mr Brewster as he freight-trained onto the Happy Hour set; the metaphor is particularly apt because wherever Conway Brewster went a half dozen of his minions trailed in his wake, their life's purpose to do his bidding.

"Yes, Mr Brewster," Bernie the Bear cried, snapping to attention. "What can I do for you, sir?" Although Bernard was normally a bruin that bowed to no man, he made an exception for the intimidating tower that was his employer. He was not alone in his reaction; Conway Brewster was one of those men who lived life at three times the speed of normal people, a fact that carried over into his general impatience with everyone around him. Add to that he was one of the richest and most powerful men in the entertainment industry, and it was no wonder that Bernard's voice rose an extra octave whenever he talked to him.

"Where's Burkhart?" Brewster demanded. "Why isn't she here?"

"She's just in the bathroom," Bernard said nervously.

"Bathroom! I'm not paying you people good money so you can loll about, disposing of bodily wastes whenever you feel like it! We need to put an end to this anarchy. Simpson," Brewster addressed his right-hand toady. "Take a memo. From now on bathroom breaks are to be pre-booked 24 hours in advance and authorised by two executive producers. You got that?"

"It's not that kind of bathroom break, Mr Brewster," Bernard tried to explain.

"Then what kind is it? What's she doing in there? Starting a sewing bee? Reading tea leaves? Riding the pink elephant? What, damn it!"

"Throwing up," Bernard squeaked.

"Throwing up?" Brewster looked surprised for a moment. Then he spotted his quarry walking towards him, her face pale and shiny. "Burkhart!" he shouted.

"Yes, Mr Brewster?" Jackie jumped at his summons.

"I hear you like to spend company time regurgitating in the women's bathrooms."

"Well, I wouldn't say 'like' exactly…"

"Normally I would get Cletis here to start putting together your final pay slip for that kind of time-wasting."

"Uh, my name is Cleaver, sir," one of his lackeys corrected. Brewster looked hard at him. "But I was thinking of changing it to Cletis," he amended hastily. Brewster continued to eye him. "How about I go down to the deed poll registry and take care of it now?"

"Cletis, don't talk like an idiot," Brewster reprimanded. "Do it on your lunch break, not my time. Now, like I was saying, Burkhart, normally you'd be combing the want ads except I think I know what is going on here."

"You do?" Jackie gulped.

"It's not hard to put the pieces together. Word is this isn't the first time you've made this kind of urgent exit from the set."

"Well, you see there's this stomach flu going around…"

"Save it. I know what it means when a young woman has to make frequent bathroom trips to throw up her lunch." Jackie turned even paler. "You can't hide the truth from me."

"Mr Brewster," Jackie began, "I never meant – "

"And just so you know, I heartily approve."

"You do?" Jackie was gobsmacked.

"Hell, yes. I like to see a girl who has the dedication to go the extra mile to keep her figure. Bulimia doesn't deserve the bad rap it gets." Brewster lowered his voice to a more confidential tone. "Just between you and me, I've noticed you've put on a couple of extra pounds. Lucky for you they went to the right places," Brewster said, glancing towards her swelling breasts, "but you don't want any of those fat cells taking residence down south. So you can carry on with your business. Sampson!" Brewster barked.

"That's me," Simpson replied.

"Exempt Burkhart from the bathroom memo." Conway Brewster looked around at all the actors and production crew frozen at their posts. "Well, don't just stand there gawking! Get back to work!"

As their boss strode onto another set to find some more people to terrorise, Bernard sidled up to Jackie. "Wow, bathroom break exemption. I guess this is what they mean by 'star treatment'." Bernard looked over at the silent Jackie who looked like she had just seen a ghost, and not just any ghost but the ghost of a poor person with bad fashion sense. "Hey, are you OK?"

The director called out over the set. "People, take an hour's break while we set up some lighting for Bernie the Bear's ballet recital."

"Oh God, will the horrors never cease," Bernard moaned. Jackie suddenly came back to life and pulled sharply on his arm.

"Come on; let's get out of here."

…………………………………………………………………..

"Alright, so are you going to tell me what is going on with you or am I just supposed to sit here and watch you tear into that roast beef sandwich like a starving wilderbeast?"

Jackie put down her sandwich and looked around the diner to make sure nobody was in earshot. "Bernie, can you keep a secret?"

"Not really," Bernard answered. "I always accidentally blurt them out at the worst times. And it's Ber-_nard_, for the last freaking time."

"Whatever," Jackie said distractedly. "Bernard, I'm pregnant."

Bernard stared at Jackie as though turned to stone. "What?" he wheezed.

"I said I'm pregnant," Jackie repeated.

"No," Bernard said, shaking his head. "You can't be! That's impossible. I've known nuns with more active love lives than yours."

"Trust me, there was nothing immaculate about this conception," Jackie snapped.

"What happened?"

Jackie studied her fingers which were pleating the paper place mat. "Well, I went to this party and my ex-boyfriend was there and we started talking and he kept giving me drinks only it turned out there was something in the drinks and… Oh God, how could I be so stupid?" Jackie covered her face with her hands. "Just when I think I've finally broken free of him I've got a lifetime reminder growing inside me."

Bernard's face softened in sympathy. "So I guess there's no chance of the traditional corny happy ending to this unplanned pregnancy?" Jackie shook her head. "I'm sorry, Jackie. What are you going to do? For that matter, what am I going to do?" Bernard started looking worried. "If you drop out of the show they'll probably cancel it. You're the one carrying Happy Hour."

"I'm not dropping out," Jackie said grimly. "This job is the only security I've got left. There is no way I'm giving it up."

"Jackie, pregnancy is not the kind of secret you can easily hide."

"All I have to do is keep it under wraps until my sixth month," Jackie schemed. "A lot of women hardly show until their sixth month. Then the show goes into hiatus, I have my baby, put the little tyke in daycare and ba-bing, I'm back in showbiz."

"You really think it will be that easy?" Bernard asked doubtfully. "You're working for a man who sees every bodily imperfection. You think he won't notice when you start sprouting an extra human being under your blouse?"

"I'm already in good with Klaus, the costume designer. I'll just get him to make sure my clothes are all along empire-lines. After all, this is a children's show, not a rock video. The kids aren't going to care if my clothes don't fit me like a second skin." Bernard continued to look sceptical. "Bernard, I really need you on my side if I'm going to get through this."

The young man sighed. "Of course I'm with you, Jackie."

"You're a doll," she declared, brushing her lips against his cheek. "I guess we'd better get you back to the studio for your ballet recital."

"Merciful Lord, why do you torment me with these ritual humiliations?" Bernard asked the heavens dramatically.

"Count your blessings, primadonna; at least you're not pregnant."

"Yeah, with your empty social calendar, it would have been more likely. Owww!" Bernard rubbed his arm where Jackie had frogged it.

"Watch yourself, Van Doran. I've got Steven Hyde's seed in me which means now I'm both bitchy _and_ violent."

"Well, I guess there's no come-back for me from that unless…Oh my God," Bernie cried in a loud voice. "Aren't you Jackie Burkhart, star of that new breakaway hit show, Happy Hour?" Suddenly all the kids in the family diner were craning their heads in Jackie's direction.

"Bernie, you dink," Jackie hissed as an avalanche of preschool humanity charged towards her. "I'll get you for this." In spite of her threat, Jackie turned a sweet smile on her young fans who started tugging on her skirt and calling her name in excitement. It had been just three days ago that she had discovered her condition, three days of worry and cursing both fate and one curly haired rebel. But now as she cuddled a pink-cheeked cherub while another lisped out one of the songs she had sung on her show, she began to see the possibilities of this unexpected development. As she imagined an adorable little girl, or maybe even a cheeky little boy, with her own silken hair and Steven's beautiful blue eyes, she felt a warm glow fill her. That moment marked the beginning of a love affair that would last a lifetime.

…………………………………………………………………..

"So where are we going now?" It was the end of the working day and Jackie had commandeered Bernard to escort her into the city.

"I need to read up on this whole pregnancy deal if I'm going to get through this," Jackie explained as she pointed to the Chicago Municipal Library.

"Why don't you just buy a book?" Bernard grumbled.

"Because," Jackie stated, "Now that I'm responsible for two I can't afford to waste my money." Jackie sighed as she thought of how little of her signing bonus was left after paying the security deposit on her apartment and the new furniture she had bought. From now on she would need to practice one of her least favourite things, economy. _This is definitely Steven's baby_, Jackie thought petulantly. _It's got me thinking like a poor person._

At the library Jackie picked up a weighty book, detailing in graphic pictures the wonders of pregnancy and childbirth. When some of the pictures of labour made Jackie feel queasy, she flipped to the end of the book to pictures of a smiling mother holding her perfect baby and she felt better. Until she saw the smiling father with his arm around the mother's waist. She closed the book abruptly. "Let's check this thing out and go," she snapped.

"Let the mood swings begin," Bernard announced as they took their place in the check-out queue.

"I am not having mood swings," Jackie denied. "And don't say things like that. People might think that I'm…"

"Well, you are, you know."

"Shut up, Bernie!" Jackie hissed.

"Oh, don't be so paranoid. It's the city library. It's not like you're going to run into anyone you know. I highly doubt that you keep the kind of company that's all that fond of reading."

"Hey!" Jackie objected.

"All I'm saying is there's no-one here who's going to care one way or the other that you're pregnant!"

"You're pregnant?" a familiar voice said as Jackie found herself at the borrowing desk. Jackie recognised the lovely librarian on the other side.

"Brooke?" Jackie replied weakly. Bernard looked between the two women staring in shock at each other. When Jackie turned accusing eyes on him, he held his hands up innocently. "Hey, I warned you! I told you I was a blurter."

…………………………………………………………………..

"Jackie, you have to tell him," Brooke said.

"Why?" Jackie demanded. "After what he did to me, Steven Hyde has zero rights when it comes to this baby."

Jackie and Brooke were ensconced in Jackie's apartment, finishing off the remains of the pizza they had ordered. After Brooke had stumbled upon her secret in the library, Brooke had asked Jackie if she would like to talk about her situation with someone who had also become accidentally pregnant to a man who, when not smashed out of her head, she would never have slept with. Now after Jackie had poured out the entire history of her relationship with Hyde up to and including the shocking finale, she was hurt that Brooke was taking his side.

"Look, Jackie, I know how you feel, believe me," Brooke promised. "When I found out I was pregnant with Michael Kelso's child, the boy who was the running joke of my book club circle, the last thing I wanted to do was tell him. It would have been so easy to say nothing and deny to my friends and family that he was the father."

"Then why didn't you?"

"A lot of reasons," Brooke said. "Even though I had a pretty good idea that a baby was the last thing Michael would want, as he proved when he denied ever touching me, I still felt he had a right to know. I mean, it's a huge thing being responsible for creating another human life. It didn't feel like it was the kind of knowledge I was justified in keeping to myself. And it turned out to be the right thing to do; even though Michael and I weren't meant to be, he's become a good father to Betsy."

"Steven won't want this baby," Jackie said positively. "He might want some other woman's baby – maybe Sam's – but not mine."

"Why would you say that?" Brooke asked gently. "Last time I saw you two together I thought he really cared for you. He would get this soft look in his eyes when he looked at you – only you."

"No, that's all gone." Jackie sipped darkly on her green tea, which Brooke had recommended to fight the nausea. "The day he walked into that hotel room and found me with Michael, it was like any feelings he ever had for me died in that moment. Not that they could have been that strong in the first place, if he didn't even know he wanted a future with me. I mean, when you ask someone if they want you in their future, it's not really asking that much, is it? It's not even asking for love because if you _liked_ someone you would want them in your future. But Steven never saw me that way. I was never meant to be permanent in his life. Which is why he's not going to want to share a child with me because it doesn't get any more permanent than that."

Brooke looked on sadly as Jackie brushed the tears from her eyes. "There is another reason to tell him," Brooke said. "If you don't tell him or your friends that you are having his baby, then you're going to be living a lie, and it's a pretty big lie to keep up. Sooner or later it's going to come out, and then you'll have to deal with the consequences of withholding vital information. So do you want Hyde to find out about his baby now or do you want it to happen when he runs into you on the street, 5 years from now, holding the hand of a little girl or boy who looks just like him?" Jackie's eyes widened as she pictured the scene; Steven would be all righteous indignation, acting like she had cheated him out of his fatherhood, even though they would both know it was a privilege he had no interest in. Yet he would pretend, because there was nothing he liked better than putting her in the wrong.

"I'll be damned if I'm giving him the moral high ground," Jackie declared angrily. "You're right, Brooke. Except – I can't tell him."

"Why not?"

Jackie groaned and buried her face in the sofa cushions. Then she sat up and sighed. "Brooke, let me take you on a journey of how that scene would play out."

_Fantasy sequence_

"_Hello, Steven, I'm back." Jackie called out as she walked through the basement door._

"_Just like a bad penny," Hyde answered. "What do you want now?"_

"_Steven, there's something I have to tell you. I'm pregnant and you're the father."_

_Kelso, Fez, Donna and Eric all pointed their fingers at her and shouted as one "Burn!"_

_Hyde stared at her blankly, eyes hidden behind his glasses. "Are you sure? Maybe you should wait for the blood tests before you pencil me in on the birth certificate. After all, there's always Kelso, or Fez. And we all know Bob isn't too picky. Hey, let's not forget the garden gnome across the street."_

"_Steven, you know I don't sleep around. Why don't you believe me when I tell you that you're the father?"_

_Hyde laughed maniacally. "Yeah, right. Face it, Jackie, you're a human pinball – you rebound against whatever guy is nearest. Tell you what, when you get the blood test results, then we'll talk. And if my sperm beat the other guys' to the finish line, maybe I'll throw a little child support your way, so long as it doesn't cut into my beer budget."_

_As Hyde walked out of the basement, Jackie cried after him, "Steven, wait! I'm telling the truth! Please!"_

"That's the way it would be," Jackie said coldly, "and there's no way I'm giving Steven Hyde another opportunity to wipe his feet on me."

"Well, maybe you could find another way to tell him but distance yourself from it at the same time," Brooke mused. "You could talk to him on the telephone. Or you could write him a letter."

"A letter?" Jackie considered.

"Sure. That way you could say exactly what you wanted and you wouldn't have to worry about his reaction."

"That's not a bad idea," Jackie admitted. "You know, I broke up with Michael in a letter. It was the perfect way to crowd in the best insults I could think of into one break-up speech."

"Yes, well, you might want to keep away from the insults this time," Brooke said. "Just make it clear you're writing to give him the facts, not because you expect anything from him. Just keep it polite. Distant."

"Zen," Jackie finished. "Yes, I know what I need to do now. Thank you, Brooke. You have been a true friend to me tonight."

"Entirely my pleasure," Brooke said, reaching over to hug Jackie. "You should come over to my place soon and meet your goddaughter. She's growing up so fast you won't recognise her."

"I'd love to," Jackie promised. "How about next Saturday?"

After Brooke left, Jackie rustled through her desk drawer to find some suitable stationery. She bypassed the rainbows and the kitten-patterned paper to pull out some heavy cream coloured stationery, its crisp plain finish proclaiming it was meant for serious business. It took three drafts, but eventually Jackie signed her name with satisfaction to the short but impersonal note she had written to inform Steven Hyde of the genetic cocktail they had created together. She was about to write his address on the envelope when she remembered that Mrs Foreman always brought in the mail and that good lady did have a tendency to snoop, especially when it involved the love life of one of her "babies". Jackie did not like the idea of anyone but Steven opening this letter. She slipped the blank envelope into her handbag; she would use one of the typewriters at work to type Steven's name and address so it would like a bill. That should get the missive past Mrs Foreman's prying eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

A.N. The response to the last chapter was wonderful – thank you all! Hope you enjoy this one (it's one of my favourites).

Chapter 6

_September 28, 1980, Chicago_

"So, how is he?" Eric asked in hushed tones.

"Eh, no better, no worse," Fez replied with a shrug. "At least he's out of his room today. That's an improvement."

"I can't believe how hard Hyde is taking this," Eric said, throwing down his duffel bag holding a week's worth of laundry.

"Tell me about it," Donna agreed. "When he and Jackie broke up after Chicago, he wasn't this depressed about it."

"Yes, but in fairness he did have stripper sex to distract himself with," Fez pointed out. "And his beer and pot intake tripled, which gave him artificial happiness. But now he is so sad he cannot even medicate himself out of it."

As the three friends approached the kitchen entrance to the basement, a haunting lament wafted from below.

"Oh my God," Donna breathed. "Tell me that's not what I think it is."

"I'm afraid so," Fez replied, shaking his head. "Country music. I did not mind it so much when it was Johnny Cash, but now he plays an endless loop of Willie Nelson. I tell you, if I hear one more song about how there's no gettin' over you, I am going to frickin' lose it."

"Damn it, we've got to do something about this," Eric declared. "What we need is to get a hold of Jackie. If we could explain about the orange juice and my mother's insane alcoholic subterfuges, maybe she could forgive him."

"You know we've been leaving phone messages for her at the TV station for two months now," Donna said. "She hasn't answered any of them and she hasn't told any of us her private number or even where she's living."

"Yes, she has really shut us out," Fez said sadly. "I mean, I could understand why she would do that to Donna but how could she turn her back on what we had? We lived together for a year! We were the Jackie and Fez show! Did all those times I peeked on her in the shower mean nothing to her?"

"She thinks we set her up for date-rape," Donna said. "That's not an easy thing to get past. And what do you mean you could understand her shutting me out in particular?"

"It's OK, guys. I talked to Kelso the other night and he said that he's asked a cop buddy to find out her address. Then he'll go and explain the whole cock-up to her."

"Eric, that is a wonderful idea," Fez approved. "With those melting brown eyes and perfect bone structure, how could Jackie resist him?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. What say we move this awkward moment down to the basement?"

The three friends descended the stairs to find Hyde sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the television. This would not have been so disturbing if it had been switched on.

"Hello, Hyde," Donna spoke in soothing tones. "It's your friends, Donna, Eric and Fez."

"Hey, buddy, how's it going?" Eric asked gently. Hyde remained silent, not turning his head to look at them. "Do you think he can hear us?" Eric whispered to the other two.

Suddenly, Hyde spoke in a weak voice. "Foreman, is that you?"

Eric jumped. "Yes! Yes, Hyde, I'm right here!"

"I can't see you. Come closer." Eric sat down on the other end of the couch. "Closer," Hyde rasped. Eric sat right next to him.

"I'm here for you, Man – OWWW!" Eric cried in pain as Hyde unleashed a lightning bolt frogging to his arm. "What the hell?"

"That's for talking to me like I've just had a frickin' lobotomy," Hyde said.

"Oh Hyde, it is good to see the angry red light back in your eyes," Fez cried.

"Yeah, well you guys have got to quit with all this damn tiptoe-ing around me," Hyde growled. "So I fucked up my life – again. That doesn't mean you have to treat me with kid gloves. Just stop being so damn gentle all the time."

Right on cue the back door to the basement was flung open and Kelso charged in. His normally goofy expression was replaced with one of deadly intent. It took but a moment for him to zero in on his target. With the roar of an enraged beast he launched himself at Hyde.

The three friends were shocked into immobility at the bizarre spectacle of Kelso attempting to beat the daylights out of Hyde, but they knew their assistance was not required. It was not long before Hyde had recovered from the surprise attack and was sitting on Kelso's head.

"Alright, so maybe you guys can treat me just a _little_ gentle," Hyde amended.

"Get off me, you dirt-wad," a muffled voice came from underneath Hyde's posterior.

"Not until you tell me why you want to murder me," Hyde answered.

"I just came from seeing Jackie," Kelso spat out. "I'm sure you can guess now why I'm kicking your ass."

"With what? Your nose?" Eric commented.

"Shut up, Foreman! Kelso, you've seen Jackie? How is she? Is there something wrong with her?"

"Oh sure, play the innocent," Kelso stood up as Hyde released him from the butt-lock. "I can't believe you would do this to her, Hyde. And after the way you tore me a new one because I wouldn't step up when it happened to me. God, you give hypocrisy a whole new meaning."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hyde was growing increasingly angrier.

"I'm talking about the letter Jackie wrote you," Kelso shouted in his face.

"What letter?"

"What letter! What letter! Wait, hang on – what letter?" Kelso was arrested in his righteous indignation. "You mean – you didn't get it?"

"Jackie wrote me a letter? I haven't really been reading my mail these days, but if I saw her handwriting, I would have – "

"Where's your mail?" Kelso interrupted. "Oh Man, I've got to see this! Fez, go find Hyde's mail." Kelso turned to Eric and Donna and whispered "Get set for the best burn in burning history."

"Here it is," Fez called as he came out of Hyde's room with arms overflowing with unopened correspondence. Hyde grabbed it from him and started frantically sorting, looking for Jackie's distinctive loopy handwriting. "I can't see anything from her."

"Yeah, she said something about typewriting the label so Mrs Foreman wouldn't get to it first," Kelso said.

"She has a keen insight into my mother's character," Eric said. "Hey, Hyde, open this one. That's the kind of quality stationery Jackie would use."

Hyde frantically tore the envelope open and unfolded Jackie's 'impersonal' letter.

_To Mr Steven J. Hyde_

_This letter is to inform you that on the night of June 18 you did impregnate one Jackie Burkhart by a totally scummy trick which I will never forgive you for._

_I understand that you will probably attempt to deny that the child is yours and I cannot stop you from thinking your usual paranoid thoughts. However I wish to state for the record that you are the only man I have slept with in a longer time than I am comfortable admitting. Not that it matters whether you think the baby is yours or not anyway because I am not expecting anything from you. I am letting you off the hook in regard to all things present and future baby related and intend to raise this child entirely by myself. I am just writing to let you know as a matter of courtesy._

_If you have an objection to any of this, my contact details are on this letter. If I don't hear from you, I will take that as your agreement that it is best you have no further involvement in my life or my child's._

_Yours sincerely_

_Ms Jaclyn B. Burkhart_

Hyde went through a variety of reactions as he read the letter; shock, indignation even a moment of some strange warm feeling. But the last paragraph obliterated all emotions but anger. "Doesn't think I'll have any objection? What the hell? How could she think I wouldn't want to be involved in my own kid's life?"

"WHAT???!" Donna, Eric and Fez cried while Kelso looked on smugly. As they devoured the letter they had plucked from Hyde's nerveless grip, their jaws dropped.

"She thinks I wouldn't believe the baby is mine? Where the hell does she get off telling me what I think? Just because I burned her a couple of times about being passed around the group – she must have known I didn't mean it."

"Hyde," Donna interrupted urgently. "Did you see the date on this letter? She sent this two months ago."

"Shit," Hyde cursed. "So what? She doesn't hear from me for two months and she thinks it justifies every lousy prediction she made about me?"

"Yeah," Kelso agreed. "That's kind of why I went Chuck Bronson on your ass back there."

"Kelso, did you explain about the whole spiked orange juice thing to Jackie?" Eric asked.

Kelso scratched his head. "Well, you know I was leading up to that but then I saw the pregnancy book on Jackie's coffee table and I noticed how much larger her breasts are.."

"Ooh, how much larger?" Fez asked eagerly.

"They are sweet, Man," Kelso said. "They've gone from grapefruits to rockmelons."

"Nice."

"Focus, Kelso," Hyde growled.

"Yeah, well having seen Brooke through her pregnancy I knew the signs and then the story came out, which kind of made me forget about the whole juice thing. When I told Jackie she had to tell you about the kid, she told me she already had in a letter but you obviously didn't want to have anything to do with it."

It was a full five minutes before Hyde could say anything worthy of a G rating. When he finally calmed down, Eric asked tentatively, "So, what are you going to do, Man?"

"Do? Do? I'm going to go to Chicago and tell Jackie just how frickin' involved I'm going to be in this kid's life, and hers for that matter! Give me that letter." He almost tore it out of Fez's hand. "And turn that damn country music off! Bunch of pansy-assed whiners!" With that, he slammed the door behind him.

"OK, I'm going to take that last comment as a good sign," Eric decided.

…………………………………………………………………..

It had been an eventful two months for Jackie. In it she had come to terms with the prospect of single motherhood, successfully hidden her pregnancy from her work colleagues and become better friends with Brooke and Bernard. So when Michael had burst into her little Chicago world dragging with him all those Point Place memories, she had not been thrilled to see him and had even tried to shut the door in his face. However, there was a reason why she and Michael Kelso had stayed together for 4 years in spite of his obvious shortcomings. She knew that even though he had hurt her countless times, it was never deliberate. When it came down to it, Michael was nothing more than a big scatterbrained dog who had a bad habit of jumping up on people, especially if they were female. She knew he was incapable of the necessary forethought to predict how the events of that going away party would hurt her, so in the end she had allowed him into her apartment.

As Jackie hemmed a pair of Brooke's maternity slacks to suit her shorter legs, she smiled in memory of Kelso's reaction to her pregnancy.

_Jackie, Hyde might not be man enough to do the right thing by you but I am._

_Michael, why are you down on one knee? Are you trying to look up my skirt?_

_No – well, partly. But Jackie, I want to marry you and take care of you and the baby._

Of course she had told him to stand up and stop being such an adorable dumbass, but she had been touched nonetheless. But now she could not help feeling a little worried about that determined look in his eye when he had left, vowing to kick Hyde's ass for abandoning her like this. He had not believed her when she insisted she didn't want Steven's help. As she reflected on the possible repercussions from Michael's visit, a pounding fist resounded against her front door. She had a sinking feeling those repercussions were now on her doorstep.

"Jackie, open this door right now," Hyde shouted. His demand sparked off Jackie's temper. No word from him for two months and now he turns up telling her what to do! Although her letter said it did not expect to hear from him, there was still a tiny remnant of the old Jackie in her that hoped he would prove her wrong.

Jackie flung the door wide. "Why, if it isn't Steven Hyde! What brings you to my fair city? Some beer-swilling festival I don't know about?" Hyde did not answer but raked his eyes over her body, seeking signs of change. Her waist did not seem much bigger than he remembered, although Kelso had been right about her breasts. "Hey, buddy – my eyes are up here."

"What brings me here?" Hyde repeated. He held up her letter. "You write me this – thing – and then wonder what brings me here?"

"Oh, so you came in response to my letter and it took you two months to get here? What, did you crawl here or something?"

"I only opened it today," Hyde answered. "If I had known – God, Jackie, how could you think I wouldn't want to be involved?"

Jackie shrugged. "Must be the years of watching you dodge commitment and responsibility."

"I would _never_ dodge this kind of responsibility," Hyde swore. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

"Yeah, I don't think you really want me to answer that question."

"Look, Jackie, I can see that after what you think I did to you your opinion of me might have suffered a bit but – "

"Might have suffered? That's putting it mildly! I already knew you were capable of betrayal and cruelty but I never would have pegged you for a rapist. Because that's what it is, Steven, when you deliberately get a girl so drunk she has no defences against her own…"

"Dirty urges?" Hyde supplied.

"Don't think you can smirk your way out of this one, _Hyde_. I meant what I said in that letter – this baby is mine and I'm raising it without any input from you."

"Hey, that kid is just as much mine, you know. I've got some rights here."

"Actually, you don't," Jackie replied icily. "The baby will be born illegitimate, which means that the only rights you have are what I choose to give you which I'm thinking will be, oh let's say, _none_!"

"Jackie, you can't do this!" Hyde said, switching from indignation to pleading. "What happened that last night, it isn't what you think."

"Let me guess – you didn't know the juice was spiked and it was just an amazing coincidence that you were supplying me with large quantities of alcohol on an empty stomach at the same party where our 'friends' were betting whether you'd get me to sleep with you or not?"

"Well… uh…yes," Hyde said unconvincingly. "Jackie, I swear I didn't know! You see, Mrs Foreman has this special juice and that's what I served you. But I give you my word I didn't know it was vodka making it so special."

"Steven," Jackie sighed. "Do you really expect me to believe that? I swear, this is no different than that time you told me you loved me to try to make me forgive you. You'd say anything to weasel your way out of trouble."

"Jackie, I wasn't lying – I never would lie about something like – "

"Save it, Hyde," Jackie broke in. "Your actions from this past year speak louder than words. There is nothing you can say to make me believe I was ever anything more than a sexual convenience to you, one that could easily be replaced by the first trashy stripper you drunkenly stumbled over."

Hyde was stunned, as much by the closed off expression on her face as by her bitter words. With a sinking heart he realised he had turned her into the same jaded person he had been after his parents deserted him. Jackie had redeemed him from his cynicism with her love and now he had repaid her by squashing all of the 'hopeless romantic' in her.

Jackie took advantage of his shock by planting her hand on his chest and pushing him backwards. "Goodbye, Steven. Let's have our next catch-up at our 10 year high school reunion." Before he knew it, Hyde was facing the other side of Jackie's front door.

"Oh yeah?" he shouted defiantly. "Well, that's all you know! You won't even be at my reunion because we graduated in different years!"

"I know!" Jackie called from behind the door, and Hyde could swear he heard her eyes rolling.

"Damn," he swore softly. "This isn't over, Jackie! I'm not giving up."

"But you do it so well," was her final snark before he heard her heels click-clacking away from the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N. After this instalment, my story will finally have caught up to Chapter 1. Thanks for reading and please review!**

Chapter 7

28 September 1980, Chicago 

_You do it so well._ These were the words playing in Hyde's head as he sat on a barstool, nursing his latest in a long line of scotches. Jackie thought the only thing he did well was giving up. He remembered a time when she would blather on endlessly about his 'potential', trying to talk him into going to college or moving ahead in his career. _Steven, you can be anything you want to be_ she would say, and although sometimes it would bug him because he didn't like having high expectations set for him in case he failed her, underneath that he was warmed by her faith. But now she had no more expectations of him, unrealistic or otherwise. She didn't even expect him to want to be a father. He remembered his mother's favourite catch-phrase; _Go ahead and leave, Steven – just like your father._

Funny to think he had stayed with Sam to prove to himself he was not the kind of man who walked out on his responsibilities. Yet that decision had led to this moment, when he was cast in exactly that role. "I'm not like Bud," he said under his breath.

"Ha! That's a laugh! You may not share DNA but you sure take after Bud," his mother replied, taking the barstool next to him.

"Mom!" Hyde cried. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Not getting served, that's for sure," Edna Hyde retorted. "Hey, Steven, make them bring me a whisky."

"What are you asking me for? Get your own damn drink!"

"I would but seeing as how this is your stupid dream, my hands are tied when it comes to drink-getting."

"I'm dreaming?" Hyde asked in surprise.

"Sure. Right now you're sitting passed out at the bar with a little pool of spit dripping from your mouth." Edna smirked. "Really brings out your resemblance to Bud."

"Stop saying that!"

"Why should I? You know it's true. You're just like him, Steven. You walk out when things get tough, just like Bud. The only way you know how to cope with a crisis is to get blinding drunk, just like Bud… which of course leads to making things ten times worse but that's a little pattern you've never really picked up on, right?" Edna brought her pasty face within inches of Hyde's. "Forget about that birth certificate, Steven; you are pure Bud Hyde."

Hyde felt every word she said like a body blow. "No," he protested weakly. "I'm trying to fix things. I'm trying to make it right."

Edna cackled hysterically. "Oh Steven, just when I thought I squashed all that childish naivety out of you, you come out with something like that! Don't you get it? You can't make anything right. You're the reason things go wrong. The best thing you can do for Jackie and your wretched spawn is to stay as far away from them as – " Edna would have had more to say on the subject but it was at this point that she was lifted out of her seat and tossed across the bar, colliding with a wall of liquor bottles to make a splendid crash.

Hyde blinked in amazement at what he had just witnessed, staring at the still figure of his mother, or at least the mental projection of his mother. Then he turned to face her attacker.

He was a soldier, dressed in combat fatigues with an army helmet shadowing his eyes. Everything about him was as hard as nails and from the menace of his stance Hyde would not have been surprised if he was next on the hit list. He was just debating whether he could dream up Bruce Lee to come and take out this hardass for him when the soldier spoke.

"Well, are you going to stare at me all night like a dumbass or are you going to order me a beer?"

"Red?" Hyde cried.

"Who else?" Red replied, taking off his helmet and sitting down on Edna's seat.

"Why did you just throw my mother over the bar?"

"You're asking me? This is your dream. You want to explore the symbolism of me kicking your mom's ass, then talk to a headshrinker, not me. Now, where's my beer?"

"Hang on, let me just concentrate for a second." At that moment a waitress who looked uncannily like the 1979 Playboy centrefold, Candy Loving, appeared with two foaming mugs.

"Here you go, boys," she said with a wink before she sashayed away, the short skirt of her skimpy costume (which incongruously looked more suited to a French maid than a waitress) hypnotising Hyde and Red.

"Nice," Hyde said appreciatively. "You know, that's Fez's dream girl."

Red shook his head to clear it. "Listen up, hophead. We don't have much time before the bouncer notices you've passed out and dumps your ass in the street. Now, what have you done to my flashlight-holding favourite?"

Hyde slumped as he remembered his troubles. "I knocked her up, Red. I was just trying to prove to her that I love her which somehow turned into… well, _proving _our love only now she thinks I just did it as some kind of burn and she won't believe me when I tell her otherwise. Red, what am I going to do? She says she's not letting me into her life or our kid's life ever again."

"Steven, I've witnessed some royal screw ups in my time – well, just look at who my son is – but this hole you've dug for yourself, it beats anything I've ever seen. And considering how Jackie gave you a second chance after that whole nurse incident, it's not like she'll believe you when you say this will never happen again because that's what you said last time."

"So what are you saying? That it's hopeless?" Hyde asked dejectedly.

"No, you idiot. I'm saying words aren't going to cut it in this situation. You can't talk your way back into her life. If you want her to see that you'll never let her down again, you're going to have to prove it to her – by your actions."

"How am I going to do that? She's not going to let me anywhere near her. She's more closed off than East Berlin."

"Then you have to break that commie wall by any means necessary," Red answered, cold steel in his voice. "Don't fool yourself kid; this is war. And the stakes aren't just Jackie any more, now you've got a kid and a kid needs its father. So you're going to have to do whatever it takes to get a foothold in the enemy's camp. Once you're in, then you can start reconstruction. But you need to storm her barricade before that can happen."

"Don't listen to him, Steven," a weak voice floated up from behind the bar counter. "You don't stand a chance – you should just cut your losses now and embrace your destiny as a career barfly."

"Hey! Pipe down or I'll come back there and stick a grenade up your ass," Red warned Edna.

"Ha! You can't kill me, Red Forman! You don't have that power!"

"Your evil shrew of a mother is right," Red acknowledged. "I don't have that power. But you do."

"What are you saying? You expect me to kill my own mother?" Hyde asked, shocked. "I can't do that!"

"You can either have that destructive voice whining in your head for the rest of your life or get rid of it once and for all." Red put down his revolver on the counter and then deliberately looked away. "It's your choice."

"No. No, I can't do it."

"That's right, Steven," Edna derided. "You can't do it. And you know why? Because you don't follow through on anything. I remember all those times when you were little you'd swear you were going to run away from home, but every damn morning I'd wake up and there you were. It's like I always say…"

BANG!

"Wow," Hyde said, putting down the smoking gun. "That was easier than I thought."

"Good man," Red approved. "Now go find the loud one and take no prisoners! Oh, and make sure you keep your body limp when the bouncer throws you onto the pavement."

As Hyde was shaken awake by the rough hand pulling him off his bar stool by his collar, he reflected that, for the first time in his life, perhaps a drinking binge really was the answer to his problems. He would know tomorrow, when he confronted Jackie with his new resolve.

…………………………………………………………………..

"Listen up, kids. I've got some exciting news," Conway Brewster announced to the cast and crew of Happy Hour.

"Did he just call us kids?" Bernard whispered in an aside to Jackie.

"I distrust him the most when he's genial," Jackie muttered back.

"As you know the show has been doing pretty good," Brewster began.

"Pretty good?" the director interrupted. "It's been number one in its time slot for the last two months! Advertisers are beating down our door to buy commercial time! The marketing department are already working on Jackie and Bernie dolls! That kind of success is…" he caught Brewster's intimidating gaze. "…um… pretty good?"

"Exactly," Brewster said, wilting the unfortunate director with his stink eye. "But there is always room for improvement. Now, Jackie, I understand you used to be head cheerleader in that one-horse town you grew up in?" Jackie tentatively agreed with a nod. "Well, I've figured out a way to use those skills of yours. We're going to have a segment in the show called 'Jump along with Jackie'. We'll dress you in a sparkly leotard, hire some support gymnasts and you can do all those backflips, basket catches and handstands just like you used to. The kids will eat it up."

Jackie paled at the thought of jerking her pregnant body through all those acrobatic poses while wearing an outfit that would hug every curve, particularly the one that was starting to grow in front of her.

"You know, C.B., the cheerleaders at Point Place weren't really into all the traditional cheerleading tricks," Jackie prevaricated. "We were from a more mellow school of thought."

"Mellow?"

"Yeah, we didn't go in for all that human pyramid stuff. When our team scored a goal we'd just hold hands and sway from side to side, chanting victory mantras."

"Lord, that town of yours is more backward than I thought," Brewster said in disgust. "Never mind, I'll hire a cheerleader to teach you the moves. Cletis, make a note to interview for the position of cheerleading coach. Jackie, you'll need to train for two hours each morning with her until you're up to grade. Alright, next item on the agenda is – "

"I can't do it," Jackie blurted out desperately.

"Can't?" Brewster rolled the word over his tongue as though it were foreign to him; not many people used that word when it came to Conway Brewster. "Do you mind telling me exactly why you 'can't' do it?" Jackie was frozen in a mute panic and Brewster nodded his head at her submission. "Like I was saying, next order of business is I want our promo people working on slogans for the new segment. I'm thinking something bold, something catchy, like – "

"I'm pregnant!"

"I'm pregnant," Conway continued. "Maybe with a banner as well as – you're WHAT?"

"Pregnant," Jackie repeated in a small voice.

As Brewster stared at Jackie with an increasingly wrathful expression, the rest of the cast skittered away from the danger zone. Even Bernie, who had every intention of standing by Jackie's side until his boss barked at him "Out! Now!" Jackie found herself alone, facing a boss so scary he made Christine St George look like a kindergarten teacher.

"How dare you!" he ground out. "I pull you out of obscurity and make you a star and this is the thanks I get? You get yourself pregnant?" From the disgust dripping from his voice, he obviously placed pregnancy one rung below syphilis. Jackie hung her head, her stomach squirming in fear-inspired nausea. In that moment she saw everything she had worked so hard for slipping away from her, the means by which she would support this baby crumbling to dust. What would she do if she lost this job? She had no-one to depend on, nothing to fall back on. And what would happen to her friends on the set if she brought down the show with her over-efficient fertility?

"I never meant for this to happen," she defended herself. "It was an accident."

"Let me guess, one night you had too much to drink and decided to _throw your life away_?" Brewster blasted. Her guilty silence confirmed his assessment. "And you're not married, are you? Well, isn't this marvellous! The star of my number one pre-school entertainment is an unmarried knocked-up little tart who'll give it away to anyone who gets her sloshed!"

"I think you might want to rephrase that," a young man said as he walked with quiet menace onto the set.

Brewster sneered at the quiet spoken intruder with his aviator sunglasses hiding his eyes. "And why would I want to do that?"

"Because if you don't I'll knock your teeth so far down your throat that you'll need an enema to get them back."

Jackie stared with wide eyes at her ex-boyfriend, and then back at her employer. "Steven, stay out of this," she hissed.

"No way," he replied. "Nobody speaks to my fiancé like that."

"Fiancé?" Jackie squeaked.

"Fiancé?" Brewster repeated thoughtfully.

"Yeah," Hyde said. "So don't you worry about your little PR problem. Our baby is going to be as legitimate as they come."

"I don't see any ring on her finger," Brewster pointed out sceptically.

"That's because I had to get it refitted," Hyde replied, drawing a tiny velvet box out of his pocket. He pulled out a beautiful diamond ring with a blue flame in its heart and slipped it onto Jackie's finger before she knew what was happening. "There you go, darlin'."

Conway Brewster may have been a bully but he wasn't a fool. For one thing, Jackie Burkhart was a huge asset to his network and he had no desire to lose her. And for another, her fiancé really did look a hair's breadth away from beating the crap out of him.

"Alright," he capitulated ungracefully. "Burkhart, I'll keep you on but only on the condition that you see a preacher within the week and let this neanderthal make an honest woman out of you. You'll work right to the end of the season, take the standard four months off and then you'd better be in shape to come back for the next season. Understood?"

"Yes," Jackie gasped, grabbing whatever chance was offered to keep her job.

As soon as Mr Brewster had walked out of sight, Jackie turned to Hyde. He was hoping for that same look she had given him after he had punched out Chip at the Veteran's Day barbecue. He would even have settled for the grateful half-smile she had thrown his way after he had chased off that molesting weirdo in the dog suit at Funland. Unfortunately, Jackie was all out of 'My Hero' expressions. What she did have was a plentiful supply of kicks to the shin.

"Shit!" Hyde cursed as he grabbed his leg in pain. "Damn it, Jackie!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jackie shouted.

"Saving your ass!"

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want any help from you? I don't want anything to do with you!"

"You may not want it but you definitely need it," Hyde answered. "Unless I misread the situation and working for that asshole isn't mega-important to you."

Jackie sifted her fingers through her hair in distraction. "I could have come up with another solution," she said. "You didn't have to back me into a corner like that."

"I warned you," Hyde said, flashing his most wicked grin. "This time I'm not giving up."

"Why this time?" Jackie asked, perplexed. "Why not the 101 times when I really wanted you to not give up on us? Why do you have to wait until I have completely given up on you before you decide not to give up on me?"

Hyde said nothing at first. Finally he replied, "The stakes are much higher now."

"Oh, I get it," Jackie said, backing away. "This is about the baby, isn't it? You only want to marry me so you'll have legal rights to my child."

"Our child," Hyde corrected. "And that's only part of it. Jackie – "

"Well, I won't do it," Jackie retorted. "I'm not hitching myself to you just so you can keep a good opinion about yourself."

"What are you talking about?"

"You always said the right time to get married is after you've got the girl pregnant and your back is against the wall. I've told you, Steven, you don't have to do the 'right thing'. I'm releasing you from that obligation."

"Jackie, look at me," Hyde said, taking off his glasses and staring into her eyes. "Do you really think I would consider my kid to be nothing but an obligation? Do you really think I wouldn't love and protect our baby?" Jackie dropped her eyes from his, indecision toppling her solid stance against Hyde. Somehow she knew in her heart that he would be a good father, if for no other reason than to flip the bird at his own rotten parents. She could certainly sympathise with that motive for she was adamant that she would not make the same mistakes with her child that her parents had made with her.

Yet how could she reconcile the Steven Hyde who could be such a solid friend to Donna with the man who had tossed her aside so callously? How could he be the guy that looked out for Fez and Kelso when their stupidity led them into danger yet he could laugh mockingly at her when his neglect made her fall into an icy creek? She remembered something that Fez had repeated to her, something Steven had said to Michael the night that idiot had set fire to her house; _So you did something horrible, but it's Jackie, so who cares?_

Perhaps that was the answer. Perhaps he had always seen her as someone to whom the rules of human decency just didn't apply. He had sometimes treated her that way before they got together and much more so after they broke up. Still, that didn't mean he would treat their baby that way. Was it selfish of her to deny her child a loving father just because said father devalued her?

"Alright then."

"What?"

Jackie walked across to her locker and pulled out her handbag, used her mirror and comb to repair the damage her nervous fingers had done to her hair and then turned to face the man who refused to let her go.

"I'll marry you, but there are conditions."

Hyde's heart was beating faster than a snare drum; he was almost light headed as everything he wanted was suddenly within reach. "What conditions?"

"I'll marry you so long as it is strictly a marriage of convenience."

"Marriage of convenience? What is that?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Well, if you ever read anything besides Rolling Stone, like say a regency romance novel, then you'd know that it's a marriage which is just for appearances. The two parties are husband and wife in name only."

"Then why would they want to get married?"

"Because they both benefit from the arrangement. In our case, you will be the legitimate father to my baby and in my case, I'll be able to keep my job."

"So, what would that mean in real terms, to be married in name only?"

"Well, no cohabiting for one thing," Jackie said.

Hyde took 'cohabiting' as a euphemism for something else. "Yeah, well, I sort of figured we'd have to work our way up to that, anyway."

"Look, Steven, any marriage we'd have would be not so much a lifetime commitment as a short-term lease."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll only marry you provided you agree to divorce me as soon as the baby is born."

Hyde contemplated Jackie, examining her proposition for loopholes. "Don't leases come with something called an option to renew?"

"Not this lease," Jackie stated. "So, what's it going to be, Steven? In or out?"

"What happens if I say no?"

"Then I'll tell Mr Brewster you were just covering for me when you said you were my fiance but that the real father of my baby is happy to marry me."

Hyde's jaw tightened at the notion of somebody else marrying Jackie. "Oh really? I didn't realise the paternity was in question. So who is this mystery husband-to-be? Don't you ever get tired of asking men to marry you?"

"A friend of mine. And no, I didn't sleep with him, Steven, not that it's any business of yours. But I'm sure he'd make a better fake husband than you would. In fact, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even giving you this option. I'd be much better off marrying someone who isn't a conniving bastard."

"Ah, but you forget that the motto of a conniving bastard is always to keep some blackmailing leverage on hand." Hyde reached into his pocket and brandished Jackie's letter. "Remember this little memo you sent me? You try and name someone else as the father of that baby and I'll take this to the biggest gossip-loving woman's magazine in Chicago. I can see the headlines now – _Entertainer of tots weds wrong man_. Or maybe _Who's your daddy? Jackie Burkhart's shameful secret."_

Jackie's eyes widened at Steven's threat. _Why didn't I listen to my father?_ she berated herself. _He always said never put anything in writing._

"Fine," she seethed. "I'll marry you. But if you try any of that kiss the bride crap, you're going to regret it!"

Hyde grinned as he watched Jackie stalk away from him in a boiling rage. "Meet you at the registry office tomorrow at noon," he called after her.

"Get bent," she threw back.

"That's right, sweetheart. I'll be counting the minutes as well."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_7__th__ October 1980_

_My God, she is so unbelievably beautiful_, Bernard thought as he gazed on the striking brunette sitting at one of the café's piazza tables. Did he dare speak to her, maybe hint at the feelings that had sparked to life soon after they had met? Or was he crazy to think a divinity such as her would look twice at him? Plus there was the whole bearing-another-man's-child hiccup. Maybe she was still in love with her baby's father, even though she said she had no feelings for him. Bernard sighed and straightened his shoulders, determined to continue the pretence that the only thing he expected from her was friendship.

"Bernie, I'm so glad you're here," the young woman said with a wide smile. "I was beginning to think I'd been stood up."

"No, no," he hastened to deny. "I just had a hard time getting away from the studio – you know how it is, everything has to be wrapped up before the weekend hits."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting – you hate it when people call you Bernie."

"What? No, don't be silly. You can call me Bernie if you like."

"Hey, Bernie. Did you order my mocha decaf?" Jackie breezed, collapsing into the third seat.

"Don't call me that!" Bernard ordered, eyebrows colliding on his face.

"He is such a grump," Jackie confided to Brooke. "So, what's with the emergency meeting, guys? Do you two have something you want to tell me? A budding romance, perhaps?" Jackie waggled her eyebrows suggestively, causing her two friends to look at each other self-consciously and break into simultaneous denials at such a ludicrous idea.

"Jackie, the reason why we're here is because you have some 'splainin' to do," Bernard said. "I want to know exactly what you said to Brewster to convince him to keep you on the show. And don't give me that line again about how you charmed him with your beauty and charisma because the only thing that attracts that sorry SOB has a dollar sign in front of it."

"I can't believe you told him you were pregnant in front of everybody," Brooke marvelled. "Weren't you scared of losing your job?"

"Forget the job! I'd be scared he'd order his flunkies to disembowel me, set me on fire and then take away my parking space."

Jackie looked at her hands, at the finger on which two rings had been placed six days ago. Of course, she had taken them off and put them in her bedside drawer as soon as she got home, but all week she had felt their phantom presence on her finger. Then she looked at her two friends who had been so supportive of her pregnancy. Even though she suspected that one of the reasons for the rally-arounds they arranged was a convenient excuse for these two to be in each other's company, she did not doubt their loyalty to her. That kind of loyalty deserved that she should give them her trust in return.

"Brewster didn't like the idea of an unmarried children's entertainer," Jackie explained. "The only way I could keep my job was if I found a husband."

"You're kidding!"

"Unbelievable!"

"So, what are you going to do?" they asked together.

"Well, I did think of asking Bernard here to marry me," Jackie said with a sly smirk.

"What?" Bernard squawked. "But there's nothing between you and me – there's nothing between Jackie and me," he insisted, turning to Brooke.

"Would you quit with the hyperventilating! You really know how to make a girl feel wanted," Jackie said sarcastically.

"So, once you recovered from your fit of temporary insanity, what did you come up with? Which unsuspecting male are you planning on going down on bended knee to?"

"OK, now don't freak out on me but – that part has already happened."

"Oh my God," Brooke shrieked. "You mean to say – you're engaged?"

"No, of course not," Jackie said. After she paused to sip her hot beverage, Jackie murmured, "I'm married."

If Brooke and Bernie had not been well brought up, they would have spit their coffee in Jackie's face. As it was, they choked on their drinks before Bernard managed to gasp "To who?"

"Steven Hyde." Jackie averted her eyes in embarrassment.

"Steven Hyde?" Brooke repeated.

"_The_ Steven Hyde?" Bernie asked doubtfully.

"No, another Steven Hyde, haven't you heard, he comes in six-packs now," Jackie snapped.

"Alright, start right at the beginning and don't leave anything out," Brooke directed, and she and Bernard settled themselves in for some serious listening.

_40 minutes later_…

"… and then I slapped him so hard my hand was still stinging an hour later."

"Wow," Bernard said. "Did they take a photo of the moment? 'Cause that would be a good one for the wedding album."

"So what happened next?" Brooke asked.

Jackie shrugged. "Nothing. We went our separate ways. Like I said, the marriage is all a sham. I'm not even telling anybody, not unless some reporter starts asking awkward questions. But chances are I can slip both pregnancy and marriage under the radar until the season break and no-one ever has to know – "

" – that your real name is Jaclyn Hyde? How weird is that! Jaclyn Hyde – Jekyll and Hyde. Sounds like the name of one of those bipolar nutcases. Ouch!" Bernie rubbed his arm where Jackie had pinched him. "Suits you, actually."

…………………………………………………………………..

As Jackie walked home to her apartment, she mused over the whereabouts of her husband-in-name. After her violent goodbye to Steven at their 'wedding' last Saturday, it was hardly surprising that she had not seen him since. Although she was relieved he had the good sense to take her wishes seriously and stay out of her life, that very thought made her uneasy. Steven's actions rarely kept company with good sense. Still, after spending the last few days waiting for the other shoe to drop, she was finally coming to accept that she had seen the last of Steven Hyde.

Which was why when she opened the door to her apartment to find him puttering around her kitchen like it was his second home, it was little wonder she stood there gaping at him in amazement.

"Hi, honey. How was your day?" Hyde asked as he chopped vegetables with the efficiency of a short-order cook (which he once was).

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Jackie exploded. "How did you even get in here?"

"Found your spare key," he replied. "How many times have I told you on top of the door sill is the first place a burglar looks?" Hyde shook his head in disapproval. "You've really got to start being more careful, Jackie. We're not in Point Place any more."

"We? No, not 'we'. There is no 'we'. Me! I'm not in Point Place! You – you should be! Go home!" Jackie finished, pointing to the door like she was talking to a stubborn basset hound.

"You know, this is what we should have done in the first place," Hyde said, ignoring her dismissal. "When you got that first Chicago job offer."

"What?" Jackie asked, bewildered.

"Commute! I mean, I've got my store in Point Place to run on the weekdays but every weekend I'll come up here and be with you." Hyde grinned cheerfully at his wife. "I can't believe it took us a year to figure that one out."

Jackie took a deep breath and spoke as slowly as if she were talking to a backward child – or Kelso. "Look, Steven, when I agreed to marry you I said there would be no cohabiting. Remember?"

"Of course," Hyde replied. "That's why I put my stuff in the spare bedroom. Jackie, don't worry – I'm not going to pressure you to 'cohabit' with me until you are good and ready. Even though we are newlyweds. And this is our honeymoon period. But doll, I swear I'm putting your needs first." Hyde looked very proud of his own self-restraint.

Jackie stared and could barely speak through her frustration. "I wasn't talking about sex, you moron! I was talking about living together."

Hyde looked so taken aback that Jackie could almost believe he had not deliberately mistaken her meaning. Almost.

"Oh, you meant that literally? Well, darn it, Jacks, I thought you meant the other thing…"

"Uh huh," Jackie said, arms folded and foot tapping.

"…and I can't help wishing you'd made yourself a bit clearer then so we could have avoided this awkward moment…"

"Oh, we passed 'awkward' 15 minutes ago."

"…because if I'd known what you meant I would have told you then that I'm not OK with that."

"You're what?!" Jackie seethed.

"Okay, let me break this down into simple terms. One – you are pregnant. Two – that's my kid in there. And three – you're my wife. Put those all together and it adds up to there's no way I'm going to let you go through this pregnancy on your own."

"Steven, let me break this down for _you_ – if you are not out of my apartment within the next 30 seconds I am going to kick you so hard that – " Jackie's tirade broke off as the most heavenly aroma she had ever smelled wafted from the oven door that Hyde had just opened. "What is that?"

"Lamb roast with baked potatoes and honey glazed vegetables," Hyde answered, lowering the sizzling baking dish onto a wooden board. "I thought you'd be hungry."

Jackie tried to look indifferent but she could not disconnect her eyes from the gently bubbling goodness. "I had a coffee on the way home so, you know, I'm good." To her embarrassment her stomach contradicted her with a very audible growl.

Hyde grinned in amusement. "Sounds like someone in there has a different opinion." He took pity on her discomfort. "Come on, Jacks, eating one meal with me won't kill you. You know you've got to keep your strength up. Plus when was the last time you had a home-cooked meal like this?" When Jackie saw those juicy slices of meat being carved onto her dinner plate, her body overruled her mind. Before she knew it she was sitting down at the table, which she now noticed was set for two with a chilled bottle of water in the centre, suggesting Hyde was sacrificing his own love of alcohol in deference to her mandatory sobriety. She dived into her meal with gusto, giving all her attention to the business of ingesting this divine sustenance. Finally she looked up to see Hyde smiling fondly at her ravenous appetite.

Jackie sighed. "This baby is turning me into such a carnivore. I used to exist on salads but now I'm craving flesh like a starving jungle cat."

"It's the Hyde heritage," her companion declared. "My meat-loving genes have kicked your wussy salad eating genes' butt."

"I didn't think I'd see you again," Jackie admitted. "You know – after the slap."

"Yeah, I thought I'd give you some time to cool down. Also I needed time to put my head on straight – you spun it around so hard I could see my own ass."

When Jackie put her hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles, Hyde noticed her naked fingers and frowned slightly.

"Where are your rings?" he asked quietly.

"In my dresser drawer," Jackie replied, the laughter chased from her face. She looked to his hand and saw the gold band circling his finger and felt a pang of guilt. This made her anger return because he had no right making her feel guilty. "You know I want to keep this… arrangement we have private. I can't very well wear those rings in public."

"Alright," Hyde answered. "But we're not in public now. It's just you and me. Don't you think you could wear them at times like this?" There was something in the way he spoke that touched her heart, something appealing in his light blue eyes that made Jackie want to give in – just a little.

"I'll wear the wedding ring," Jackie conceded, her eyes on the napkin she was nervously pleating. "But not the engagement ring."

"You don't like that ring?" Hyde questioned. He was disappointed – he was sure when he first set eyes on it that it would be the perfect ring for Jackie.

"I can't wear a ring meant for another woman, Steven," Jackie said sadly.

"What – you think I bought that ring for Sam?" Hyde was stunned.

"You told Brewster that you had to get it refitted. That means you didn't buy it to fit my finger. And seeing as how Sam is the only other girl you would buy a diamond ring for – "

"Jackie, the only ring I would ever buy Sam would cost 25 cents and come out of a gum ball machine," Hyde said bluntly. "I only made up that refitting excuse to your boss because it would sound crazy if I said I've been in the habit of carrying an engagement ring around with me for the last 16 months."

Jackie's eyes flew to Hyde's. "16 months? You mean – when I left for Chicago?" Hyde nodded. "But you said you weren't ready for marriage. You said you couldn't see a future with me."

"No, I said I didn't know about our future, which is a very different thing. And I may not have felt ready for marriage, but I figured it would be a hell of a lot better than losing you. So I bought the ring, went to Chicago to propose – and you know how the story ends."

"Yes," Jackie acknowledged, "with Michael." Hyde saw the tears glittering in her eyes and cursed himself for an idiot for bringing the conversation back to this point.

"It doesn't matter anymore," he said.

"Yes, it does," Jackie replied. "It's always going to matter to you, Steven. I could tell you until I'm blue in the face that things were over between me and Michael a long time ago, that nothing happened in that motel room, but there will always be a part of you that's not going to believe that."

"Jackie, that's not true," Hyde denied. "I do believe it now."

Jackie sighed. "Steven, this dinner – it was a really sweet gesture. But you know that things aren't going to work out between us. They never do. How many times do you have to watch the same movie before you accept that the ending is never going to change?"

Hyde's jaw tightened into a stubborn line. "Oh, yes it will. This time we're working with a whole new script – and let's not forget our upcoming guest star." Jackie placed a hand over her belly protectively and gave that little Mona Lisa smile that pregnant women have worn since the beginning of time.

"I know the baby is going to change things between us," Jackie said. "That's exactly why you and I can't go back to what we had. We are just too volatile together, Steven – we're like some chemically unbalanced compound that could explode at any second."

"So you admit we still have chemistry," Hyde accused.

"Of course we do, Steven," Jackie said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Geez, I'm not paralysed below the waist, you know. My point is that just because you are addicted to something doesn't mean you should give into it. I'm finished with secret basement make-outs and top-of-watertower make-outs and – "

" – the freezer aisle at the Piggly-Wiggly make-outs," Hyde added reminiscently.

" – because it never works out with us, Steven," Jackie continued. "It was hard enough just putting myself back together after the last time. I couldn't survive it again. And I don't think it's fair to have our child caught in the crossfire of its parents' problems, the way you and I were growing up."

"Jackie, I swear it wouldn't be that way," Hyde pleaded.

Jackie stood up from the table. "I'm tired, Steven. I'm going to bed now. Are you going to leave?" Her question was a challenge. Hyde measured her with his eyes.

"No," he decided.

Jackie shrugged. "Suit yourself. But it's not going to change anything." Then she walked into her bedroom and closed the door.

"Yes, it will," Hyde promised. "I've got my foothold now. You can bring on your cold war and try and freeze me out but I'm not going anywhere, doll face. You're just going to have to deal with that."

**A.N. Hope you guys liked all the JH – can you feel the mood shifting? Also, who fell for my little 'fake-out' at the start? Did you think it was Jackie that Bernie was crushing on? Heh heh!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**A.N. Merry Christmas to all my wonderful readers and I wish you all the best for the season. If you're wondering what I would like for Christmas, it begins with an r and ends in view!**

_5__th__ November 1980, Chicago_

"I can't deal with this," was Jackie's muffled moan from where her head was buried in her arms.

"What did he do wrong now?" Brooke asked in long-suffering tones.

Jackie raised her head, her mood switching from melodrama to annoyance. "He doesn't do anything wrong, Brooke! That's the problem."

It had been five weeks since she had traded her 'Miss' in for a 'Mrs', five weeks of spending weekends with Steven. She had made a token protest when he turned up that second weekend, muttering the words "restraining order" under her breath. Steven had argued that wasn't going to work now because they were married to which she had smugly replied "Who do you think 90 per cent of restraining orders are taken out against? Husbands and exes, that's who!" But they both knew it was an empty threat.

So even though she took no steps to stop it, Jackie was still opposed in principle to Hyde's continued presence in her apartment. Even if he did know how to cook. Or how to make her laugh. And he could tell with just one look when she was worn out and would make her rest.

"Since when is perfection a problem?" Brooke asked.

"Because it lulls me into a state of false security," Jackie retorted. "I know how this scene goes – just when I think he has really changed and all our problems are behind us, BAM! we'll have a fight, he'll get drunk and before you know it he's married to a stripper."

"I don't think he's likely to do that again," Brooke replied thoughtfully. "I mean, that's the kind of height-of-stupidity move a person achieves only once in a lifetime."

"You have to give Steven credit. He's already proven himself capable of two such moronic moments so far. I'm sure he's good for a third."

"Alright, so what brought on this latest meltdown?" Brooke questioned. Jackie leaned back into her friend's squishiest armchair and began the tale of Hyde's latest crimes against her as she gently stroked Betsy's hair; the 18 monther had fallen asleep on Jackie's lap after an imaginary tea party with her godmother.

"Well, there's the way he's always nagging me to rest more and to stop working such late hours – like I can afford to get on Brewster's wrong side and risk my job when I've got a child to support!"

"You don't believe Hyde would help out if you got fired?"

"Not enough to risk my baby's future. The current Steven might but who knows what he'll be like 5 months from now."

"Distrustful much?" Brooke murmured.

"Hey, that man went from being my best friend and lover to the ex-boyfriend from hell overnight," Jackie rebutted. "I've got a right to second guess."

"Still, that doesn't seem enough to explain why you've turned up on my front door begging for a place to hide-out from him."

"I'm not putting you out, am I?" Jackie asked. She mentally congratulated herself for asking the question; the old Jackie would not have been capable of it.

"Oh, it's fine," Brooke said casually. "I mean, Bernie was going to come around tonight to watch the new BBC production of Henry V on cable, but it's no problem." Jackie raised an eyebrow. "We're just friends, Jackie," Brooke said sternly.

"So you keep telling me," Jackie answered. "Over and over and over. You could do a lot worse than Bernard, you know. Underneath all that unappreciated artist angst, he's a pretty decent guy."

"Hey, can we just stick to your love-life, please? Just because I've finally found someone to talk to about higher subjects than baby formula and teething rings doesn't mean I'm going to fall all over him like some desperate sex-starved woman who hasn't been with a man since Molly Hatchet toured the Midwest."

"Oh, please, Brooke! You don't know the meaning of sex-starved," Jackie griped. "Imagine this scenario; you haven't been with a man for 4 months, your body is pumping out so many hormones that you're ready to jump anything with a Y chromosome and then throw into the mix having to live with a man who walks around in his tight concert tees and those dirty, threadbare jeans and he smells so good and then he accidentally brushes up against you and your whole body blushes with the thoughts that jump into your head…" Jackie moodily stared ahead, lost in her thoughts. When Brooke clicked her fingers in her face, she jumped. "Right! Yes. OK, so you want to know why I'm sitting here on a Friday night instead of going home to Steven? Well, it's because of last Wednesday night. I had an appointment with my OB for my first ultrasound," Jackie said.

"And Hyde didn't want to go with you?" Brooke asked sympathetically.

"Oh no. I never even told Steven about it. He lives back home during the week and well – you know – it's hard enough keeping my distance from him as it is."

"Well, you are living together."

"We are NOT living together," Jackie insisted. "I've explained that to you. He is like a prowler that breaks into my flat every weekend. He is there against my will and has no connection to me whatsoever!"

"Except that you're married to him and having his baby," Brooke pointed out.

Jackie paused a beat. "Well, yeah, except for that. So anyway, I was waiting in the OB's exam room in that shapeless hospital gown they inflict on you when who should walk in like he's got every right to be there?"

"The doctor?" Brooke hazarded. Jackie gave her a look. "Just kidding."

_Last Wednesday…_

"_Steven!" Jackie cried in astonishment. "What are you doing here?"_

"_Where else would I be?" he answered. "You didn't think I'd miss our kid's small screen debut?"_

"_But how did you – " _

"_I saw the appointment on your calendar," Hyde explained. Just then Jackie's doctor walked in._

"_Well, Miss Burkhart, how are we feeling today?" he asked, too busy looking at Jackie's chart to notice Hyde._

"_Well, my wife and I are feeling fine," Hyde answered. "Can't answer for this Miss Burkhart person, though. Do you know who he's talking about, honey?"_

_Jackie rolled her eyes. "You'll have to forgive my husband, Dr Footit."_

"_That's alright, nothing to forgive," he answered, slightly mystified._

"_The appointment's not over yet," Jackie said ominously._

"_Riiight. Let's just see how that little bundle of joy inside you is doing, shall we? If you'd like to lie down Miss – uh, Mrs…"_

"_Hyde," Hyde said and moved to sit down next to Jackie. "Call her Mrs Hyde."_

"_O-kay," Dr Footit said. He drew Jackie's gown aside to bare her stomach. "So, Mrs Hyde, have you been feeling any more discomfort in these areas?" His fingers lightly pressed down on her abdomen._

"_Hey!" Hyde objected. "Are you supposed to be touching her like that? Isn't there a nurse who does that kind of – intimate stuff?"_

"_Mr Hyde, I assure you, I am merely examining your wife," the doctor explained nervously._

"_Listen, pal, the only man who gets to do that kind of examining to my wife is me," Hyde intimidated._

"_Steven, would you just sit down and shut up," Jackie snapped. Hyde did so, grumbling in the process. But when the doctor ran the scanner over Jackie's stomach and a rapid thumping noise pulsed through the ultrasound speaker, he forgot all his grievances and sat up in shock. "What the hell is that?"_

"_That's your baby, Mr Hyde," the doctor replied. "If you'll look to the screen, you can see the foetus is already well developed at 17 weeks."_

_Jackie and Hyde both gazed in wonder upon the miracle captured on the grainy black and white monitor. Without thought, Jackie reached her hand out to Hyde and he squeezed it in his own._

"_That's our baby, Steven," she whispered. "Oh, Steven."_

_Hyde was blown away by this strange sensation that was gripping his heart. What had been theoretical before was suddenly a reality. "Our baby," he repeated in awe. He looked at Jackie's glowing face, her eyes shining with happy tears, and as though it were the most natural thing in the world he leaned down and kissed her. And because it was the most natural thing in the world, Jackie just as unthinkingly kissed him back._

"Oh Brooke," Jackie said sadly. "I am in soooo much trouble."

…………………………………………………………………..

When Jackie arrived home, she opened her door a little apprehensively, expecting an interrogation from Hyde as to why she was over an hour late. Instead she faced an empty apartment.

"Huh," Jackie said to herself. She peered into Hyde's room to see if his duffel bag was in there. It wasn't. "I guess I'm finally rid of him," she said to herself, saying the words aloud to prompt the feelings of relief she should be feeling and take the place of what felt suspiciously like disappointment. It didn't work. "Damn it!" she cursed, kicking the table leg. She was hopping on one foot, rubbing her big toe in pain, when the front door suddenly opened and a familiar curly head peeked around.

"Hey," Hyde said, looking distinctly harried.

"Hey," Jackie replied stupidly, still standing on one foot.

"Look, there's something I have to tell you," Hyde began, entering the apartment, "and we don't have much time. But before I begin – what's with the stork imitation?"

"Oh, I, uh, just stubbed my toe," Jackie explained. "Which reminds me, where the hell have you been?"

"Miss me?" Hyde asked with a smirk as he made his way to the kitchen and started pulling out pots and pans.

"No!" Jackie denied. "What are you doing?"

"Making dinner," Hyde said. "How many steaks are in the freezer?"

"I don't know. There should be enough for us."

"We'll need four."

"Four? Why would we – " Jackie froze as she noticed Hyde's guilty expression. "Steven, what did you do?"

_Back in Point Place earlier that day_…

"_So, how's married life treating you?" Eric asked Hyde as he passed the pipe to his friend._

"_Can't complain," Hyde answered stoically. Then he grinned. "Well, I usually could but the circle has a way of making me forget the things that are bugging me."_

"_Man, I can't believe you're going to be a dad," Kelso said. "I'm telling you, Hyde, it's awesome! You can play with toys and watch cartoons with your kid and if anyone catches you doing it, you just pretend you're only doing it for your kid's sake. Suckers!"_

"_I do not understand why we are not allowed to come and visit Jackie as well," Fez whined. "I miss my radiant goddess – and I want to see the rockmelons."_

"_Fez, I've told you before. She's still pissed at you guys."_

"_But that is why we must see her. Once she sees these sorry puppy-dog faces, how can she not forgive us for… whatever it was we did wrong. What was it again?"_

"_I'm not sure," Eric said with a frown. "Man, we were so wasted that night."_

"_Look, guys, Jackie's going to come around, but she only has so much forgiveness in her and right now I need every ounce of it for myself. If you lot turn up it could redirect her mercy away from me." _

_Kelso nodded in understanding. "Hyde makes a good point. After the way he spiked her drink, took advantage of her and got her pregnant – hell, Gandhi himself would have kicked him in the nads for that!"_

"_Thanks, Kelso," Hyde said sarcastically. "And for the last time, I did not spike her drink – I didn't even realise she was drunk! I'm having a hard enough time convincing her of that, I don't have the energy to drum it into your thick skull." Hyde stood up and backed away from the fumes. "Well, I'd better start putting my things together for the weekend." Hyde smiled at the thought of seeing Jackie again. After the kiss they had shared last Wednesday, he felt that he was finally breaking through her resistance. He reached into his pocket for his wedding band which he slipped onto his finger. He did not wear it around the house as Red and Kitty were still unaware of his state of affairs. The strange nature of his latest marriage was not something he felt he could explain to his foster parents. "Now remember, Foreman, as far as your parents are concerned I'm still doing that weekend business training course in Milwaukee."_

"_Oh, come on, Hyde, you think I don't know the drill by now?" Eric retorted, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a complete dumbass. It's not like if you forgot to remind me I'm gonna sit down to breakfast and say 'Hyde's in Chicago visiting his wife and could you pass the maple syrup'."_

"_Foreman, I've learned to never underestimate – " Hyde's caustic comment was cut short by the high pitched shriek that rang out from the top of the stairs. He looked up to see Mrs Foreman staring down, a basket of laundry scattered around her feet where it had fallen in her shock._

"_Oh my God," she cried, running down the stairs. "Steven – are you married?"_

"_What? No, no, of course not," Hyde denied, holding his hands up in innocence while mentally throttling Eric. Of course, Mrs Foreman would see the glint of gold on his finger and before he knew it she had yanked his hand towards her._

"_A wedding ring," she gasped. "It's true!" she looked up at Hyde with trepidation. "Oh Steven, you haven't been hanging around those strip clubs again, have you?"_

"_It is nothing like that, Miss Kitty," Fez spoke up for his friend. "This time Hyde married the girl he is in love with, not the girl he is in drunk with." Hyde turned an exasperated face on his loose-lipped friend when Kitty let out a delighted squeal that made his eardrums ring._

"_Jackie!" she cried. "If you love her it can only be Jackie! Oh Steven, I am so happy for you," Kitty reached her small arms around her surrogate son and hugged him with all her strength. "I didn't want to mention it at the time but I was so upset when you brought that Sam home and broke Jackie's heart."_

"_You were?" Hyde wheezed. Kitty loosened her grip._

"_Of course. You're like a son to Red and me, Steven, and we have been so worried about you this past year. But if you've won Jackie back, then that shows you have got your life back on track. Oh, I just know you two are going to be so happy together and bless me with lots of grandbabies!"_

"_Wow, you're like one of those psycho's, Mrs Foreman," Kelso said, impressed. _

"_I beg your pardon?" Kitty cried, offended._

"_You know, one of those people that can sense things," Kelso explained. "Because Jackie and Hyde are halfway to delivering on the whole grandbaby thing."_

"_Kelso," Hyde barked in warning. But he was too late. Kitty was looking up at him with shining eyes and the widest smile he had ever seen._

"_A baby? You two are having a baby?" Soon she was jumping up and down, her hands covering her mouth. "Oh, this is wonderful! Wait until I tell Red."_

Back to the present…

"So now they both know?" Jackie cried.

"Yep," Hyde answered, flipping the steaks in the frying pan.

"Oh, this is a disaster," Jackie moaned. "How am I ever going to face them again? What will I say?" Just then the doorbell rang three times in quick succession.

"I think you'd better figure that out pretty soon," Hyde advised. "Because they kind of invited themselves to dinner."

"What?!!" Jackie looked at a sheepish Hyde in disbelief. With a squeal of pure aggravation, she stepped towards the front door but was arrested by Hyde's hand grabbing her arm.

"Jackie," he said urgently, "I need you to do something for me." Jackie raised her eyebrows incredulously, but Hyde ignored it. "I need you to not let on about the situation between us."

"You mean the way you strong-armed me into this temporary marriage?" Jackie said bitingly.

"Yeah, that." Hyde released her and gazed pleadingly into her eyes. "I didn't realise it before but I really put them through a bad time when I married Sam. I don't want them worrying about me again, thinking I've made an even bigger mess than last time." Jackie's mutinous pout wavered under his appeal. "Please, Jackie."

The door bell rang again insistently. "Well… alright. But just so we're clear I'm doing this for them, not for you !"

"Thank you, Jacks," Hyde said with relief.

"Hey, are either of you dumbasses going to let us in?" Red's angry voice could be heard behind the door.

Hyde took Jackie's hand and tugged her towards the front door. Opening it wide, he greeted the Foremans, winding his arm around Jackie's waist. "Hey, Mr and Mrs Foreman! Welcome to our home."

**A.N. Watch out next week – I am turning up the heat!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**A.N. Hello again and hope you had or are having a good Christmas (time zones – don't get me started!) This chapter however has nothing to do with Christmas, because it's still November. It is kind of inspired by an early episode of Mad About You – might have even been the pilot. I hope you enjoy!**

The good thing about dining with Mrs Foreman when she was excited about something was that there were no awkward conversation gaps; Kitty could be relied on to carry the conversation for all of them.

"…and I told Steven that Red and I had to meet our honorary daughter-in-law at once and welcome her to the family," Kitty babbled as she poured gravy over her potatoes.

"Kitty, we've known Jackie since she started dating that kettlehead, Kelso" Red reminded as he carved off a chunk of steak. "How could we 'meet' her?"

"Red, that is beside the point. We didn't know her as Steven's wife then and she wasn't the mother of our first grandchild, either." Kitty wriggled in her seat in anticipation. "Jackie, I want to know everything! Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? Have you felt it move yet? Is your doctor happy with your progress?" When Kitty actually stopped talking for more than 2 seconds Jackie realised she was expecting a response.

"Oh, well, I'm going to wait to find out, there's been no movement yet and the doctor is happy enough," Jackie replied.

A snort came from Hyde's end of the table. "Happy enough! That's not the impression I got."

"Steven," Jackie said warningly.

"What do you mean?" Kitty asked in concern.

"What the doctor actually said was Jackie needs to rest more and stop putting so many demands on her body."

"Steven, don't start this again," Jackie snapped. "You know I'm doing the best I can."

"I don't call working 12 hour days and all that dancing around I see you do on screen as the best you can," Hyde retorted. This issue was obviously a long-standing bone of contention between the couple.

"Jackie, you should listen to Steven," Kitty counselled a fuming Jackie. "He is only trying to take care of you, like a good husband should."

"What I want to know is why you two have been keeping this whole marriage and baby thing a secret," Red interrupted. He pointed his knife at Jackie. "Why the hell is this the first we're hearing about it?"

Jackie turned to Hyde with a smarmy smile. "Would you like to field this one, _honey_?"

"Yeah, well, Jackie wants to keep the baby and the wedding under wraps for the time being – you know how it is, being in the limelight. I was just trying to respect her wishes." He turned to Jackie and raised his glass to her. "Right, sweetheart?"

Jackie fake-smiled back at him. "Your consideration for my wishes defies belief."

"Now, Jackie, you have to tell me all about this new job of yours," Kitty pressed. "From what I've seen you make a wonderful children's show host."

"Oh, have you seen my show?"

"She saw one episode," Red interposed. "Then when she realised that Happy Hour wasn't a show about mixing new cocktails, she lost interest."

"So come on, tell me what it's like working in television! I haven't talked to you in over a month and even when you called me you were more interested in orange juice than telling me about your new career."

"What?" Hyde sat at attention. "What's this about orange juice?"

Jackie threw an uneasy glance his way. "It's nothing," she said. "Anyway, my work is really interesting and I've been getting excellent feedback – "

"Hold on right there," Hyde ordered. "Mrs Foreman, tell me all about this conversation you and Jackie had."

Mrs Foreman was a little surprised but obligingly replied, "It was the strangest thing. Jackie wanted to know all about my special orange juice. I told her that I was the only one who could drink it because, you know, it has special vitamins for women." She looked pointedly at Red and Hyde. "_All_ the men in my household know better than to touch my juice."

"You don't have to worry about that," Red said. "One sip of that girly juice and I might start acting like Eric."

Hyde stood up from the table and gave his wife a hard look. "Jackie, why don't you join me in the kitchen and give me a hand with the dessert?"

"I think it would be more fitting for me to stay here and entertain our guests," she replied with a nervous smile.

Hyde smiled back and leaned down beside her chair to whisper in her ear. "Jackie, you can either walk into that kitchen on your own two legs or be carried there over my shoulder, kicking and screaming. Your choice."

Jackie's face flushed at the image. "If you'll excuse me," she said a little stiffly and walked into the kitchen with Hyde's hand at her back.

When they were alone she spun around to face him. "Where the hell do you get off threatening to embarrass me like that?"

"Where do I get off?" Hyde said indignantly. "Oh no, you're not turning this around on me! You've known for over a month that I never set out to get you drunk and you never said anything to me! You let me go on thinking you still thought I was some kind of date-rapist." Hyde's anger was made all the more intense by the need to keep his voice down so the Foremans wouldn't hear.

Jackie had the grace to look guilty, but shrugged it off. "So I got one detail wrong. It doesn't change the fact that you set out to seduce me just to prove to your friends what a pushover I am."

"You know, I'm getting pretty sick of having you tell me what my motives are." Hyde moved purposefully towards Jackie, who backed away from him until she was stopped by the kitchen table. He placed his hands flat on the table, one on each side of body, as he spoke in a quietly dangerous voice that sent shivers through her body. "Like I stayed with Sam because I loved her. Or I burned you all the time because it gave me some kind of sadistic pleasure. Or I let you leave me because I didn't want you. And all the other bullshit worst case scenarios you've been handing me."

Jackie was having a hard time concentrating on what he was saying when his body was so close to hers. "Steven, I think we should get back to our – "

"Just tell me, Jackie, what do I have to do to prove to you that you're the only girl I've ever… God, Jacks, you used to know what I was feeling before I did. How can you read me so wrong?"

"Because I don't trust my own instincts anymore," Jackie cried. "It's like as soon as I get to a place where I think I can depend on another human being and trust them with my heart, then they'll run off to California or get sent to jail for embezzlement or marry a stripper." Jackie placed her palms on Hyde's chest and pushed him away. "I can't do it anymore! I can't keep giving huge pieces of my heart away only to turn around and find there's nothing left. I won't let myself love you again, Steven, I won't!"

Hyde stared at Jackie, her face flushed with defiance.

"Fine, hold onto your grudges," he bit back. "But I've got two things to say to you; one, I'm not paying for Kelso's and your dad's mistakes. And two, the reason I threw that party for you was because I wanted to get you back, not to prove anything to my friends. You, a pushover? You are the most stubborn, unyielding, hard-headed female I have ever had the bad luck to know. You are the total opposite of a pushover."

"Oh yeah?" was Jackie's witty rejoinder, too infuriated to come up with anything better.

"Yeah."

It happened like lightning. One moment the two angry young people were staring murderously at the other, the next their hands were grabbing, their mouths hungrily seeking, their bodies feverishly rubbing. Hyde's hands cupped Jackie's bottom, lifting her so she was sitting on the table, her dangling legs parted for his torso to fit between. _This is crazy_, Jackie thought. She would stop him soon, very soon, but then his teeth dragged over her earlobe, his thumb brushed expertly over her nipple and all thoughts of appropriate behaviour went out the window.

It was only when she found herself lying flat on the table with Steven's body on top of hers and his fingers hooked around her underwear that she managed to gasp "Steven – the Foremans…"

"Shit," he cursed. "Wait here – don't move." Hyde ran to the kitchen door and poked his head outside. "Um, so how are you guys doing?"

"We'd be doing better if we had that dessert you promised," Red grumbled.

"About the dessert. You see, we're just making – uh – some chocolate chip cookies for you."

"Oooh, sounds delicious," Kitty approved.

"Oh, it will be. Jackie is just about to start mixing the dough now. The butter is kind of hard so she needs my help with the mixing part. Anyhow, if you hear any strange noises, that's just Jackie and me – making cookies."

"Alright," Kitty said. Then she started to stand up. "How about I come and join you? I have a lot of experience making cookies."

"NO!" Hyde yelled. "That is… we feel this is something we need to do on our own. We'll just be 10 minutes." Hyde looked over his shoulder into the kitchen. "Make that 15," he amended.

Hyde closed the door and turned back to his wife, still lying on the table but propped up on her elbows now. "Cookies, Steven?" she smirked.

"Hey, you can't smirk at me," he objected, taking long strides toward her. "That's my thing!" Jackie gave a low laugh but when he climbed on top of her she started to look uncertain.

"Steven," she warned him, "this isn't going to change anything, you know."

"Jackie," he replied as his mouth gravitated towards hers, "this works better when you don't talk."

_Ten minutes later…_

"Oh my," Kitty remarked to her husband. "That butter must have been straight out of the fridge. It sounds like it's taking quite a pounding in there."

Red looked at the kitchen door, behind which came sounds of creaking furniture. Then he looked back to his innocent wife. "C'mon, Kitty, lets watch some TV in the living room until they're finished. I've got a feeling those cookies are going to take a while."

"I really think they should have accepted my offer of help," Kitty fretted. "Jackie has always made Steven's cookies too hard." Red stifled a guffaw at this which he turned into a cough.

"Never mind," he said, his arm squeezing her shoulders. "You can make some cookies for me later."

It was thirty minutes later when the young married couple sheepishly sought out the old married couple, their clothing somewhat rumpled from all their 'baking'. "I'm so sorry we took so long," Jackie apologised. "Those – er – cookies took longer than we planned."

"Yeah, we got a little carried away with the baking," Hyde acknowledged, barely hiding his satisfied grin. "Twice."

"Well, where are our sweets?" Kitty asked expectantly.

"Your what?" Jackie asked blankly. "Oh, the cookies! Yes, well, funny thing – when they came out of the oven they were hard as stones."

"I knew it," Kitty muttered to Red.

"But I have some ice cream in the freezer. I'll just go and get it."

Hyde studied Jackie's retreating rear view. "I should probably help her…" he said, starting to follow his wife until Red grabbed him by the arm.

"No you don't!" He fixed Hyde with a knowing look. "You go back into that kitchen and I'll never get my dessert."

…………………………………………………………………..

"Explain to me again how you and I came to be sharing a bed tonight?" Jackie asked as she jerked the bedcovers back from her queen size bed.

"C'mon, Jackie! We couldn't say to the Foremans 'no, you can't have the spare room, instead you should make that three hour drive home late at night on dark roads'."

"Yeah, right. I'm sure you're all broken up by the way things have turned out." Jackie slipped beneath the covers of her bed, Hyde joining her.

"Hey, if you don't feel comfortable with me in your bed, we could always go back to the kitchen. I'm sure that table has a few good turns left in it."

Jackie rolled her eyes, but when Hyde slipped his arm around her she did not move away. She had had a feeling it would be dangerous thing if she gave in to her sexual craving for Steven Hyde. He was like potato chips – once you started you just had to finish the whole bag. "Steven," she said softly as he drew her against his side.

"Jackie," he breathed as his mouth closed in on her parted lips.

"Oh!!!" she cried in shock, her hands flying towards her belly. Steven jumped.

"What's wrong?" he panicked.

"It moved!" Jackie turned a beaming face towards Hyde. "Steven, I just felt the baby move."

"What? Are you sure?" Hyde was thrown. The idea that there was another person moving around inside of Jackie – it was more mind-blowing than the freakiest trip he'd ever experienced, even that one with the weed Foreman brought back from Africa. "Let me feel it – is it still moving?"

"No, not right now – wait – oh, it did it again." Jackie leaned down and spoke to her belly. "Yes, that's my clever baby."

"I can't feel anything," Hyde protested, his hands pressed onto Jackie's abdomen.

"You won't be able to feel anything for probably another month. I can only feel it moving on the inside, not on the outside."

"What does it feel like?" Hyde asked curiously, his hands gently stroking her small baby bump.

"Kind of like this little flutter, almost a tickle," Jackie said dreamily. Hyde looked into her face; her expression was so open and happy, just the way she used to be when things were well between them, that he ventured to chance the delicate balance they lived upon.

"Jackie," he said haltingly, "Can you believe me now when I tell you that I'm sorry for the way that I've hurt you in the past?"

Jackie's smile subsided as she absorbed Hyde's words. Finally, after the longest pause of Hyde's life, she said "Yes."

Hyde let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Thank you, God." He kissed her unresisting mouth before continuing "And you believe me when I say that I'll never hurt you like that again, right?" This time the pause stretched on forever. "Jackie?"

"That one's going to take a little more work," Jackie admitted.

"Jackie, listen to me, I'm ready for it now," Hyde said urgently. "Marriage, kids – I see you in my future – I need you there, baby, for the rest of my life. I know you want those things too. If you'll just let me – "

Jackie clapped her hand over his mouth to stop him talking. "Steven, I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I've got so many pressures on me at the moment what with this baby and my job…"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying – can't we just take this one day at a time? Let's just see how things go. We don't have to plan out our whole futures right now, do we?"

Hyde stared at Jackie, wondering if this was a burn. Her words were a disturbing reminder to him of what he had told her the last time they had gotten back together with the aid of Fez's 'couples counselling'.

_Jackie, let's agree not to talk about the future and just live in the moment. Trying to tie me down is just going to lead to trouble._

He looked for the smirk which would tell him this was all a comedic pay-back and any moment she would pull a 'gotcha'. But her face was serious and his heart dropped as he realised how badly he had damaged her trust in him. He knew she was not saying these things to hurt him. The way she was feeling was the consequence of his actions towards her. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"OK, Jackie. We'll play it your way for now," he sighed.

"Thank you," she said gratefully as she squeezed his hand with hers. The physical contact reminded Hyde that he may not have gotten everything he wanted from this night, but he was light years ahead of where he had started from.

"So, just to make things clear," he asked, pulling her closer, "what kind of… benefits does living each day as it comes give me?"

Jackie wrapped her leg around his and gave him her best sex-kitten smile. "How about full cookie-making privileges?"

"Chocolate chip?" Hyde asked, his hands sneaking underneath her nightgown.

"Double choc chip," Jackie assured him.

Hyde considered this. "That's cool," he agreed. Then he reached over and turned off the light.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**A.N. New chapter – here is some drama for you. As always, reviews are not essential but much appreciated.**

_8__th__ December 1980_

_8.55 am, Happy Hour set, Chicago_

"Oh, hell," Jackie cursed, staring at her fingers.

"What now?" Bernard shuffled over in his purple bearskin to see what was wrong with Jackie's hand.

"I did it again!" Jackie held up her right hand which displayed her engagement and wedding ring. "I keep forgetting to take these off when I leave the apartment."

"Hmmm. You are repeatedly forgetting to remove the symbols of your lifelong commitment to Hyde. I wonder what Freud would have made of that."

"Don't start on me, Bernard. I'm already bearing Steven's child – I think that's enough lifelong commitment to last us a while." Bernard surveyed Jackie's pregnant belly which was becoming more obvious every day, in spite of her pinafore-style dress.

"If you ask me, you shouldn't be so shy about your married state. After all, everybody around here knows you're pregnant. What's the point in getting married to 'cover your shame' if you won't even admit to it?"

Jackie scowled. She didn't like having her irrationality examined too closely. All she knew was that whereas there had been a time when the notion of introducing herself to people as Jackie Hyde, Steven Hyde's wife, was her favourite daydream, now the idea was suffocating. Maybe she and Hyde would be able to work things out, but she needed to keep plenty of loopholes and escape routes handy in case they did not. She would not be hurt again.

Although that did not explain why she kept forgetting to take her rings off.

"What is this, the 18th century? Can't a girl have a baby on her own these days without having to sew a scarlet letter on her clothes? If some narrow-minded people can't deal with an empowered woman taking control of her own life, then they can – "

"Alright, alright, spare me the feminist fireworks," Bernard capitulated. "C'mon, we should take our places. It's almost 9."

When Jackie stood up from her chair, her face paled and she grabbed onto Bernard's arm. He immediately steadied her and turned concerned eyes toward her. "Jackie, are you OK?"

Jackie drew a deep breath and the white spots that danced in front of her eyes faded away. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just stood up too quickly, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," Jackie assured, shaking off his supporting grip. "Come on, we've got a show to do." When Bernard still looked worried, she distracted him by asking "Hey, how was your date with Brooke last night? Round any bases?"

Bernard pokered up in aristocratic offence. "Don't be ridiculous! Last night was just two friends going out for a friendly dinner. As friends. There's no need for crass remarks."

"So I take it the dozen long stemmed roses you gave her were just friendly flowers, then?"

"She told you about the roses? What did she say?" Bernard asked a little too eagerly.

"Now Bernard, that's between friends." Jackie slid by him with a demure smile and took her place in front of the camera.

"Good morning, children! Does anyone know what time it is?"

_9.00 am, Grooves Record Store, Point Place_

"…It's Happy Hour!" the perky image of Jackie announced from the small television set gracing Hyde's counter. Alone in his store, Hyde allowed himself a smile at the sight of her face. It had been four days since he had last seen her in person and he found himself craving her company so fiercely that watching her kiddie program had become the highlight of his working day. Well, that and talking to her on the telephone each night. But neither was any substitute for the real thing.

So engrossed was he in watching the set that he did not notice when a man walked through his door, not until he said "Now there's an interesting choice of TV programming. Are you going after the under-5 music market now, Steven?"

"W.B.!" Hyde quickly reached over and turned the volume down on the television. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Ah, just the right words to reassure your backer that his store is in safe hands," W.B. peeled off his fur-lined gloves. "A team of shoplifters could have cleaned this place out and you wouldn't even notice. In fact, I think there is something missing. Where's that moth-eaten hippy who's usually haunting the premises? If someone were to smuggle him out of here, I wouldn't be pressing any charges."

"Leo just went out to buy a pack of gum," Hyde explained. "So he should be back soon. Or possibly next March. You never know with him."

"Right. So anyhow why are you so into children's television these days?"

Hyde said nothing but turned the television around to face W.B. When his father saw the diminutive brunette on screen, he said, "Oh, I see. So, how are things going between you two?" Hyde had given W.B. the scoop on his nuptials soon after the event. He had felt it easier to confide in him than the Foremans, seeing as how W.B. was just the right blend of parental figure and detached stranger.

"Yeah, things are going pretty good," Hyde said with a nod. "I mean, it's not smooth sailing yet but we're getting there."

"Jackie can be a handful, huh?" W.B. said with a knowing wink. "I can remember how demanding she was when she wasn't pregnant. I'm guessing that she must keep you on your toes around the clock now that she's expecting."

"Yeah, you know Jackie," Hyde said unconvincingly.

"I remember when Angie's mother was carrying her, I never had a moment to myself. It was always 'William, will you go to the store and get me some rocky road ice-cream' or 'William, will you rub my feet' or 'William, do I look fat'. That last one was a minefield, I can tell you. Never give an honest answer to that one, whatever you do." Hyde looked so depressed after W.B. finished reminiscing that his father said, "What am I doing? Here you are in your sanctuary from needy pregnant females and I go and remind you of it all."

"Actually, Jackie's not really like that," Hyde said. "She doesn't ask me for much of anything."

"Oh." W.B. did not know how to respond to that.

"Except for sex," Hyde amended. "She likes sex."

"Oh. Well, that's good, right? Every husband's dream come true."

"You'd think so," Hyde agreed. He turned towards the TV which was still muted and gazed on his wife's animated face as she read a storybook to her audience. "Now this is a dream come true," Hyde said. "Being able to stop Jackie talking just by turning a dial." In spite of his joke, Hyde reached over and turned the volume back up; he suddenly needed to hear her voice.

"…and then the evil stepmother disguised as a poor old woman offered Snow White the poisoned apple…"

"I understand her show is doing very well," W.B. remarked.

"Yeah, but she's working too hard at it," Hyde complained. "I'm trying to talk her into finishing up early and taking it easy but she won't listen to me."

"She does look rather pale," W.B. agreed, peering at the screen.

"'…looks delicious,' Snow White said and bit into the apple," Jackie continued. "When all at once Snow White… Snow White fell…" Jackie faltered and then the storybook dropped from her hands as she collapsed to the ground.

"That's not part of the show, is it?" W.B. asked quietly as Hyde turned white as a sheet.

Hyde stared at the television, willing Jackie to spring up, laughing at having fooled everybody, but all he saw was a giant teddybear trying to revive her. Jackie was as lifeless as Snow White herself.

"I've got to go," Hyde said unsteadily.

"I'll take care of the store," W.B. promised. "Call me as soon as you know her condition." Hyde nodded distractedly and ran towards the exit. "Steven," W.B. called, and he turned to his father. "She's going to be alright, son." Hyde nodded again, and then ran to the El Camino which was about to set a new record for broken speed limits.

_9.10 am, Brooke's apartment, Chicago_

When Brooke heard her front door bell, she turned to her little girl who was staring mesmerised at the television.

"You stay here, Betsy-girl. Mama is just going to see who's at the door."

"Jaggy," the baby crowed, pointing at the screen.

"That's right, sweetheart. You listen to Aunt Jackie read you a story from the TV." She then walked to the door, a smile lurking at the corners of her mouth as she passed the roses overflowing from a vase on the hallway table.

"Michael," she said blankly when she realised who was on her doorstep. "What are you doing here?"

Kelso flashed his cockiest smile. "I was told to take the day off so I thought I'd come over and visit my two best girls."

"Told to take the day off? Is that your way of saying you're in trouble again?" Brooke stepped aside to let Kelso into her apartment.

"Trouble? Of course not." Brooke gave him the piercing stare which Jackie had taught her for Kelso situations. "OK, there may have been a slight misunderstanding involving Miss November's sunscreen getting mixed up with baby oil, but it was an easy mistake to make. And I'll tell you something, Brooke, a girl who now looks like a lobster shouldn't go making personal remarks about other people."

Brooke shook her head. "Michael, if you carry on like this they're going to fire you."

"Don't be silly, Brooke. Where would the Playboy Mansion find a security guard with one-tenth of my foxitude?" Kelso scoffed. "So where's my little girl?"

"She's watching Happy Hour in the living room."

"Really? That means she won't miss us for the next 15 minutes. Hey, want to relive those magical Molly Hatchet bathroom stall memories?" Kelso grinned.

"We wouldn't need 15 minutes for that," Brooke said snidely. "5 would be plenty."

"Alright! We'll go for 3 times," Kelso cheered.

"Michael, no!"

"Awww, why not?" Kelso whined. Then he started sniffing the air. "What's that smell?" He turned towards the source. "Hey, who's giving you roses?"

Brooke felt her cheeks heat. "A friend of mine."

Kelso folded his arms and favoured her with his jealous pout. "Friends don't give red roses. Those are the flowers a guy gives to a girl he wants to do it with."

"Really?" Brooke eyes brightened at this piece of information.

Kelso was opening his mouth to make some indignant noise when the adults' conversation was interrupted by the wailing cry of their daughter. The little girl toddled into the hallway, tears running down her face.

"Betsy baby, what's wrong?" Kelso crooned, sweeping the little girl into his arms.

"Jaggy fall down," Betsy sobbed, burying her face in his neck.

"What did she say?" Kelso asked Brooke.

"She said Jackie…" Brooke and Kelso shared a moment of realisation as they both ran into the living room, just in time to see Bernard lifting Jackie's unconscious body before the television blanked into a screen that apologised for 'technical difficulties'.

"My car's just out front," Kelso said in his rarely used serious voice.

"We can drop Betsy off at my mother's on the way to the hospital," Brooke said, striding towards the front door. Kelso stayed behind for a moment, staring at the television in shock, until Brooke called his name and he bolted after her.

_9.45 am, Madison University, Eric and Donna's apartment_

It is hard to keep a secret from someone when you are living with them in a shoebox of an apartment, Eric Foreman reflected. Luckily, Donna had become so fed up with all his Star Wars paraphernalia that his 'Jedi Treasure Chest' was the perfect place to keep anything secretive. Such as a letter from the Department of Immigration. He only just managed to slip the letter between the pages of a graphic novel of The Empire Strikes Back when his girlfriend stormed into the room, her blonde hair practically standing out from her head, so palpable was her wrath.

"What the hell is wrong with the girls at this damn college?" she fumed. "Every single one of them has a stick up their ass! You think you've finally found one who's halfway cool and then all of a sudden it's Hello! Mind the pole shooting out of my butt." Donna threw her books down onto the table with a crash.

"I take it your lunch date with Chelsea didn't go well?" Eric ventured.

"Oh, it went fine until she turned into a heinous bitch," Donna spat. "Just because some jock freshman she liked came over to us and started talking about how he was a big fan of my old Hot Donna show. I mean, can I help it if I have a following?"

Eric sighed. He could imagine what had happened. The starry-eyed boy would have gushed his admiration and Donna would have soaked it up like a thirsty sponge, ignoring her new friend. He had seen it before.

"I don't understand," Donna went on, "why is it all the girls I meet turn out to be just like Jackie."

"How so?" Eric asked. "I would have thought she was one of a kind."

"Don't be fooled, her kind is everywhere," Donna griped. "Narcissistic attention-seekers who think the world revolves around them. Then when you accidentally hurt their precious feelings, they just turn their back on you." Eric detected a change in tone with that last phrase – it seemed to change from angry to forlorn.

When Jackie had blasted Donna on that fateful morning, Donna had shrugged it off as more of Jackie's histrionics made worse by a bad hangover. She had expected after a few days Jackie would be phoning her as though nothing had happened, complaining about how the eighties clothes discriminated against the petite. But days turned to weeks without word from the pint-sized princess. It was when Donna found out that Jackie was pregnant via the letter to Hyde that she finally realised she had lost her best friend. It hurt more than she would have thought possible that Jackie had not turned to her when she first found herself in that crisis. As always in such a situation, there are two directions hurt can go; honest self-examination or angry denial. Guess which one the ever-faultless Donna had chosen.

"You know, Hyde gave me Jackie's phone number if you wanted to give her a call."

Donna turned up her nose at the idea. "I have nothing to say to her."

"Donna, she's your best friend. Don't throw that away out of pride." Donna continued to look mulish. "After all, you could try looking at things from her view-point. Those things she said about how you never took her side – don't you think she might have had kind of a point?"

"What? How can you say that? Why – why, I asked her to live with me when she had nowhere to go."

"Yeah, but with obvious reluctance."

"But I did it! And what about all those times she cried on my shoulder after Kelso or Hyde broke her heart? And that time I saved her from getting hustled by that fake modelling agency? And the time – "

"Alright, fine, you've been a good friend to her for the main part. But Donna, can you name a single time when you stood up for Jackie against Kelso or Hyde or Fez or me?"

Donna opened her mouth to challenge but no words came out. She frowned in thought. "Well, I was going to tell her about Kelso cheating when I first found out," she said. "But Hyde talked me out of it."

"And since when is Hyde a moral compass?" Eric said derisively.

Donna stood up and crossed over to the radio. "I'm tired of this stupid argument. I need to mellow out and listen to some good tunes." Donna turned the radio on.

"…and in late breaking news," the newsreader announced, "popular children's entertainer, Jackie Burkhart, has been rushed to Chicago County Hospital after collapsing on her television show, Happy Hour, earlier this morning."

"Oh my God," Eric cried. Donna stood with her hand on the tuner, frozen in shock.

"The young celebrity who, according to close sources, is 5 months pregnant, had not regained consciousness at the time of this update."

"Eric," Donna whimpered, tears standing in her eyes.

"Come on," Eric said, grabbing his coat and handing Donna hers. "Let's go."

_10.35 am, Point Place Beauty Salon_

Fez dried his hands on a towel as he surveyed his small shampooing kingdom. He had just finished with Mrs Fittleton so now it was time for the latest fortunate female to benefit from his talented fingers.

"Ah, Mrs Goldman! How are you today?" he suavely inquired of the fifty-something matron who was now giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Oh, I'm just peachy, Mr Fez," she simpered.

"Come, my darling, and let me escort you to the throne of hair washing pleasure," Fez said grandly. He had just finished the second wash and was reaching for the conditioner when Point Place's pre-eminent gossip-monger, Bessy Hamilton, threw the salon door open with a dramatic flourish.

"Girls, you will never guess what I just heard about one of Point Place's own local celebrities," she announced.

"Oh, you mean Crazy Barry from the used car ads? Yes, I've already heard about his second wife in Omaha," Mrs Goldman said. "Really, he must have been crazy to think he could get away with bigamy with that hatchet-faced terrier he's married to."

Bessy Hamilton dismissed Crazy Barry with a wave of her hand. "Oh, my dear, that's old news! No, I was just watching the news when I found out Jackie Burkhart – you remember, the daughter of Councillor Burkhart who embezzled all that money? – yes, well she has collapsed!"

"What?" Fez cried.

"Right in the middle of her show!" Mrs Hamilton continued, pleased with the effect her announcement was making. "And it's a children's show, too. I hate to think of all those precious little angels seeing that. I mean, if she dies think of how traumatised they will be!"

"Is she going to be alright?" Fez asked frantically.

"Well, I don't know, last I heard she was in hospital. Chicago County, I think it was."

That was enough for Fez. He flew out of the salon so fast he left nothing but a cloud of hair sweepings in his wake.

"Wait, what about my hair?" Mrs Goldman cried after him. She turned to Bessy. "I think he's left conditioner in my hair."

Bessy Hamilton tutted sympathetically. "Well, he is a foreigner, you know. They are so erratic. Say, did you know Jackie Burkhart is pregnant as well?"

"Fancy that! I wonder who the father is?"

"Lord knows. Probably swept off her feet by some television star."

"Ooh, I hope it was that nice Tom Selleck," Mrs Goldman said. "That moustache of his could tickle my upper lip any day."

"Why, Helen Goldman! What would Ezra say?"

Mrs Goldman giggled naughtily. "Oh, he's had plenty of benefits from my little fantasies, if you know what I mean."

The two middle-aged ladies cackled merrily together as a dark skinned young man tore up the main street of Point Place, headed for the Illinois interstate.


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N. Another chapter – I rewrote the ending of this chapter because I felt Jackie needed to stop being so hard on Hyde. Also I found a way to twist the way they played the same song for Jackie's first kisses in the zennie favour. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed my story; it encourages me to keep typing.**

Chapter 12

Jackie's first thought when she opened her eyes was _when did I redecorate my bedroom in white?_ Then as her skin registered the scratchy cotton of the substandard hospital sheets, she realised that this was not some innocent nap she was waking from.

"Jackie?" She turned her head to see Bernard's worried face, her friend still wearing the purple teddybear costume (sans head).

"Bernie?" she answered, and he was so relieved to see her awake he did not even correct her use of his despised nickname. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You're at County. You fainted this morning but you're going to be OK," Bernard replied, taking her hand.

"My baby," Jackie cried, her eyes widening in fear. "Is my baby – "

"The baby's fine, Jackie," Bernard soothed. "They did an ultrasound while you were unconscious and over there you'll see a second heart monitor is keeping dibs on the little guy." Jackie knew a moment of overwhelming relief at this news, made even stronger when she felt an insistent foot kicking at her bladder.

"Thank God," she breathed. "If anything had happened to – wait a second. Little guy? Bernard, what exactly did you see on that ultrasound?"

"Uh… oh, yeah, you were going to wait to find out, weren't you?"

"Bernie, you blurter!" She let the knowledge sink in. "Wow! A boy. I didn't see that coming but now that I know, it just seems right." Then Jackie wrinkled her forehead in thought. "I don't remember coming here – was I out for long?"

"You could say that. I was starting to think you were taking that whole 'Snow White' story way too seriously. If you hadn't come to I would have gone looking for a handsome prince to wake you up."

"Did someone call my name?" Kelso strode through the hospital door with Brooke. "Because I am ready and willing for any kissing services."

"Michael, what are you doing here?" Jackie asked in surprise.

"Yes, that's a good question," Bernard muttered. "A better one is why are you with Brooke."

"We saw you pass out on your show and came straight over," Brooke explained. She shot a quick look at Bernard. "Michael had just dropped by to see Betsy."

"You saw it happen?" Jackie cried.

"Jackie, the whole of Illinois saw it happen," Bernard replied. "Collapsing on live TV while pregnant – you've made headlines everywhere, kid."

"Headlines?" Jackie repeated. "Oh hell. Brewster's not going to like that."

"Don't fret about it, Jackie. It would take a heartless, inhuman monster to hold you to blame for this." Bernard and Jackie shared a look of realisation. "I'll go find security and tell them not to let him up here."

"Too late," Jackie sighed as they heard the unmistakable commotion of Conway Brewster barging his way down the hospital corridor.

"What do you mean only friends and relatives are allowed up here? I'm her employer, you white-coated bureaucrat! She's in this hospital on _my _time and I can visit her whenever I damn well feel like it!" A moment later Brewster stood in the hospital room's doorway, his eyebrows slanted downwards in bad temper.

"Hey, boss," Jackie and Bernard greeted feebly.

"Don't you 'Hey, boss' me," Brewster barked at Jackie. "What the hell do you think you were doing, passing out on live television? Do you have any idea how bad that makes me look?"

Jackie and Bernard shared a speaking look. Of course Brewster would find a way to make this all about him.

"It wasn't really what I was planning for my day," Jackie tried to reason. "It just happened."

"Just happened! Well, it just happens that reporters are hassling me about overworking my pregnant employees to the point of collapse! Can you believe that?!"

"Yes, well, I don't think the long hours were exactly helping me along," Jackie suggested.

"Whoa," Kelso exclaimed. "Jackie's boss is kind of a dillhole, isn't he?"

"That's the understatement of the year," Brooke replied.

"There's too much molly-coddling in the American health care system," Brewster continued. "Now South American women – they know how to have children. They're working out in the fields, they feel the contractions come on, they wait until their lunch hour to drop the brat like a responsible employee. Then before you know it, they're back to picking beans for my morning coffee." Blank stares were his response. "What? I saw it on PBS just last night."

"You mean that Oxfam special?" Brooke queried with a frown. "The one where they were asking people to send in donations to help stop exploitation and poverty?"

"I don't know. I switch channels when people ask me for money. Anyhow, there's only one way to deal with this negative publicity, Burkhart. I want to see you on the set first thing tomorrow morning, ready to get back to work."

"Tomorrow?" Jackie said incredulously. "I don't think I'll be all better by tomorrow."

"Pish! We'll just get the make-up department to give you some extra blush and you'll be a picture of health. Then when the public sees you back in the saddle, they'll know that today's little incident was nothing serious." Brewster levelled a finger at Jackie. "Don't forget our deal, Burkhart. We agreed you'd work until Christmas or else don't bother coming back next year."

"That suits us fine," Hyde said, as he entered the hospital room.

"Steven!" Jackie was filled with foreboding as Hyde measured her boss with curled lip. The last time these two had confronted each other it had almost come to blows. Now she was in the middle of the most delicate career negotiation of her life, she had a feeling adding her over-protective husband to the mix was not a good idea.

"Hey, Hyde," Kelso greeted. "Did you see Jackie collapse?" When Hyde grunted a "yeah", Kelso cried "Ha! You were watching a kid's show! Burn!"

Hyde ignored his idiot friend and focused on Jackie's boss, the reason why his wife had collapsed and scared him right off his zen. "Jackie is finished working for you, you demented slavedriver! You ever come near her again, it'll be you that ends up in a hospital bed."

"Steven!" Jackie shouted. "Don't you dare quit my job for me! I can make my own career decisions, thank you very much!"

"Are you for real?" Hyde shouted back. "Your 'career decisions' have landed you in the hospital! You've not only endangered your own health but my kid's."

"Don't worry about that," Bernard chipped in. "He's doing great."

"He? It's a boy?" Hyde was dumbstruck at this news.

"Enough with the blurting, you lavender lunkhead!" Jackie turned to Hyde. "Look, we don't even know why I fainted yet." Just then a doctor walked in, flipping through Jackie's chart. "You're my doctor, right? Could you please reassure my paranoid husband that I am perfectly fine and this fainting thing was just some freaky one-time deal?" Jackie batted her eyes winningly.

"Actually, judging from your blood pressure, low blood sugar, and the stress test we ran on your heart, all signs point to physical exhaustion," the doctor replied.

"OK, this doctor sucks," Jackie decided.

"Ha! I knew it!" Hyde accused. "I knew you were working too hard!"

Brewster sidled up to the doctor. "So what are you saying, Doc? How long before she can come back to work?"

"I strongly advise Miss Burkhart to cease working and concentrate on taking it easy for the remainder of her pregnancy."

"Oh, come on! Surely there's some pills she could take to give her a boost. Feel free to get creative here, Doc, she's fully insured."

"Right, that does it," Hyde growled, stepping towards Brewster. But Jackie had grabbed onto the back of his shirt and was holding him back.

"Steven, shut the hell up," she ordered. Then she turned to her tyrannical boss. "You know, I have taken a lot of crap from you over the last 5 months because I thought I needed this job to give my baby a future. But when you come in here and try to bully me into endangering my baby's life – that's going too far. So here's how it's going to be – I'm finishing my season here and now, two weeks early. Then I'll come back next year like we planned and be the best damn children's show host you've ever seen."

"Is that right?" Brewster said.

"Damn straight," Bernard added, stepping forward. "Jackie and I are a team, Mr Brewster. If she goes, I go."

"Oh, Bernie," Brooke breathed, her eyes shining with admiration.

"Speaking of going," Hyde said, grabbing Brewster by his shirt collar, "Sayonara!" and he threw the autocrat out the door. A loud crash, like someone colliding with a hospital food trolley, resounded from the corridor.

"You'll regret this, Burkhart!" he yelled from behind the closed door. Then; "Oh my God, what are they feeding the people in this place?"

"Damn it, Steven! If you keep assaulting my boss it's going to put a real strain on our working relationship," Jackie complained.

"Jackie, I meant what I said. You're not working for that creep anymore."

"Oh really? What right do you have – "

"I'm your husband!"

"For now!" Jackie snapped, but then felt instantly guilty when she saw the look in Hyde's eyes. "Steven – "

"Jackie!" a familiar voice cried as a tall blonde whirlwind ran into the room. "Are you alright?"

"Donna?" Jackie replied, sounding a little unsure that it was Donna. It had been a long time since she had seen her former best friend look so upset. _Well, not about someone else_, she amended.

"What happened?" Eric asked, turning to Hyde. "We heard on the radio that Jackie passed out and hadn't regained consciousness."

"Exhaustion. The doctor here says she's been pushing herself too hard," Hyde answered with a pointed look at Jackie.

"Hyde, how could you let Jackie work so hard?" Donna said accusingly as she held tightly onto the fallen brunette's hand. "You should have been looking after her."

"Yeah, Hyde," Kelso chimed in. "You have to watch out for your partner when she's pregnant. Like when Brooke was carrying Betsy, I made sure the bicycle I got to take her to her doctor's appointment was in top working order with extra sturdy handlebars for her to sit on."

"Hey, I've been trying to get her to slow down for months," Hyde defended himself.

"You should have made her," Donna said belligerently.

"Well, I'm taking over now," Hyde said. "She's coming back to Point Place with me and then she's not going to do anything but rest and eat."

"That's a good idea," Eric said. "You and Jackie can move into Laurie's room. My mom's a registered nurse," he told the doctor, who nodded with approval.

"That's good, it's advisable that she be in close proximity to someone with medical training."

"So how soon can I check her out?" Hyde asked the doctor.

"QUIET!" Jackie screamed. She looked around at the shocked faces. "How _dare_ you all stand around and decide my future without asking me? Check her out? What am I, Steven, a piece of luggage?"

"Jackie, we're just trying to take care of you," Donna said soothingly, but Jackie shook off her hand. However, it was another that spoke in her defence.

"She doesn't need you to take care of her." All eyes turned to Brooke as she stood by Jackie's bedside. "She's been taking care of herself for a year now since no-one else was giving a damn about her and she's gotten pretty good at it."

"That's right," Bernard agreed, taking Brooke's hand. "And if she ever does need any extra help, she knows Brooke and I will always be there for her."

Jackie smiled mistily at her two friends. "Oh, you guys are the cutest thing!"

"But," Donna flustered, "I was standing up for Jackie! Against Hyde!"

"By implying that I'm a mindless doll who can't think for myself?" Jackie retorted.

"Well, you did put yourself in hospital," Donna shot back.

Jackie gasped. "Bitch!"

"Excuse me, but all this arguing is not helping my patient," the doctor interjected firmly. "I'm going to have to ask you all to leave."

"But I'm her husband," Hyde objected.

"And I'm her best friend," Donna said.

"No, I'm her best friend," Brooke corrected.

"Oh, you don't want to mess with me, book-girl!"

"Bring it on, lumberjack!"

"Alright! Chick fight!" Kelso cheered.

"Miss Burkhart – "

"Mrs Hyde," Hyde corrected the doctor in a steely voice.

"Mrs Hyde, you can choose one person to stay with you if you like."

Jackie looked around at the eager faces vying for the honour. "Um… I choose… him." She pointed towards the doorway. All eyes turned to the young dark skinned man who was panting like he had just finished a marathon.

"My dear friend Jackie," Fez cried, rushing to her side with arms outstretched. Then he noticed her protruding belly underneath the sheets. "Oh my! You have gotten so round."

Jackie's face fell. "You mean fat."

"No, no, I didn't mean it that way! You will always be a goddess, Jackie. Only now you are a fertility goddess."

"Awww, Fezzy," Jackie smiled. "I have missed you."

"Alright, people, visiting hours are over," the doctor said to the rest of Jackie's posse. Reluctantly they shuffled out of the hospital room.

"Ew, Fez, you smell sweaty," Jackie said with wrinkled nose. "What have you been doing?"

"Ever since I heard of your illness I have been running to get to you," Fez explained. "Except when I was driving. But even then I was running to you in my heart."

"Oh, Fez" Jackie cried, hand over heart.

"Jackie, will you forgive me for failing you when you needed me?" Fez asked. "I have had time to think and I know now that it was not just about the going away party, but a long time before that. I should have told Hyde he was a fool to let Sam stay. And as your friend the only words I should have said to that home-wrecking stripper were "good day!". I let you down, Jackie, and I am so sorry."

"Fez, I forgive you for those things," Jackie said as tears ran down her cheeks. "I forgave you a long time ago. It's me who should be asking your forgiveness."

"For what, my princess?"

"Fez, you were right when you told me I was only imagining myself in love with you because I was at a low point in my life," Jackie confessed. "It's just – I really needed to believe that someone could find my lovable." _Especially at a time when Steven was suddenly available and looking to play more games with my heart_, she thought to herself. "It had been so long since I had felt loved and I thought if anyone could give it to me, the boy who used to idolise me could." Jackie hung her head in shame. "I didn't know it then but I was using you."

"When did you know it?" Fez asked curiously. "When you caught me spying on Eric and Donna?"

"That was just an excuse," Jackie admitted. "I realised it when we had our first kiss on top of the watertower."

"So you felt it too?" Fez cried. "Or rather, didn't feel it?"

"What, you too? Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings again. And, after all, you are hot," Fez said with a shrug.

"You know, that Leo Sayer song was playing when we had our first kiss," Jackie said musingly. "It was the same song that was playing when Steven and I had our first kiss."

"Really?"

"Yeah. How strange that it played for both first kisses, and both times I lied about what I felt."

"Spooky," Fez agreed. "So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Jackie's face fell as she was reminded of her current situation. "The doctor says I've been working too hard."

"And have you?"

"I guess. I just – I couldn't lose this job. Not with a baby on the way. I have to be able to support my son." Fez just looked at her with his liquid brown eyes, radiating sympathy without judgment, so Jackie went on. "But now I have to stop working earlier than I planned which is really going to strain my budget. I was counting on my Christmas bonus to tide me over my maternity leave but now I can kiss that goodbye. And even though Brooke would let me stay with her, I can't live off her like that; she already has Betsy to provide for and librarians don't make that much."

"So? Come back home to Point Place! Then you will not need to worry about money and you will have all your friends to keep you company."

"My friends, huh?" Jackie said morosely. "The same friends who left me to flounder in my misery when Sam came along?"

"No, the same friends who rushed to your side like a cat out of hell when they heard you were sick," Fez said with his signature moody pout.

Jackie looked a little shamefaced at the reminder. She had been so caught up in her anger she had not noticed this detail. "Oh yeah. I guess you guys kind of did that. And it's a bat out of hell, not a cat."

"What would a bat be doing in hell?" Fez asked, confused. "It's cats that have those yellow demon eyes."

Jackie ignored his foreign ramblings. "I guess I should come home. It's what Steven wants and Mrs Foreman is a nurse and so she will be good to have nearby. But… oh, Fez, I don't want to go. That last year I spent there, it's like it has clouded over all the happy memories that came before."

Fez put his arms around his long-lost friend. "I know you, Jackie. You will do what is best for your baby." Jackie sighed, surrendering to the inevitable. Fez hugged her a little tighter. "And I give you my word, by my ancestral fathers' spirit animal, the blue-bottomed gibbon, that when you come back we will make lots of new, happy memories for you." 

As Fez held Jackie in his embrace, Steven Hyde watched from the doorway as his wife turned to another man for comfort. It sent him back in time to another occasion when he had walked in on Jackie with her head on the shoulder of a different ex-boyfriend and the empty feeling was much the same. Even though he knew that this intimacy was friendship, in a way it hurt more than the physical kind because as he looked upon the easy trust Jackie gave to Fez, it drove home to him just what he had lost. With a bleak face, he was about to turn away when he heard her call "Steven." He turned back to see her holding her hand out to him, her face contrite. Slowly he moved towards her. Fez backed away, mumbling something about seeing her tomorrow, and left.

"Steven, I'm sorry," Jackie said as their fingers made contact. Hyde raised a questioning eyebrow.

"For what?"

"What I said before about you being my husband for now… I shouldn't have said that."

Hyde felt his throat burn a little at the reminder of that stabbing remark. "Are you saying you didn't mean it?"

Jackie looked away. "I shouldn't have said it," she repeated. Hyde looked so downcast that she felt her heart break for him, but she did not want to raise false hope. Not when she was still caught in a tug of war between her brain and her heart. "Hey," she said gently, "let's not worry about what's going to happen down the track. Right now we're together and I'm OK and our baby is fine so we shouldn't stress about – "

"Wait," Hyde interrupted. "You said 'our'".

"Huh?"

"The baby," Hyde said. "You usually say 'my baby' like you're calling dibs on it. But you just said 'our baby'."

"Oh, come on Steven," Jackie huffed. "How long did it take you to make your contribution to this baby? Ten minutes? Meanwhile, I have to swell up like a Japanese bloater fish for nine months. I don't think you want to argue possession rights with me!"

Hyde sat down on the bed next to Jackie and put his arm around her. "Alright, firstly it was a lot longer than 10 minutes. And secondly," Hyde grinned sheepishly, "could you say it again?"

Jackie smiled back. "Our baby?"

Hyde stroked his hand over her belly. "Our son."

"Our son," Jackie agreed. Then, as he moved to kiss her, she met him halfway.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**A.N. Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter – I loved how meaty they were, not just one-liners like "Update soon". You guys rock!**

_3 days later, Point Place, Wisconsin_

Red Forman looked around his living room with a feeling of creeping dread, the likes of which he hadn't felt since he cruised commie-infested swamps on a gun-boat in Korea. Chips, dips, Kitty Kuts – it could only mean one thing.

"Alright, Kitty, I'll bite," he said as his wife bustled through the kitchen door with a bowl of punch. "What is _this_ party in aid of? Let me guess, today is the anniversary of the first time Eric caught a ball without dropping it – when was that, about three years ago?"

"Now, Red, you know Eric just isn't made for sports, what with those dainty wrists of his," Kitty reproached.

"Thanks, Mom," Eric said from where he was sitting with Donna and Fez on the couch. "Way to stick up for me."

"This party is to welcome Jackie into our happy home," Kitty explained as she sampled the punch. Her face grimaced. "This punch is missing something. You know, I think it needs a little more rum, just to give it some kick."

"She should switch to her special juice," Fez commented to Donna. "There's a whole freaking football team in that baby."

"Oh, someone is at the door," Kitty cried. "They're here! OK, get ready to yell surprise!"

"Well, this is all starting to feel strangely familiar," Eric mused.

"SURPRISE!" they yelled when the front door opened. Michael Kelso gave a girlish scream of alarm at their greeting, then he laughed goofily.

"Awesome! How did you guys know I was coming?"

"Kelso? What are you doing here?" Donna asked.

"I'm coming back to the police force. I just couldn't leave my friends to face the seedy underbelly of Point Place alone and undefended."

"You got fired from the Playboy job, didn't you?"

Kelso made a petulant face. "Stupid bunnies! I let one little stalker get through while I was chatting up Miss August and suddenly _I'm_ the bad guy!" Kelso looked around at the festively decorated room. "But thanks for the welcome back party, Mrs Foreman. I just stopped by for one of your there-there hugs but this rocks even more."

"This isn't for you, kettlehead," Red said irritably. "Steven is bringing Jackie home from the hospital this morning."

"Oh, yeah, that's right, she's coming to live with you," Kelso remembered. Then he laughed. "Oh man, am I glad I'm not you guys. I mean, living with Jackie would be hard enough when she's just one person, but now that she's two? Simple math says that she's going to be… um… three times as annoying."

Red stared hard at the pretty-boy moron. "Very simple."

"Kelso does have a point," Eric said. "She's going to have us jumping around to do her bidding while torturing our ears with the latest beauty tips from Cosmo."

"Or going through your wardrobes and giving away all the clothes that don't make her cut to Goodwill," Donna pointed out.

"Don't forget her backhanded compliments which are more deadly than a direct insult," Kelso reminded.

Fez sighed. "Ah, yes. How I have missed her." One by one everybody else nodded their heads in agreement with Fez. The gang was just not the same without Jackie.

"Missed who?" they heard behind them. They turned to find Hyde and Jackie letting themselves in through the front door. Hyde was quick to dump Jackie's suitcase and rush to take her arm as she stepped down into the living room. Jackie seemed unaware of his assistance; she was too busy taking in the surprise party prepared for her.

"Jackie, sweetie, you're here," Kitty cried, enveloping Jackie in her motherly arms. Jackie was a little stiff in her arms; she was too busy coping with the flashbacks this scene was bringing back.

_You know what you deserve, Steven? You deserve having the person you love more than anybody else in the world tear your heart out of your chest and then treat you like you never meant anything to them. That's what you deserve!_

"I'm sorry, what?" Jackie said.

"I said, it's good to have you back in Point Place where you belong," Donna repeated as she hugged the smaller girl. She meant it as welcoming but what Jackie heard was _You couldn't cut it in the big time – you'll never be more than a small town girl._ She pulled away from Donna's embrace.

"This is just a temporary measure, you know. I _am_ going back after the baby is born."

"Oh Jackie, now you're just being silly," Kitty scolded with her unique laugh. "How can you and Steven be together if you and the baby are in Chicago and he's in Point Place?"

Jackie looked a little thrown; Eric's parents still did not know the ins and outs of this pregnancy and she really had no wish to enlighten them. "Uh… we'll work something out."

"Yeah," Hyde agreed as he handed Jackie a plate he had piled high with the most calorie-rich of the foods on display. "Like you make a new years resolution not to take on any more jobs that involve being employed by raving lunatics and concentrate on fattening up our kid instead." He gently but firmly pushed her into Red's armchair and kicked the footrest towards her. "Now sit and eat."

"Steven, I've told you, I am not giving up my career," Jackie said firmly.

"I'm afraid that's not really an option now, Jackie," a new voice said.

"Bernard?" Jackie cried, leaping out of the chair and shoving the plate back at Hyde. "What are you doing here?"

"I've got some bad news for you, I'm afraid," Bernard said glumly. "The kind that you can't give over the phone."

"What do you mean?" Jackie asked fearfully. From the sad look in her friend's eyes she knew this would not be good.

In reply, Bernard picked up the remote control and pointed it at the TV, setting it on the children's cable channel. A tall bubbly blonde with an overflowing bust was introducing herself to her television audience.

"Hi there, everybody! My name is Mary-Anne and I am the new host of Happy Hour! We are going to have so much fun together, right, Bernie?" A giant purple teddy-bear nodded and clapped its hands in agreement.

"Look at that poser," Bernard growled. "How do they expect to pass this hack off as me? I mean, we look nothing alike!"

"Mary-Anne?" Jackie repeated in horror. "That feeble-minded intern who couldn't get a coffee order right to save her life is replacing _me_? What the hell are they thinking?"

"Maybe they thought she could widen their audience," Fez suggested as he moved closer to the screen to get a closer look at Mary-Anne's chest. "I mean, I can imagine all those milk-hungry infants would find her very appetising."

"Yeah, well, seeing as she did her audition at Brewster's apartment and it lasted all night, you can guess which of her qualifications impressed him," Bernard said.

"So this is how it goes," Jackie said with bleak resignation. "Everything I work for, every time I put my heart and soul into something, there will always be a slutty bleached blonde with a nice rack to waltz in and take it away from me."

Laurie. Sam. Now Mary-Anne.

"Jackie, I'm sorr – " Hyde began.

"Don't, Steven," Jackie cut in. "You've got what you wanted." Her head began to ache as the bad memories flooded in, made stronger by her familiar surroundings. "Mrs Foreman, do you mind if I go to my room and lie down? I'm not feeling very well."

"Of course, sweetie," Kitty crooned, putting an arm around Jackie. "We've set up Laurie's room for you and Steven."

"NO!" Jackie protested. "I… I can't sleep in there."

Kitty frowned. "But that's where Steven's wives always sleep." Then the penny dropped. "Ohhh! I see. How about I just put you in Steven's old bedroom instead? Come on, honey, you just have a nice rest and don't worry about that blonde floozy. I'm sure she won't last long, anyway – she's so top-heavy she'll be constantly falling over."

As Kitty led Jackie away, Hyde looked after them with a sinking feeling. It was as though his relationship with Jackie was a game of snakes and ladders, and something was telling him he had just slid down a particularly long snake.

…………………………………………………………………..

Jackie stayed in Hyde's room for the rest of the day, lying on his old cot bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. Throughout the day she had a line of visitors invade her sanctuary in an attempt to cheer her up. Jackie reflected on the irony of her life that the one time she did not want to talk, it was all other people wanted to do. First there was Donna.

_Look, Jackie, I know we haven't been the kind of friends we used to be for a long time but I really want to fix that. I want you to know I'm committed to restoring our friendship to how it used to be._

How it used to be? Jackie did not want to go back to the days when Donna acted like she suffered her friend's company due to lack of options.

Then there was Michael.

_Hey, Jackie, I know that hot blonde taking your job has brought you down so I thought I'd let you gaze on my amazing foxitude to cheer you up. What, nothing? Awww, sweetpea, it's better this way, anyhow, because not only was your boss a colossal botard but now you and Hyde can really be together. That reminds me, there are a couple of things I needed to ask you. Firstly, could you not tell Hyde that I asked you to marry me? I don't want to get between you guys again, I feel pretty bad about how I broke you two up. And secondly, you wouldn't happen to have Mary-Anne's phone number, would you?_

Her next visitor was Bernard.

_So I said to Brewster, you think you can replace my friend with that empty-headed bimbo? Well, you can keep this stinking job and I hope you rot from whatever virulent disease you picked up from that opportunistic skank. What? Yes, I did say that. OK, I was going to say that. Fine, if you have to be so darned specific about things, I walked in and found some other guy wearing my bear suit and then the security guy tossed me out! Happy now? It wont last for long anyway. They'll send that third-rate ham back to the children birthday party circuit when they see he can't reach the emotional core of Bernie the Bear's character like I could._

Even though Bernard rated high on her friends' chart, she was not sorry to see him go. She felt guilty about his predicament, knowing the reason he had been fired was because he had stood up to Brewster back in her hospital room. As soon as the door closed behind Bernard, she turned back to the wall and let the tears run down her cheeks.

…………………………………………………………………..

"Well, I have tried everything to raise Jackie's spirits," Fez announced as he exited Hyde's bedroom. "I even offered to lower my pants and make my tattoo dance for her, but… no go."

"Fez, I've kind of got a problem with you offering to show your butt to my wife," Hyde said from his lawn chair.

"You know, we've all had a try at getting Jackie to come out of your room and rejoin the living," Eric said pointedly to Hyde. "All but one."

Hyde shifted uncomfortably. "What's the point in me going in there? I'm probably the reason she lost her job, what with throwing that bastard into a food trolley. I'm the last person who could cheer her up."

"Look, Hyde, I spent half an hour re-enacting the first meeting of Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan, complete with British accents and droid beeps, and Jackie gave me nothing! That's half an hour of my life I'll never get back – and she's not even my wife! So now it's your turn and I don't care if you make her laugh, cry or homicidal – anything would be better than that blank stare."

Hyde hoisted himself out of his chair with a groan. "Fine! I'm going in there but you guys have to get out of earshot. If this thing ends in a murder trial, I don't want there to be any witnesses."

"His murder or hers?" Fez asked Eric as they walked out the door.

"Oh, his, definitely," Eric answered.

Hyde quietly let himself into the darkened room where he found Jackie curled up on his bed. She was so still that at first he thought she was asleep but then he noticed her eyes were open. Her hopeless expression made him feel all kinds of wretched, so much so that he decided to give her the one thing he had always withheld; he would talk about feelings.

He lay down next to her on the bed, but she gave no reaction. Her eyes were still fixed on the ceiling. "Jackie, I know that you're feeling pretty lousy right now and I also know you probably won't believe me but I really am sorry you lost your job the way you did." Hyde watched Jackie's face but saw no change in her expression. "Look, after the baby comes if you want to have a career, I'm fine with that. Of course, it would be good if it was a bit closer to Point Place than Chicago because that commute was a bitch." Jackie turned her head towards him, for the first time acknowledging his presence, which encouraged Hyde to continue. "I know we agreed to take things slowly and not plan for the future but it's like the future is happening all around us. We're like at a crossroads, you and I, and we need to choose which way we're going to go." Hyde gathered all his courage together and took her face between his hands, staring earnestly into her beautiful green and blue eyes and he made his final offering; his heart. "Jackie, you are everything to me – you and the baby, you're my world. Please promise me you'll never leave me again. I need to know that, baby, because I love – "

The declaration was smothered by Jackie's mouth colliding with his own, swallowing the words before they could be uttered. Hyde was startled by Jackie's quick mood shift from catatonic to sex-starved, but when Jackie grabbed his hands and put them on her breasts, his switch was flicked.

No more words were said between them that night – at least, no words strung into sentences. It was only when Jackie lay in his arms, enjoying the satisfied slumber of the sexually exhausted, that a moment of misgiving flickered across his mind before he joined her in dreamland. Were they good now? What did the sex mean to her? God, that was such a chick kind of question, but he could not help feeling off balance somehow. There was something about that conversation he had had with Jackie that seemed eerily familiar, yet somehow… reversed.


	14. Chapter 14

A.N. Trying to think of a good author's note but… eh, I've got nothing. Except please review!

Chapter 14

_12th December 1980, Point Place_

_Here we go again_, Jackie thought as she woke up spooned against Hyde. The thought encompassed more than her sleeping position; there was losing her job, being ousted by a blonde bimbo, not to mention using sex as a distraction from the big issues. Jackie indulged herself in one last sad sigh dedicated to the depressing merry-go-round that was her life, but then she felt a hard kick against her spine. It was almost like the little passenger inside her was saying _Snap out of it, Mom! This is no time for sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself._ Jackie's jaw tightened to its familiar stubborn tilt. So what if she could not depend on keeping her job or – she looked behind her at Hyde – keeping her man? There was still one precious soul that was depending on her, and she would not let him down.

Jackie carefully slid from underneath Hyde's encircling arm so as not to wake him and made her way over to the bureau into which Kitty had unpacked her clothes. In a previous life, there was no way her wardrobe would have fit into three bureau drawers but as she had only brought with her Brooke's maternity clothes that she had altered to her size, that was not a problem. What was a problem was that she only had three blouses, one dress and a pair of expandable jeans to last her over the next four months. Jackie pulled out a slender bank passbook from its hiding place under the drawer's lining, the cover of which read _W.F.A. Fund_. A quick review of the balance of her savings told her that a shopping spree was out of the question. She looked over at Hyde, who was making little grunting noises in his sleep while his arm searched for her body. As she slipped a pillow into the gap she had left, she knew she could not bring herself to ask for money from him, any more than she had been able to ask for any form of help from him these last few months. To do so would be a kind of failure in Jackie's mind, as though she had come no further than the needy little girl who always needed a big strong man to bail her out. Well, this girl knew what came of relying on other people, even if they do say all the right things _(Jackie, you are everything to me)_. Pretty words and good intentions were one thing, but a healthy bank balance and confidence in your ability to handle any crisis trumped them every time.

_What I need is a way to stretch out the life of my maternity clothes_, Jackie thought, _maybe only wear them when I need to go out_. But what would she wear around the house? Then her foot stepped on Hyde's discarded Led Zeppelin tee-shirt from last night. Steven was a good few sizes bigger than her and tee-shirts were pretty stretchy to start with. Maybe…

It was just your typical morning in the Foreman house; Red and Eric sat around the breakfast table snarking at each other as Kitty bustled around the kitchen, happily preparing a nourishing repast for her family. Then Jackie walked through the door and normalcy skidded to a halt.

Nothing was said for a full 10 seconds as Jackie sat down at the table and started spooning eggs onto her plate. Then Eric finally squeaked, "Jackie, what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"They're called clothes, Eric," Jackie replied, apparently unconcerned that she was wearing a worn Rolling Stones tee-shirt over her jeans. "It's this new craze sweeping the civilized world."

"But… but it's a tee-shirt! Hyde's tee-shirt! And it's used!" Eric spluttered.

"Shut it, dumbass," Red squashed his son.

"How are you feeling this morning, Jackie?" Kitty asked tentatively, as though fearing some psychotic break in her new house-guest. "And where is Steven?"

"Steven is still in bed." Jackie shot a wicked smirk Eric-wards. "I kind of wore him out last night." Eric shuddered not only at the image but the Hyde-ness of the remark. "And aside from having my kidneys stepped on every other minute, I'm fine," Jackie said, biting into her toast.

Red looked Jackie over with approval. "You see, this is what I like about you. When Eric gets depressed, he holes up in his bedroom for the summer. Whereas you put in one day and then you're back on your feet again."

"It's like you always say, Red. Life sucks and disappointment is just par for the course. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get on with your business."

Eric regarded Jackie with an increasingly freaked-out expression. "You're not making a big deal about yourself, you're wearing Hyde's clothes and you're talking all nihilistic! Alright, what the hell happened last night? Did you perform some satanic ritual on Hyde and switch souls or something?" Eric grasped her hand and stared searchingly into her eyes. "Hyde? Are you in there, buddy?"

"Eric, don't be so silly," Kitty admonished. "Jackie, I know what will make you feel better – shopping! How about you and I hit the stores for some Christmas shopping! Only two more weeks to go, or, as Eric would say, just 12 more sleeps till Santa comes."

"Christmas shopping?" Jackie thought quickly; she could not even afford to dress herself, how was she going to buy presents for everybody? There was only one way out. "You know, Christmas has become so commercial these days. It used to be a holy day, now it's all about getting sucked into this huge conspiracy run by profiteering retailers. Well, this year I'm not buying into their scam! I'm not giving Christmas presents and I don't want anyone giving me any presents."

"You don't want any presents?" Eric gaped at the dark haired stranger sitting across from him. A present-hating Jackie was too bizarre a concept to wrap his head around.

"Sweetie, maybe you are spending too much time with Steven," Kitty ventured. "You're starting to sound just like him. Why, if I close my eyes I would think that was him talking."

"Morning, Mrs Foreman. Any eggs left?"

"Oh my! That was uncanny!" Kitty cried as she re-opened her eyes.

"Kitty, the boy is right here." Red rolled his eyes.

Hyde took his seat next to Jackie, taking in her new look with an upraised eyebrow. She looked back with a hint of challenge in her multi-coloured eyes, and he wisely chose not to comment. They had more important things to discuss, anyhow. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," she replied.

"What happened to you?" he asked her in quiet tones. "I woke up this morning and you were gone."

Jackie shrugged. "You wanted me to eat. I'm just following orders."

"Listen, about last night," Hyde began. "After all that's happened, you probably want to talk about our relationship…"

"Not really," Jackie replied, scraping up the last forkful of eggs. Hyde blinked.

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"But you always want to talk about our relationship and feelings and that kind of crap."

"Hey," Red barked. "Nobody talks about their feelings while I'm eating!"

Jackie gifted Hyde with a blinding smile. "Baby, stop trying to analyse everything. All that matters is the here and now, which, judging from last night, is pretty awesome."

"Oh. Alright. So… we're good, then?"

"Sure, why not?" Jackie answered casually, rising from the table to take her empty plate to the sink. "Say Red, have you finished with the paper? I just need the employment section."

"What? Hold on there, woman," Hyde objected, crossing the room to her side. "What do you need a job for? You know the doctor told you to take it easy until the baby is born."

"Relax, Steven. I'm just going to see if there is something out there which doesn't involve any physical activity – something I can do from home, maybe bookkeeping for a small business; I was always good at anything to do with money." Jackie then received the employment section from Red, thanked Mrs Foreman for breakfast and walked out of the kitchen, dealing out a surreptitious slap to Hyde's ass on the way out. He gazed after her in utter bafflement.

"My God, I can't believe how much she's changed," Eric marvelled.

"I know," Kitty agreed. "She not only cleared her own plate, she thanked me for breakfast! She now has better manners than my own family."

Guilty pause, then "Thanks for breakfast Mom/Kitty/Mrs Foreman."

"Well, that just makes the last twenty-five years worthwhile," Kitty muttered.

…………………………………………………………………..

_12th January 1981_

Over the next few weeks the strange change that had come over Jackie became increasingly obvious to everybody. Her around-the-house uniform had become Hyde's T-shirts and her maternity jeans, and seeing as how she had given up shopping and was following her doctor's advice about staying off her feet, she was around the house a lot. She could usually be found down in the basement either watching TV with the gang or settled in Hyde's chair, making notations in a ledger. In spite of Hyde's forceful objections, she had canvassed the local small businesses and was successful in convincing five of them that they required the services of a part-time bookkeeper like herself. The only time she regularly left the house was once a week when she would visit her customers and swap this week's receipts, invoices and ledger books with last week's and collect her payment. Every time she deposited her earnings into her W.F.A. Fund, she felt a little easier both for herself and her baby – the balance was nearing its target.

The day Hyde found her passbook marked their first major fight since their wedding – unless you include the fight _during_ the wedding, in which case it would be the second.

"What the hell is this?" he yelled, throwing her passbook onto the coffee table. Jackie put down her ledger.

"How did you find this? Have you been going through my things?" she accused.

Hyde had actually been looking for Jackie's diary; she kept her thoughts so much to herself these days that he was desperate for some insight into what she was thinking – or planning. It was an unsettling side-effect that the less Jackie talked about what she was feeling, the more insecure it made him. It used to be that when they were in the grip of passion, Jackie would be the one babbling about how much she loved him; Hyde used to be able to play her body like a Stradivarius to elicit the exact words he wanted to hear, although he would never admit to wanting them and rarely returned them. Now when they made love the only words Jackie would say were instructional – what she wanted Hyde to do to her and what she wanted to do to him. As though to fill some void she had made, he suddenly found himself unable to hold back those same words of love Jackie used to pour into his ears, a thing so incredibly anti-zen that he would curse himself for it afterwards. And now he was snooping through her drawers, searching for some inside knowledge to manipulate her with. _What the hell is happening to me?_ He thought.

Hyde returned to the attack, ignoring Jackie's question. "Why the hell does your bank account have $4,500 in it yet you hyperventilate if I pay an extra 50 cents for toothpaste?"

"The generic brand is just as good as the commercial ones, Steven," Jackie retorted. "Why do we have to pay for their advertising budget?"

"That's not the point! You have $4,500 in the bank but you didn't even buy anyone Christmas presents," Hyde ranted.

"I made them little Christmas cakes," Jackie protested.

"Yeah, well maybe if you had given everyone hockey sticks to go with them they might have been able to get some use from them." Hyde shook his head in disbelief. "What the hell has happened to you, Jackie? You never used to be so cheap."

Jackie jumped to her feet, her temper fully ignited. "You'd be cheap too if your father was in prison and you actually had to make your own way in the world! But I guess it's easy to pass judgment on others when you've got a rich daddy to swoop in and give you everything you want."

"No, I pass judgment because you work your butt off pinching pennies when you've got a small fortune in the bank. Why the hell don't you go out and buy some new clothes instead of walking around like your fashion consultant is the Salvation Army clothing bin? You could use that gift certificate I gave you for Christmas."

Jackie curled her lip. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? I'm sick of you trying to dress me, change me into something more presentable. Well, I've got news for you, baby, this is who I am – I'm scruffy, I don't waste my money and I never wanted any of your Christmas presents! I hate presents!"

"No, you don't," Hyde shouted. "You love presents! You love clothes! You love spending money like it rains down from the sky!"

"Not any more." Jackie plopped back into Hyde's chair and crossed her arms, clutching her precious passbook to her chest.

"Could you tell me one thing?" Hyde wearily sank down onto the coffee table, facing his beautiful, stubborn wife. "What does W.F.A. stand for?"

"You really want to know, Steven?" Jackie asked, her eyes blue and green steel. "It stands for World Falls Apart."

"What?" Hyde felt a little sick as he sensed what was coming.

"I first started it when Sam came along and I found myself with no job, no boyfriend and no real friends. Money seemed to be the only thing I had any control over that could give me some kind of security. It used to be called just the J.B. Burkhart Savings Account but then when every few weeks some fresh disaster would come along to shatter what little progress I'd been able to make – well, I felt my passbook deserved a new name."

"Come on, Jackie, you're exaggerating. It wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad? Well, let's review, shall we?" Jackie ticked off each point on her fingers. "One – there was the whole Sam debacle, we've covered that. Two would be when the only employment offered to me in this town was sweeping hair, and I was so broke I had to settle for it. Three would be the time when Donna chose Sam over me as her new best friend. Four would be when Fez, the guy I counted as my last real friend, kicked me out onto the streets because I had accidentally flooded our bathroom. Then there was Christine St George – if I thought sweeping hair was bad, working for that demented bitch redefined the word! Even so, at least I was really good at that job, so good that she felt threatened and fired me. Then there was both my hook-up-slash-break-up with Fez, both of which you gave me so much grief over I couldn't bear to hang around you, which meant I couldn't come to the basement even though it was the only place that ever felt like a home to me."

"Jackie – "

"What are we up to? Six? Seven? I've lost count. Next one would be that whole going-away bash you threw for me which wound up with me waking up the next morning in your bed. Then there was finding out I was pregnant – now there's something a girl just starting a promising career in television wants to hear!"

"Jackie!"

"After that there was suddenly finding myself married to the same man who had smashed my heart like an egg dropped from the Chrysler Building. Finally, last but not least and drumroll please, getting bumped from the job I had poured my heart and soul into so a bottle-blonde bimbo could step into my shoes." Jackie stared hard at Hyde, her eyes wide so the tears standing in them would not fall. "I may have left some things out. It gets hard to keep track after a while."

"Jacks, I know it's been a bad couple of years for you, but that's all changed now." Hyde took both her hands in his. "We're married, you and I. Everything I have is yours – isn't that what you always used to tell me? You don't need to stockpile money like a squirrel stacking acorns for winter. The bad times are over."

"For how long?" Hyde felt chilled by the bleakness in her voice.

"How long what?"

"Marriages don't last forever, Steven. My parents didn't, the Pinciotti's didn't – even your last one didn't."

"That wasn't a real marriage," Hyde denied.

"You thought it was. You acted like it was. If Sam's husband hadn't shown up, you'd be with her now."

"No, I wouldn't. We didn't split just because her husband showed up, Jackie. I could have stayed with Sam after that – she offered to get a divorce if I let her stay. But I couldn't carry on with her anymore. I thought if I worked at it hard enough I could use her to make me get over you but when after four months I was still hearing your voice in my head, still catching myself turning to tell you some stupid thing that had happened to me that day and still not able to even get off with Sam without closing my eyes and pretending it was you – "

"Ewww," Jackie recoiled.

" – I knew I couldn't pretend anymore with Sam. It wasn't her bigamy that made our marriage a fake. It was you. You may think she took away what was yours, but she never really did. I guess you could count that as your revenge on both of us." The young couple paused for a space, drawing breath, calming heart rates, searching for words that would mend the tattered cord that held them together – or to make the final cut.

"Jackie, I want our marriage to last."

"I want that too, Steven," Jackie said sadly.

"Then what's the problem?" Hyde was mystified.

"I just… don't believe it will." Her voice was low, a single tear raced down her cheek. Hyde reached out towards it but she brushed it away herself. She sniffed and then said resolutely, "I just need another five hundred."

"What?"

"My fund. I have to bring it up to five thousand. That's the amount that can support me and my baby for at least three months if… anything goes wrong. Once I make that target, I'll stop working, I promise."

Hyde cleared his throat, which had suddenly become choked with something. "I'll give you the five hundred."

Jackie shook her head. "No, I can't take your money, Steven. This is something I have to do for myself." She squeezed his hand. "Please understand."

And as Hyde thought back to his childhood, growing up in a broken home, never knowing if he'd come home to a hot dinner or if his mother had drunk all their grocery money away, he did understand. He knew what she was feeling. And he would have given ten years of his life if she could have never known that feeling.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_3__rd__ February 1981_

"My friends, I think we can no longer ignore what is going on with Hyde," Eric said solemnly. "In fact, the situation is so dire that I think we should hold an intervention."

"Really?" Kelso said. "I thought he'd been cutting back on the beer and film lately."

"Not for that," Eric said impatiently. "Although this new sense of responsibility is one symptom of the disturbing change in him. I'm talking about the way our friend, the model of all that is manly, macho and sexist to the point of offence, has now become so totally whipped."

"Oh, that," Kelso caught on. "You mean the way that Jackie ignores Hyde when he orders her around and does whatever she wants? There's nothing wrong with that. That's how Jackie and I used to be when we were together."

"My point exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How can you not know what he means?" Fez demanded irritably. "When you and Jackie were together, you were whipped like the family pig! Keep up, man!"

Kelso was just hotly refuting this charge when Hyde walked into the basement. "What worthless debate are you chuckleheads having now? Jeannie verses Samantha or light sabres verses death stars?"

The three young men looked wide-eyed at each other, no-one wanting to initiate this discussion. "You tell him," Kelso hissed at Eric.

"No, you tell him."

"This was all your idea!"

"Exactly. I've done my share. Now you guys can do some of the work."

"Oh, for the sake of Pete, I'll tell him!" Fez turned to his mystified friend. "Hyde, it is my sad duty to inform you that you have become, as you Americans say, cat-lashed." Hyde looked blankly at the foreign kid for a few seconds before the translation for 'cat-lashed' dawned on him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he roared, insulted to the max.

"Hyde, we're just trying to help you, man," Kelso mediated, detaching Fez from Hyde's grip on his shirt front.

"That's right," Eric said seriously. "Especially since this seems to be more than just a simple case of female domination. Hyde, I have every reason to fear that there is some kind of… soul transference happening between you and Jackie."

"Foreman, I think that you've watched Freaky Friday one too many times," Hyde said in exasperation.

"I'm serious, Man! Look at you two! She's all controlled and zen, you're an emotional basket-case. She wears worn out concert tees and you nag her about the way she dresses. And what was that about yesterday, when you had to practically drag her out of here to make her go baby shopping with you? How twisted is that?"

"We needed to get some things for the nursery," Hyde defended himself. Although it had been a Herculean effort to pry Jackie from her bookkeeping. There was a time when the word "shopping" would have had Jackie shooting out of her chair so fast she would leave a Jackie-shaped cloud like Wile E. Coyote.

"Look Hyde, you've gotta sort things out with Jackie and get things back to normal because the two of you are throwing out the group's mojo," Kelso said.

"I agree," Fez added. "I want my bitchy shopping-loving goddess back. No-one else around here can appreciate a well put-together ensemble like my Jaclyn."

"And so how do my best friends propose I go about getting things back to normal?" Hyde asked. The three boys did not catch the hint of sarcasm lacing his words.

"Show her who's boss," Eric ordered. "Next time she does something you don't like, you gotta put your foot down and forbid it."

"No, flirt with other chicks," Kelso cried. "That's the way to make Jackie wish she had been nicer to you. Let her know you can have other girls and she'll fall at your feet."

"Do not listen to these fools," Fez said contemptuously. "Who cares if you have lost your self-respect? At least you are getting some loving! I say stuff yourself while the kitchen is open. Oh, that reminds me, I am hungry."

"All I know is, you have to do something, Man," Eric finished. "Because if you don't it's going to be _you_ that draws Red's fire the next time he's making his 'my-son-is-such-a-pansy' remarks. Although, come to think of it …"

"So, to sum things up," Hyde recapitulated, "you advise me to ignore what Jackie wants, use her for sex and hit on other girls in front of her."

"Yes!" Fez cried. "Just like the old days."

Hyde stood up, took the smoking bong from the centre of the table and threw it against the wall where it shattered.

"Hyde! What the hell is the matter with you?"

"With me? What is it with you guys? Why are you giving me advice that is like Course 101 on how to drive my already skittish wife further away from me? Do you even listen to yourselves? Tell me, just how well did ignoring Donna's pleas for you not to go to Africa work out for you, Foreman?"

"Hey, that's another story," Eric retorted. "Donna and Jackie are totally different people – one is the devil and one isn't." When Hyde made a threatening move towards Eric, he held up his hands in entreaty. "I'm kidding! Look, Hyde, it is very important to me that you two can get back to the way you used to be."

"Why?" It suddenly occurred to Hyde that the close interest Eric had been taking in the success of his relationship was somewhat out of his character.

"Why?" Eric was thrown by the question. "Because… you're my friends and if Jackie can forgive you for everything you've done then there's hope for the rest of us poor dumbasses should we ever mess up like that… not that we would… and – damn it, all I'm saying is we want you guys back to your old selves."

"Did it ever occur to you morons that maybe they don't want to go back to their old selves?"

Four heads turned at the sound of a new voice. "Donna! How long have you been listening?" Eric asked.

"Long enough to know you guys are trying to sabotage a relationship that's already in critical condition." Donna raked the three advisers with her most scorching stare until they hung their heads in shame.

"But what about our mojo?" Kelso whined in a small voice.

Hyde bit out. "I'm sorry to disappoint you guys but I'm getting pretty sick of living my life the same way I did when I was a high school burn out. And I doubt that Jackie's keen to go back to being the favourite put-down target of the gang. So you lot can just keep your comments to yourself about our relationship. God knows it was trying to live up to what you expected of me that caused a lot of our problems in the first place."

"What do you mean?" Donna asked. "What did they do?"

"They? You were the worst offender, Donna. Every time I let on how I felt about Jackie, you'd turn into a fifth-grader , Miss Oh-you're-going-to-tell-her-you-love-her-and-your-glasses-will-get-all-fogged-up."

"Oh," Donna said, shamed.

"Well, all I know is, if Jackie had accepted my proposal instead of yours she wouldn't be acting all weird and crazy like this," Kelso grumbled. "She'd just be acting crazy in her normal way."

"Your proposal?" Hyde was arrested by Kelso's comment. "What proposal?" The fearful look on the handsome moron's face was enough to tell Hyde he was referring to a proposal more recent than the one made at the Forman's anniversary party in '79. Kelso backed away.

"Hyde, I only asked her to marry me because she was alone and in trouble and I thought you didn't want her anymore," Kelso blurted. "Just like at the motel in Chicago."

"Tell me he didn't bring up the motel," Fez groaned.

"That's why he's the King," Eric replied, watching Hyde warily. From the twitching of Hyde's right eye, he figured he was probably witnessing the last moments of Michael Kelso.

"So you're the one," Hyde uttered in a voice dead to all human emotion. He was flashing back to his own 'marriage proposal' at Jackie's studio that day he had blackmailed her into marrying him. She had responded by claiming to have another candidate lined up for the position.

_So who is this mystery husband-to-be? Don't you ever get tired of asking men to marry you?_

_A friend of mine. And no, I didn't sleep with him, Steven, not that it's any business of yours. But I'm sure he'd make a better fake husband than you would._

Kelso. Kelso had been her first choice in a husband. Just as he had been her first choice in a boyfriend and the first person she ran to when she broke up with Hyde. Once again, he had €signed on as Jackie's consolation prize. Only difference was, this time he did not know it; she had never told him about Kelso's proposal. She had deceived him.

Kelso screwed his face up, bracing for the fist Hyde was sure to plant on his beautiful features. Instead he heard the bang of the basement door as it slammed behind Hyde. His reprieve was short lived as three hands slapped upside his head.

"Ow!"

"You idiot," Donna blazed. "Have you any idea what kind of damage you've done?"

"I didn't mean to say it," Kelso whimpered. "I even made Jackie promise not to tell him about it so I wouldn't cause any more trouble between them."

Donna shook her head in disgust. "Eric, you and Fez go after Hyde – you have to stop him from doing something stupid." The roar of the El Camino tearing out of the driveway interrupted her orders.

"Donna, I love the Cruiser but I know her limitations. There's no way she's going to catch up with Hyde's car."

"Then we must find Hyde by thinking like Hyde does in a crisis," Fez pointed a decisive finger at the door. "Gentlemen – to the nudie bars!"

"I'll go and find Jackie," Donna announced. "She may be the only one who can talk Hyde down from whatever new height of stupidity he's about to climb. When we've found our quarries, we all meet back here."

"What do I do?" Kelso asked timidly.

"Kelso, you work on your time machine and go back in time to prevent being dropped on your head as a baby," Eric ordered. "Hopefully this will cause a ripple effect in the space time continuum, erasing all the consequences of your stupidity."

"That would be nice," Fez remarked to Eric as they made their way to his car. "Maybe I would get my pinkie toe back." Eric looked a question. "Point of information; if Kelso ever offers to cut your toenails for you, make sure there isn't an axe in the vicinity."

…………………………………………………………………..

While all these revelations were unfolding with her old friends, Jackie was enjoying the company of her new friends who had come down for the weekend to visit.

"I can't believe you two are together at last," Jackie marvelled. "It took you long enough."

"Great things can't be rushed," Bernard said complacently, his arm draped around Brooke's shoulders. Brooke smiled lovingly at him in response.

"I remember the days when you refused to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend," Jackie replied teasingly, stirring more than her decaf. "What was all that talk about how 'we're just friends'?"

"You should talk," Brooke retorted. "Weren't you and Hyde just friends before you first got together?"

"You wouldn't think we were to look at us," Jackie said with a nostalgic smile. "But then there were times when no-one was looking."

"Jackie, I have good news about the show," Bernard volunteered. "Or bad news, depending on your perspective. It looks like your fluff-headed replacement has tanked Happy Hour. The ratings in the last two weeks of the season took a nose-dive as soon as you left."

"Really?" Jackie squeaked in excitement. "Wow! Is it wrong of me to be kind of psyched about that?"

"Probably, but who cares? Serves Brewster right for trying to replace us. I hate when a good show is ruined by greedy corporate management trying to wring a few more dollars out of it by replacing the characters everyone knows and loves with talent-less stereotypes. Not to mention messing with the format that has worked for years."

"Yeah, that burns me up too," Brooke agreed. "Though I get the feeling we're not talking about Happy Hour anymore."

"You got me," Bernard admitted. "What they did to Saturday Night Live last season was a travesty. I don't know how they're going to come back from it."

"But we have better news than that," Brooke announced gleefully. "Bernie has just landed a major role in a play!"

"Oh Bernard!" Jackie cried, elated for her friend.

"It's no big deal," Bernard said modestly. "I'm just the main supporting actor. In a classic Oscar Wilde play. Playing at Chicago's third biggest theatre. But it's nothing to make a fuss about."

"This is incredible," Jackie exclaimed. "The last time I saw you, you were all depressed about getting fired from the Bernie Bear gig. You were even talking about moving back home and working in your dad's hardware store. What happened?"

"Brooke happened," Bernard said, leaning across to kiss Brooke sweetly. "I was all ready to give up but she wouldn't let me. So I figured if someone as smart as Brooke thought I could make it, who was I to argue?"

"Men! They can't get anything done without a good woman behind them to give them a push. Am I right, Jackie?" Brooke was surprised to see the pensive expression put on Jackie's face by her teasing words. "Jackie?"

"Is that really true?" Jackie asked.

"Is what true?"

"Do people really need someone believing in them to succeed or… change?"

"Well, it certainly helps," Bernard said. "It's the human condition to doubt oneself. Without someone else providing a more positive point of view, it's easy to believe the doubts. But why so philosophical all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. I guess I haven't really shown Steven that kind of support in a long time."

"Well, after all he did to you, who could blame you?"

"Yes," Jackie agreed uncertainly. "But things have been different lately. He is different – but I haven't really acknowledged that to him."

"How is he different?"

Jackie thought back over the past few months; Steven looking out for her, Steven's willingness to talk about hard issues, Steven's dogged persistence in the face of her resistance. Then there was just yesterday, when he had forced her to go shopping with him. When she had insisted she had no interest in shopping, he had played the baby card, knowing she had no defence when it came to their child's welfare.

_Halverson's Department Store, Pre-natal Section_

"_Alright, we're just going to grab what we need, pay for it and get the hell out," Jackie told Hyde as he towed his reluctant partner towards the baby cribs._

"_That takes me back to my good old days," Hyde replied. "Without the paying for it, of course."_

_Jackie looked nervously around, alert to condemning stares. Her pregnant belly seemed freakishly huge to her eyes, and the fact that she was wearing the made over hand-me-downs of another woman made her feel even more self-conscious. She was half expecting her old cheerleading squad to jump up from behind the high chair section and point disgusted fingers at her, screaming "fat girl!"_

"_So, Jackie, what exactly are we looking for here?" Hyde asked, at a loss in a sea of baby paraphernalia._

"_Crib, high chair, bedding and baby clothes," Jackie answered, pointing to the items. "Oh, and look out for what's on special."_

_As they selected items for their baby together, Jackie gradually began to relax and settle back into her old shopping groove. It had been so long since she had let her eyes roam over goods with a view to purchase, but now the old instincts were coming back to her; the rush of finding sheets that would perfectly complement the colour scheme of the nursery she had designed in her head, the thrill of beating a rival pregnant woman to the last of the Winnie-the-Pooh baby mobiles, the triumphant squeal that slipped out when she saw the perfect outfit for the stylish newborn. And always there was Steven there to make the experience so much better than if she was doing this alone, arguing with her, teasing her, smiling at her._

_When it came time to ring the purchases up, Jackie was stunned to find the utterly elegant maternity blouse she had eyed longingly amongst their goods. She turned to Steven to ask how this came about, but he would not meet her eyes and it was bought and paid for before she knew it. The fact that he would buy her such a lovely present, even after her outpouring of ingratitude at that fight they had had last month, touched her like no other gift ever had. She had thought after the things she had said he would surely turn away from her now, that he would give her up as a lost cause. Yet here he was, prodding her into stocking a nursery with him as though there was no question in his mind that they would end up together._

_It was slowly dawning on her that Steven Hyde was here to stay._

_Back to the present…_

"So what are you saying?" Brooke asked Jackie.

"I was just wondering… do you think living like you expect someone to let you down is just making that more of a certainty? Because I think I could be shooting myself in the foot being so cautious about trusting Steven. Maybe he's right – maybe history won't repeat itself."

It was at that point the little trio were interrupted by a frantic Donna running into the café.

"Jackie! Thank God I found you! Come with me – we have to find Hyde."

"What? Why? Is Steven alright?" Jackie asked, a cold chill of fear prickling her skin.

"I don't know; he found out about Kelso proposing to you and went all angry and icy like he does. We have to find him before he does something stupid."

Bernard gave a low whistle. "Then again…"

**A.N. OK, I'm sure you're all losing patience with me by now, the way I'm making Jackie and Hyde yo-yo from promising to hopeless, but I promise I am going somewhere with this. Also, I've been waiting the last 14 chapters to put that reference to Saturday Night Live's notorious fifth season in there – if you read about it on Wikipedia, it sounds like the perfect parallel to T70's Season 8, aside from the fact that they were able to come back from it and that it introduced a fresh new talent named Eddie Murphy.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A.N. Sorry for my absence lately. So much has been going on that it has pulled me away from my writing and from fanfiction in general. I have a feeling it will be a while before the next update but at least this chapter should relieve the suspense.

Two girls walked together through the mall, the tall one striding impatiently forward, the short one with slower steps. Finally, the smaller girl halted.

"Jackie, what are you doing?" Donna said in confusion. "We have to get to my car so we can find Hyde before it's too late."

"Donna, it's already too late," Jackie said sadly, sitting down on a bench. "The moment Steven jumped to conclusions because of some fresh stupidity of Michael's, that's when it was too late." Jackie shook her head in defeat. "Just when I thought he had really changed, Michael opens his big mouth and it all goes to hell."

"OK, Jackie, I've had enough of this beaten-down attitude of yours," Donna declared, towering over her friend. "Alright, so Hyde isn't perfect and he makes stupid assumptions when he's jealous. That's no reason to give up on him!"

"Oh really? Sounds like a perfectly good reason to me," Jackie retorted. "What kind of future can I have with a guy who's never going to trust me?"

"Well, can you really blame him for not trusting you after the way you've been acting lately?"

Jackie made an indignant noise. "Me? What are you implying? Are you saying you think there's actually something going on between me and Michael because that is the craziest – "

"No, of course not," Donna said, sitting down next to the angry brunette. "I'm talking about the way you've been so remote with everyone lately, especially Hyde. Is it any wonder he's so insecure about you when he doesn't even know what you're feeling or whether you are ever going to want to commit to him?" Donna frowned as her own words registered. "Hey, wait a minute…"

"How am I supposed to commit to him when everybody I've ever loved has walked out on me, including him? Have you any idea what it's like to feel like you can't depend on anyone? To know that sooner or later, everybody leaves so there's not much point in getting too attached?"

Donna stared at Jackie as an earth-shattering revelation hit her. "Maybe I don't know exactly how that feels but I know someone who does."

"Who?"

"Hyde. My God, I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. Eric was right, you two have switched places."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "What, you're buying his 'satanic ritual soul transference' theory? Please – if I was going to trade places with anyone it would be someone like Jackie Onassis, not Steven."

Donna grabbed Jackie's arm in excitement. "Don't you see? This aloofness of yours, that is pure Hyde! You are feeling exactly how he felt when you two were a couple, just like he's feeling the same kind of desperation you did when you were trying to get a bead on how Hyde felt about you."

"Steven felt like this when we were together?" Jackie repeated, scrunching her nose. "You mean all those times when I pleaded, threatened and tried to trick him into saying how he felt about me and he wouldn't, he was feeling the way I've been feeling?" Donna nodded her head emphatically. Jackie was blown away. "But – this feeling sucks!"

"One other thing, Jackie. You're wrong when you say Hyde hasn't changed. Today when I was in the basement and the guys were riding him about being whipped by you, for the first time ever he stood up to them. Said he didn't care what they thought, that he wasn't going to lose you by acting like some macho jerk."

"Really?" Jackie said hopefully. For Hyde to put Jackie before his precious 'cool' image would be unprecedented indeed.

"So are we going to sit on this bench all day and practice our zen?"

Jackie stood up, firm intention straightening her spine. "Donna, I think I have reached the end of my zen. And you know what begins where zen ends!" Jackie strode purposefully in the direction of the parking exits. "Come on, lumberjack! Move those canoes you call feet!"

"Let the ass-kicking begin, midget," Donna replied with a grin. They were almost at the exit when Jackie glanced across to the other side of the mall into a certain store she knew well. What she saw there had her frozen in her tracks. Then, before Donna knew what was happening, Jackie had her arm in a death grip and was tugging her friend in a new direction.

…………………………………………………………………..

It was a slow day at the Golden Slipper shoe store for the dapper little man known as Fenton. After looking back on a sales career that included selling lingerie, jewellery and bridal registry items, he had decided that women's shoes would be his true calling. However, he had never really grasped that modelling the merchandise was not a sales technique that worked well for him, thus explaining why his store was currently empty. _Well_, he silently queened, _if that old bat can't appreciate how perfectly my calves set off those hot pink sling-backs, then that's her loss!_

Then a new customer walked through the door that had him standing to attention in every way. _Oh my – he's two months late but Santa has finally delivered!_

"Can I help you?" Fenton purred.

His customer was not impressed by the store manager's bedroom eyes and demanded with a forcefulness that made Fenton's knees weak, "I'm looking for my wife. Have you seen Jackie today?"

"You're Jackie's hubby? Well, well, she certainly traded up. You've got twice the muscle of the scrawny one she picked out wedding presents with. Do you work out?"

Hyde gave this strange little man a look of such disgust that would have done Red Foreman proud. "Look, pal, I know Jackie does bookkeeping for you and seeing as how she isn't home she must be either making her accounting rounds or reviewing all the secret marriage proposals that she doesn't tell her own husband about. So you either tell me straight out where I can find my wife or…"

"Or what?" Fenton asked breathlessly.

Hyde was about to say he would put his foot in his ass but then it occurred to him that Fenton would probably like that.

"You don't want me finishing that sentence," Hyde menaced. Fenton practically swooned.

"Jackie hasn't called in yet," Fenton said. "But I could be lying. Maybe you should take me out back and work me over to be sure."

"That's OK, I believe you," Hyde said, backing up quickly.

"Actually, I'm expecting her any time now. You could take a seat and wait for her if you like." Hyde considered this offer. It sounded like a better strategy than running all over the mall looking for his errant wife.

"Alright," he grudgingly agreed. "But could you not be so… creepy? Just put the fruitiness on hold for about ten minutes, that'd be great."

Fenton gave a lilting laugh as he gracefully descended onto a chair across from Hyde. "Oh, Jackie's husband, you are such a card! I can't believe she never mentioned you to me."

"What, she's never said anything about me?"

"Why, no. That is, I knew from her wedding ring that she was married but as the only man I've ever seen her picking out china patterns with was that boy shaped like a lollipop, I figured he must be the one." Fenton noticed Hyde's disappointed expression and squeezed his knee comfortingly. "Now, don't go reading anything into Jackie not singing your praises. I've noticed she's a very different girl from the one who used to come into my bridal shop and try on wedding gowns every Saturday. Now she's all business and her impeccable sense of style has really gone downhill. I don't understand why she can't enlarge her wardrobe beyond those same three boring maternity blouses, considering all the money she's earning. Are you keeping your wife on a tight leash, my friend? Is that how things work in your household? Milking the cash cow dry, are we?"

"No, my wife wears cast-offs and rock concert T-shirts because SHE'S A CRAZY WOMAN," Hyde bellowed. He sprang up from his chair and started pacing a tight circle in the empty shoe store. "Damn it, I have had it with that aggravating little nutcase! She's got me so wound up I can't even think straight these days! Have you any idea what it's like to live with a woman who doesn't speak when she's got nothing to say? That's unnatural, man! Jackie used to be like a broken faucet, every thought and feeling spilling out of her as soon as she had it. Now a guy has to be a mindreader to get a clue on what she's going to do next."

"Oh, I can't imagine living with a woman like that," Fenton said, shaking his head. "Actually, I can't imagine living with a woman."

"And it doesn't stop there," Hyde continued. "I've been turning myself inside out, not holding anything back so she can see how I feel about her, but she doesn't give any of it back. I tell her I love her, that I want to be with her, and what does she do? Have really hot sex with me. Really, really hot sex. Man, that thing she did with her tongue…" Hyde shook his head to clear it. "But that's not what I need from her and she knows it."

"What do you need?" Fenton asked.

Hyde kicked over a footstool in his frustration. "I need her to let me know where her head is at. Give me some kind of commitment, so I don't have to wonder when I walk in the door whether she'll still be there or not."

"Oh, honey, how often have I heard that story," Fenton sympathised. "Every day they come in here and complain to me 'I just need him to make some kind of commitment so I know where this relationship is going'. And I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell them; you need to march up to that man – or woman, as the case may be – and say 'Baby, you either say right now that you can see me in your future or I'm not wasting another minute in a dead-end relationship which is only going to end in breaking my heart'."

"Yeah, that's funny, that reminds me of the time when Jackie asked me…" Hyde petered off as the obvious parallel slapped him upside the head. "Son of a bitch…" he breathed.

"What?"

"If payback's a bitch, then its name is Jackie! I'll bet this is all some elaborate plot of hers, turning the tables on me like this! I swear, the next time I see that brain-twisting little she-devil I am going to – "

"Going to what?" Jackie challenged, making her dramatic entrance into the store. The fluorescent lighting reflected in her eyes like twin flames, making her look like the denizen of Hell that Eric was so fond of calling her.

Hyde regarded his wife with equally scorching eyes. At any other time, he would have been pleased to see her wearing the blouse he had bought for her yesterday, but right now he had other things on his mind. In a heartbeat, he threw away the cautious attitude he had treated her with for months and set his temper free. He strode towards her with such dark purpose that anyone else would have scampered, but Jackie stayed where she was, her expression unreadable.

"If it isn't my secretive little wife," Hyde snarled. He noticed Jackie's companion. "Hey, Donna! You're just in time. Jackie was just about to tell me about all her secret marriage proposals from her various ex-boyfriends."

"Hyde, don't – "

"Don't what, Donna? Tip the apple cart? Mess with the status quo? Too late for that because I have had enough! So is this what you needed $5,000 for, Jackie? Is that the price tag on the dream wedding you've got picked out with Kelso? Wouldn't take much to top our joke of a ceremony, would it? But no, you're all _practical_ now, aren't you? It's probably for moving expenses so you can get as far away from me as possible, right? Well, I obviously have no control over you, but if you even try to take my son away from me I'll hit you with every lawsuit – "

"Steven," Jackie interrupted, not reacting to his vitriolic outburst. "Why are you here?"

"That's what I've been asking myself – why do I still give a shit when you've made it obvious – "

Jackie shook her head impatiently. "No, Steven! I'm asking why are you here – in this store? Why are you _here_?"

"Where the hell else would I be? I've been searching all day – every shop you do business in, I've been looking for you. I even had to sit through half an hour with this guy – " he gestured to Fenton who gave a coy little wave "who makes Fez look like a dockyards worker, waiting for you to turn up. That's what a man does when he finds out his wife would have married his best friend if he hadn't gotten in the way.

"So let me get this straight," Jackie said slowly, "as soon as Michael told you about how he asked me to marry him, you went straight out and searched the town for me so you could call me a cheating harlot to my face?" Suddenly Jackie's face broke into the biggest smile, joy lighting up her features like sunshine. "Oh, Steven!" Before he knew what was happening, Jackie had thrown her arms around his neck and was hugging him tightly. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

Fenton raised an eyebrow to Donna, who shrugged and said "They're not exactly the most traditional couple."

"Is this the pregnancy hormones making you whacko?" Hyde asked, surprised right out of his anger. "Because I can kind of dig this."

"Steven, you thought I had cheated on you with Michael and your first reaction was to find me and confront me with it," Jackie explained, drawing her head back. "Now I know you really have changed! The old Steven would have been passed out under some skank by now."

"Yes, Eric and Fez are checking underneath all the sluts and whores within a 5 mile radius as we speak," Donna confirmed.

Hyde shook his head, refusing to be sidetracked. "Hey, don't go distracting me with all your… pregnant hotness, Jackie! Why the hell didn't you tell me about Kelso's proposal? Did it mean so much to you that you couldn't talk about it?"

Jackie stared blankly for a moment and then broke into of laughter – side-slapping, gasping for breath, unrestrained hilarity. "Mi-Michael's proposal – means too much? Oh, Steven!" When she could talk again she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and said, "Steven, I forgot all about Michael's proposal."

"What?" Hyde double-taked. "How could you forget it?"

"Because it wasn't important," Jackie explained. "Steven, Michael isn't important to me – not in that way."

"But when I cornered you into marrying me, you said you had someone else lined up," Hyde reminded.

"That was Bernie," Jackie said, rolling her eyes.

"Bernie? The uptight dude in the bear suit? You mean – you've got feelings for him?" Hyde was starting to feel dizzy. How many guys did he have to compete with for his own wife?

"No, no, Steven! Bernard and I are just friends. I only figured he would marry me to save his job, because if Brewster fired me then that would be the end of the show, or so I thought. But when I mentioned the idea to him he was less than enthusiastic. Not to mention he and Brooke are a couple now, so marrying me would really make things awkward."

"So… there's nothing going on between you and Kelso?" Jackie shook her head. "Or you and Teddybear guy?" Jackie shook her head. "And I've jumped to conclusions again and landed on my ass?" Jackie nodded her head. "Oh hell, Jacks, I'm so sorry."

"That's alright, Steven," Jackie replied with a sweet smile. "In a way I'm glad it happened. I know it would be unrealistic to expect your jealous streak to disappear overnight, but at least I know now that when it kicks in you won't run away from the situation." Hyde could hardly believe his senses; to hear Jackie hint that she was beginning to trust him, to see that loving sparkle back in her eyes, it was all too good to be true. He was almost glad when she suddenly kicked him in the shins; it was a little harsher than a pinch, but at least it proved he wasn't dreaming.

"What was that for?" he groaned, rubbing his leg.

"For ever thinking the worst of me," Jackie replied matter-of-factly. "How many times do I have to remind you that I am a heavenly creature far above the weaknesses of mere commoners?"

"That's my baby," Hyde said, scooping her up into his arms. "Welcome back, Jacks!"

Jackie traced a finger affectionately down Hyde's left sideburn. "Good to be back," she purred, before bringing his face into contact with hers. His lips met hers hungrily as he melded her body against his as closely as he could without squashing the baby and she returned everything he gave her and more.

"Ahem!" A cleared throat reminded the couple that they were not alone. They turned to find Donna's face twisted into an expression that wavered between happiness for them and distaste. Fenton's, on the other hand, had a purely Fezzian leer, mainly directed at Hyde.

"Guys, I'm really happy you're back together but we are in a public place, you know," Donna reminded. "If you don't scale it down a notch I wouldn't be surprised if the footage from the security cameras ends up in one of those porno flicks – they could call it 'People who do it in the darnedest places'."

"Ooh, I'd be lining up in my trench coat to go see that one," Fenton said.

"Gee Donna, I wish I could offer you the position of major buzz-kill, but that position has already been taken," Hyde said, gesturing at the effeminate little man.

"Now, Steven, be nice to Donna," Jackie reprimanded. "If it weren't for her encouragement, I wouldn't be here right now." Jackie walked over to her oldest friend, her eyes soft. "I'd forgotten what it was like, you know – the way you could keep me grounded, stop me from doing something I'd regret." She reached out a hand to Donna who stared at it, stunned, before closing her own large paw over it.

"You'd do the same for me," she said gruffly. "In fact, you always did. Eric and I never would have made it if you hadn't talked me into forgiving his constant stupidities." Donna shook her head in disbelief. "God, I can't believe I forgot about that! When Sam came I never should have – I don't know why I was such a – Oh, Jackie, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm sorry too," Jackie howled, breaking into tears in unison with Donna.

"I'm sorry more," Donna bawled, hugging Jackie tightly. "Oh God, I've been such a bitch!" The girls continued for a full ten minutes in their maudlin display while Hyde and Fenton stood awkwardly on the side-lines, waiting for the tear-storm to pass. When the weeping turned to sniffling, Hyde ventured to put an arm around his wife.

"As much as it goes against everything I stand for to come between two hot women in each other's arms, I think it's about time we got out of here." He cast another uncomfortable look at Fenton. "As soon as humanly possible."

As the three young people were walking out of the store, Fenton called out to Jackie, "Hold on just a minute there, Jackie Burkhart! What are we doing about my books? Aren't you supposed to hand them in to me today?"

Jackie turned dramatically in the doorway and announced, "Don't call me 'Jackie Burkhart'! My name is Mrs Jackie Hyde." Hyde grinned to hear Jackie so proudly take his name, that is until she tacked onto her grand statement, "and I'll drop by tomorrow morning with your books – make sure you have my cheque ready."

"Jackie!" Hyde reproached.

"What? I'm this close to making my target, Steven!" Jackie replied, as though it were the most reasonable thing in the world.

"What are you saving for?" Donna asked curiously as they walked away. Hyde held his breath as he waited for Jackie's answer.

"I'm not sure anymore," Jackie said thoughtfully, then her eyes fell on the window display of the store they were walking past. "But I have a feeling it is going to come in handy very soon."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**A.N. This is kind of a relationship-building chapter – they have had heart to hearts in this story before, but this one goes a bit deeper and will be more productive. The song Jackie sings in this chapter is by Alison Krauss and Union Station (Find it on Youtube with search words It Doesn't Matter Buffy/Dawn). Keep tissues handy; it is the most hauntingly sad acoustic guitar song you'll ever hear. Also, my apologies for taking so long getting this out.**

2nd March 1981

The music came as a surprise to Hyde.

He was just coming down the short flight of stairs leading down to the outside entrance to the basement when he heard the gentle acoustics of a guitar. He paused for a moment, thinking that Kelso must have improved phenomenally since he had last heard him and maybe throwing his guitar into the fire on that camping trip had not been as well-justified as he had thought. Then he heard a feminine voice singing softly and he realised it was not Kelso at all.

He quietly opened the door to find Jackie sitting alone on the couch, somehow managing to keep the guitar balanced on her knee in spite of her eight month and then some pregnant belly. She sang tentatively, as though feeling for the words and melody as she sang them, her eyes cast downward to her unborn child.

_Gonna make a new world for you_

_Paint you a brand new sky_

_Gotta make this whole universe new_

'_Cause this old one just can't handle_

_All the love I've got for you_

Hyde's throat felt scratchy as he listened to Jackie's song. This past month Jackie had let down so many barriers with him, become so much her old unguarded self, that he had thought he knew all there was to know. But listening to her create a song for their baby, hearing the deep love that vibrated through every word, he realised that there were still hidden valleys to his wife that it would take a life-time to explore.

"Hey," he said softly. Jackie whipped her head around.

"Steven," she replied with a self-conscious smile. "How long have you – "

"Long enough." He sat beside her and pulled her feet onto his lap. Foot massages were a little ritual that had developed between them lately. Ostensibly they were to soothe Jackie's pregnancy-swollen feet, but they had the useful side-benefit of keeping his wife in one place when he wanted answers.

"You know," he began, "that's the first time I've seen you play the guitar in three dimensions. Not counting those early lessons I gave you, that is."

Jackie's eyelids fluttered as Hyde dragged his finger knuckle down the center of her sole. "Mmm, yes, your lessons."

"You have learned well, Grasshopper," Hyde remarked smugly. "I must be one hell of a teacher."

"Oh please," Jackie scoffed. "My daddy made me take music lessons when I was nine. There was never a time when I couldn't play better than you in my sleep."

"Is that so?" Hyde said as his thumbs pressed deeply against the soft pads under her toes. "If that's true, then what was up with all those times you looked at me with those big innocent eyes, begging me to show you how to make a G chord?"

"Steven, Steven, Steven," Jackie tutted. "So naïve. Don't you know a line when you hear one?" Hyde met her smirk with one of his own, just before running his fingers lightly over the most ticklish part of her insole. Too late, Jackie remembered you should never antagonise a zenmaster when he holds your feet in his hands.

"Enough! Please! I give up," she cried through her helpless laughter, her wooden shield falling to the carpet with a loud twang. Hyde jerked sharply on her ankles so that her thighs now lay across his lap.

"I'm afraid that's not good enough," he said sternly. "You took advantage of my trusting nature and now you have to pay the penalty." With an arm around her back, he raised her up to sit on his lap.

"And what would this penalty involve?" Jackie wriggled in his lap, partly in anticipation and partly to hint at the method by which she would like to be punished.

"We'll get to that," was Hyde's reply as he squeezed her restless derriere warningly. "For now, let's just have a little Q and A session. That song you were singing when I came in – you were making that up, weren't you?" Jackie nodded. "Unbelievable! I never knew you could write songs! Did you write all the songs you sang on your show?"

"Yep," Jackie said proudly. "I had a lot to do with the creative side of my show."

"Really? I always thought someone else handled that part and you just did what they told you."

"Steven, you should know by now that doing what I'm told is not one of my strengths." Jackie looked wistful for a moment in memory. "I did love those times when I'd sing a new song to the kids in the studio audience. To see that happy excited look on their little faces – it was the best feeling."

"Is that why you were so hell-bent on keeping that job?" Hyde asked. He had thought Jackie's obsession with her job had been about security and fame; he had not realised how deep it went.

"There is no love more honest than a child's," Jackie said, picking up her guitar again and fixing her eyes on it. Hyde heard the conclusion of her sentence in his head; _and I needed somebody to love me._

"I know it's not the adoration of thousands, but do you think you could you settle for the love of one child and one man instead?" Jackie smiled in agreement and Hyde smoothed his hand over her tautly stretched belly. He felt his stomach drop when an answering tap from Hyde Junior's tiny fist vibrated against his hand. "Did you feel that? He just high-fived me!" Jackie laughed at his excitement. "So, how long have you been writing music and why didn't you ever tell me?" her husband asked, trying to sound casual.

Jackie's expression clouded slightly at Hyde's question, as though remembering a sadder time. Then she looked Hyde resolutely in his eyes and answered honestly. "When you and I broke up – the bad break-up – I started writing songs then." Hyde said nothing, encouraging her to continue with his silence. He was not running away from the hard conversations anymore and he would not let Jackie do so either. "It's just – it felt like I didn't have anyone then. There was nobody who was really on my side or who wanted to know how I was coping with things. Donna and Fez were more than happy to accept my don't-give-a-damn act as the truth, even if it wasn't that convincing. I guess music ended up as being the only way I could express myself, leech out some of the hurt before it ate me up from the inside."

Hyde ran a hand lovingly over Jackie's dark head. There were no words that could take back what he had done to her, no promises that would make things all better; Jackie was right that time she had dismissed his apology as inadequate. So he did the only thing he could think of. He asked her to play one of the songs she had written from those bleak days. She protested at first, not wishing to dredge up those painful memories for both of them, but he insisted. Finally, she tenderly picked notes from her instrument so rounded with melancholy you could hear the tears echoing in their timbre. Softly she began to sing a song birthed in heartache and pain.

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_It doesn't matter if I cry_

_Don't matter if I bleed_

_You've been on a road_

_Don't know where it goes or where it leads_

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_If you've made up your mind to go_

_I won't beg you to stay_

_You've been in a cage_

_Throw you to the wind you fly away_

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_It doesn't matter if I cry_

_Don't matter if I bleed_

_Feel the stain of tears_

_Falling on a space you've loved for years_

By the time Jackie finished, the tears were raining steadily down her cheeks. Hyde gently removed the guitar from her grasp and enfolded her into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he muttered over and over as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I wish I could have been there for you."

"That was the hardest part," Jackie sniffed. "Always when my heart was broken I could run to you for comfort. It was bad enough not having your love, but I felt so lost without your friendship."

"You weren't the only one," Hyde said gruffly. "God, Jackie, I wanted to reach out to you so badly. I missed you so much. But I didn't think it would do any good. I just wanted to put things back the way they used to be when things made sense but it was like I was trapped in a nightmare – you know that feeling where you want to scream but nothing comes out? It was like that _all the time_."

"I know," Jackie sighed. Deep down she had known Steven still loved her, a love hidden in the best part of himself. But she had been too hurt, too tired of the uphill battle of their relationship, to fight to reach that part of him. In the end she had let despair take over and nothing had mattered; she had left him to the cage he had made for himself. Not for the first time, Jackie wished she had been stronger back then. That was when the revelation hit her.

"Steven, it wasn't all your fault," she said suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, sure, choosing a stripper over me has to go down in the record books as one of the dumbest decisions in human history, and being so relentlessly horrible to me all the time wasn't your best work either, and then there was the time – "

"Jacks, can we just skip to the part that isn't my fault?" Hyde interrupted.

"You know how I've always been the stronger, more aggressive person in this relationship?"

"What? Like when?" Hyde objected.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Hello? Like always being the first one to take the next step. Being more able to express my feelings openly. Let's face it, Steven, if I had left our relationship up to you we never would have made it past the first time Eric and Donna ordered us to break up."

"Yeah, right. For your information, I was just about to ask you if you really didn't go out with scruffy guys like me when your motor mouth beat me to the punch."

"My point is," Jackie continued, "As the dominant figure in our relationship, I had a responsibility to protect and nurture you. When something bad happened and your emotional cowardice made you run away to Vegas like a frightened little girl - "

"Yeah, you're not really past the anger, are you?" Hyde winced.

" – I should have done everything I could to stop you. To make you realise…"

"Realise what?" Jackie drew closer, her fingers twining though his curly hair.

"That I love you," she confessed softly, "that I need you like I need my own breath. That you don't have to worry that I will ever find someone I could love more because that's just not possible." 

Hyde let out a deep breath as he took in her words, allowing them to heal the broken places inside. Slowly, he planted kisses across her lips, her brow, every dear plane of her face. Then he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom to "ditto" her confession in his own unique way.

**A.N. Hope you enjoyed this brief oasis of fluff because the next chapter is all plot-thickening-action.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Hyde walked into the Foreman kitchen so pleased with himself that even Kelso would have found that level of self-satisfaction as a bit too much. Bursting with the need to regale somebody with the reason for his smugness, he waited patiently for Eric to finish his phone call.

Eric was much too jittery to notice his friend slouching against the counter behind him; all his attention was trained on the unidentified person he was squeaking down the phone line to.

"Look, I thought we had an agreement about this," he protested. Then "I've sorted things out with immigration for you but there's no need to – " He paused a moment, listening, then cried desperately "No! Do not bring the chicken! I repeat, do not bring the chicken!" Click! "Hello? Hello?" Replacing the phone in the receiver with a shaking hand, Eric turned around to find Hyde regarding him with raised eyebrows. Eric made an entirely unsuccessful effort to wipe the anxiety from his face.

"Who was that?" Hyde asked.

"Who was what?" Eric repeated. "Oh, the phone? That was… um… a wrong number."

"Oh, a wrong number?" Hyde said, then picked up a banana from the fruit bowl and started talking into it like it was a microphone. "Attention! We need customer assistance on Register Two. Can we have a price check on the wrong number story? How much? Yeah, we're not buying that."

Eric crossed his arms across his chest and faced-off Hyde. "Well, Hyde, if you're really interested I guess I could go into a long, drawn-out explanation about the story behind that phone call; I warn you however that it should take about 30 minutes of your time and involves a number of Star Wars metaphors."

Hyde met Eric's stare for a few seconds before saying, "You know, I have heard there's been a lot of crossed lines in the neighbourhood lately. Those lazy SOBs at the phone company really need to get off their asses."

"Yeah, I know, government agencies, blah blah blah. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"Hold it right there, Foreman. If you don't have anything worth talking about, that makes one of us. Now you park your butt on that stool while I instruct you on how a good husband pleases his wife."

Eric made a face. "Hyde, I hear enough about how you please Jackie every night through my floor-boards, thank you very much and may the man who designed this house rot in Hell."

"I'm not talking about that kind of pleasing, although I am sure that will feature in Jackie's gratitude," Hyde replied. "I've just come from the library where I have set things up for Jackie to star in the kid's story-time segment they hold there three days a week."

"Wow, that's amazing," Eric gasped. "You actually set foot in a library? That's like a vampire entering a church! Tell me, did the ground sizzle under your feet?"

"Knock it off, Foreman. This will be a great thing for Jackie. Now it won't be like she's missing out on anything by staying in Point Place with me."

"Oh, so she's definitely decided to live here with you, then?"

"Well, not in so many words," Hyde admitted. "We've been hashing out the past so much we haven't gotten around to the future, but I'm sure she doesn't want to leave me now. And it's not like she's got a job in Chicago to go to, anyway."

"I guess not," Eric agreed. "So, when are you going to tell her about your surprise?"

"When she gets back from some shopping binge she's out on with Donna and Brooke." Hyde smiled complacently to herself. "Man, she is totally going to flip."

_Meanwhile, three girls were driving home..._

"Man, Hyde is totally going to flip," Donna chuckled.

"I know," Jackie said gleefully. "I can't wait to see his face when I tell him."

"Well, that was quite a shopping spree," Brooke remarked, who had come down for the weekend. "I don't think I've ever been on one before that cost 5,000.00 dollars."

"I've had a lot of economy to make up for," Jackie explained. "Besides, it's not like I spent it all on shoes."

"That's true," Donna said. "Although if you had spent it on shoes you wouldn't have to pay another 45,000.00 dollars for them. Not unless you're married to a Philippines dictator, that is."

Jackie smoothed out the real estate flyer which was attached to her receipt for the ten per cent deposit of 5,000.00 dollars and then passed it over to Brooke in the back seat of Donna's car. "Look at my new house, girls – isn't it just perfect? I had a feeling the first time it caught my eye in that agent's window that I was destined to live there." Her two friends agreed that the three bedroom brick cottage with the white picket fence was indeed sublime.

"How do you think Hyde will take it when he finds out he's become a man of property?" Donna proposed.

"Ecstatic, of course," Jackie said a little sharply. "This is my grand gesture to show him that I am putting my roots down here in Point Place. That I am here to stay. He has to be happy about that, right?"

"I don't know," Donna said slowly. "It's hard to pinpoint how Hyde's going to react to things. Plus he doesn't have the best track record when it comes to springing huge commitments on him. And have you even asked him if he wants to live in Point Place for the long term? I remember W.B. once mentioned that when Hyde was ready for it he could take over one of his major stores like in New York or Chicago if he wanted."

Jackie's face fell at this news. "Really? He never told me that! I thought he loved living here, with all our friends and the Foremans. Oh no, what if he doesn't want to settle down here?"

"Don't listen to Miss Gloom and Doom," Brooke said with a frown at Donna in the rear-vision mirror. "I'm sure Hyde will love your surprise."

"Well, excuse me for being the voice of common sense," Donna said snidely.

"Wouldn't the voice of common sense have made these arguments before Jackie signed away her life savings?" Brooke retorted.

"Girls! Girls!" Jackie interrupted, waving her hands. "Enough of this fighting over me. Mommy loves both of you _the same_."

Brooke and Donna shared a look and then broke into laughter.

"Sorry, Jackie. I guess there's no reason to be borrowing trouble ahead," Donna apologised.

"Exactly, and anyhow I know my Steven," Jackie said with determination. "This _is_ what he wants." _Oh God, please let this be what Steven wants_, she prayed frantically.

_Back at the Foreman house..._

"Well, well, the gang's all here now," Kelso said brightly as Jackie, Donna and Brooke came through the Foreman front door. "So Brooke, have you come to your senses yet and dumped the teddybear? Because I'll be happy to be your rebound guy. Of course, all the babes in Point Place keep me pretty busy but I can always find a window in my schedule for you."

"It's a generous offer, Michael, but Bernie and I are still very much together," Brooke said firmly. "He just couldn't get away this weekend because of rehearsals for his play. But thank you for watching Betsy." The young mother plucked the gurgling infant from her current risky perch straddling one of her Dad's long legs.

"Why is everybody up here?" Donna asked.

"Apparently Hyde could not wait the extra 30 seconds it would take Jackie to travel from the living room to the basement before he told her of his surprise," Fez explained.

"Yeah, he's been all a-twitter waiting for you," Eric sniggered.

"Hey, I just don't like her going down those stairs more than she has to," Hyde objected.

"Oh, Steven, were you worried about me?" Jackie asked with melting eyes. Hyde looked around uncomfortably for a moment before grabbing Jackie and quickly kissing her.

"Awwww!"

"Get bent!"

"Do you have a surprise for me, Steven?" Jackie asked with excitement, keeping her arms wrapped around him. "Because I have a surprise for you."

"Oh really?" Hyde asked, drawing back in her arms and raising one eyebrow. "Let me guess – you've just bought out the maternity clothes department at the Mall and charged it all to me."

Jackie laughed and slapped Hyde's chest. "Oh Steven, don't be silly. That was like 3 days ago." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "You might want to be sitting down when you open our next credit card statement. No, this surprise I have for you is huge! You're going to love it!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'll bet my surprise is going to blow your surprise out of the water."

Fez clapped his hands together in delight. "Listen to you two trying to outdo pleasing each other! It warms my heart to see you so happy and in love after all the troubles you have been through." Jackie smiled in agreement at Fez as Hyde held her lovingly in his arms. Fez sighed contentedly. "Surely nothing can ever come between you two again."

"Fez! What the hell!" Eric cried.

"Damn it, Fez," Hyde hollered.

"What? What did I say?"

"You don't go putting words like that out there," Hyde growled. "Don't you know that's just begging fate to come and kick our asses?"

"But you don't understand," Fez implored. "I am only saying you are so in love that there is no power in the universe strong enough to come between – "

"For God's sake, somebody gag that jinxer before a meteorite lands on top of us," Jackie cried.

When Fez had been suitably muzzled, Hyde drew in a deep breath and turned to his wife. "So, Jackie, about this surprise I have for you."

"Ooh, let me guess," Jackie chirped, bouncing on her feet. "Does it have to do with our future? Because my surprise is all about our future."

"Well, it kind of does," Hyde said. "But it mainly has a lot to do with your special talents – your musical and kid-entertaining talents."

"Really?" Just then there was a knock on the front door. Before anybody had a chance to answer the summons, the door was flung open by a man who had never been known for his patience. To the shock of all the young people in the room, Conway Brewster burst back into their lives. But it was a very different Conway Brewster to the man Jackie had known and feared. This one looked distinctly harried, not the commanding man of action she was accustomed to. Before anyone could do more than gape at him, Brewster was charging up to Jackie, barking words at her.

"Alright, Burkhart, you win," he growled. "As soon as you left Happy Hour the ratings plummeted. I'm sick of having to deal with all those stupid letters demanding we bring you back; God, preschoolers are such whiners! So, what's it going to take? Name your price."

Jackie looked up into Hyde's face, made speechless by the surprise she thought he had arranged for her.

Hyde stared down into Jackie's face, dismayed by the surprise he thought Jackie had arranged for him.

Eric, Donna, Kelso and Brooke turned towards Fez with accusing frowns, who looked upwards to the heavens with a nervous smile.

"Um… universe? I was just kidding."

**A.N. If you think that was a twist, wait until you read the next chapter when Eric's secret will be revealed!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Conway Brewster looked around the suburban living room in distaste. How the Hell did he end up in a place like this, practically grovelling to this small-town starlet for her to return to the big city? It was all because of that vacant-brained blonde he had replaced her with. That was the last time he would mix business with pleasure. He probably should have found out before he put her on air that she had a singing voice that made dogs run in circles. Now, if he didn't sign up Jackie for the next season, he would have some unpleasant explanations to make at the next network board meeting.

"So, come on, what are your demands? A bigger dressing room? A weekly fruit basket? You want me to fire someone for you? You name it, you got it."

Try as she could, Jackie had no reply for her former boss. She turned to Hyde instead. "Steven – is this what you want? Do you want me to take this job and live in Chicago?"

"Well, nice of you to ask," Hyde answered, somewhat rattled. He had no idea she was still hankering after her old 'claim to fame'. But then, how could he stand in the way of what she had worked so hard for? "I… I just want you to be happy, Jackie."

"But what about Grooves? Will we be together? And do you think an apartment in Chicago is the best place to raise a baby? I mean, wouldn't you like to live in… oh, say a house in a quiet neighbourhood surrounded by family and friends instead?" Jackie started to twist her fingers together nervously.

"Jackie, whatever happens I promise we will be together," Hyde said resolutely. "Hey, you know I've always wondered what it would be like to live in a big city."

"Well, if that's what you want…"

"Alright, can we move on from this Kodak moment and get down to business now," Brewster interjected. "Jackie, we only have a month until the beginning of the next season so I've scheduled the birth for next Tuesday – I've lined up an obstetrician at Chicago memorial to induce you. Then Hans, your new personal trainer, will start you on your program the next day – you'd be amazed at all the toning exercises you can do while confined to a bed. I've also got my staff interviewing for a nanny so you can really concentrate on your work without any newborn wailings distracting you. Now, moving onto your hair, I'm thinking it's time for a new look – "

"Whoa! Hold it right there!" Jackie ordered with upraised hands. She took a deep breath and then turned on Brewster with eyes that glittered dangerously. "Where the hell do you get off telling me what day I'm giving birth and deciding who is going to care for my child?" That was just the opening for Jackie's tirade. Hyde looked on with satisfaction and some surprised admiration as Jackie verbally tore Brewster apart. By the time she had gotten through with eviscerating his abilities, his character and his appearance, the once intimidating dynamo was pummelled into a slack-jawed mess. Truly, the student had surpassed the master. "…and as for _daring_ to tell me what to do with my hair – that's just… just – " Jackie was struck speechless with fury at this last impertinence. Hyde took this as his cue to step forward and do what he had itched to do since his first meeting with this man. Brewster seemed to read his intention in Hyde's evil grin and made a quick break for the door, Hyde in close pursuit.

It was fifteen minutes later that Hyde walked back through the door.

"Did you catch him?" Kelso asked. "What happened?"

In response Hyde tossed a pair of Armani silk trousers to his friend. "Does that answer your question?" He turned to his wife and his triumphant smirk disappeared. "Jacks, I'm sorry if my de-pantsing your boss is going to close a career door for you, but I just couldn't stand by and let a dumbass like that try and run your life."

"No, I agree with that, I just don't understand – if you don't want me working for him, why did you set things up so he would offer me the job?"

Hyde matched Jackie's perplexed expression with one of his own. "Me? I didn't invite him here. I thought – wasn't that your surprise?"

"My surprise? That was _your_ surprise – the one that you said involved me singing to children."

"No, that was your surprise – the one that was about our future."

"Do you really think I would make a major decision like that about our future without consulting you first?" Jackie asked indignantly.

"Then what was your surprise?"

"Oh… um… I bought us a house." Even as she said it, Jackie had to admit that it sounded a little inconsistent.

"You did _what_?" Hyde stared at his suddenly nervous wife. "You went and bought a house without asking me first? What… how… where did you get the money to buy a house?"

"I used my savings for the deposit," Jackie said, meeting his eyes bravely.

"The W.F.A. fund?" Hyde asked, arrested in his outrage. "But I thought that money was your security – your escape route if things went sour."

"I know, and I'm not saying that I'm not ever going to be unsure about how things will turn out again, but I figured that you and me are worth betting on." Jackie walked the few steps that separated them and put her arms around his waist. "Besides, I don't want you to have to worry that I'm going to run away when things get tough. I promise you that from now on I'm staying put. Whatever this world throws at me, I'm going to face it head-on, because I know you'll always be there beside me."

"Wow," Donna said, eyeing Hyde who had still not reacted to Jackie's 'surprise'. "Good for you, Jackie. I've missed the scrappy midget who never gives up. What do you think, Hyde?"

Hyde's answer was to suddenly grab his wife and kiss her passionately.

"I think he is in agreement," Brooke said with a grin.

"So," Hyde said a few minutes later after he had caught his breath, "Tell me about this house."

Jackie quickly described the house, its appearance, location and so on. Hyde was so captivated by the excitement playing over her lovely features that a lot of it went by him. She could have told him it was a condemned shack two doors down from the police station and he would have had no objection. All that he could register was that she was here to stay. Then she asked him what his surprise had been and he told her.

"Story time at the library?" Jackie repeated wide-eyed.

"Yeah, well, I figured its not as large an audience as you're used to but I'm sure the kids will really get a kick out of it."

"This is true," Fez added. "Your hosting of Happy Hour is fondly remembered by the small persons of Point Place. Remember last week when we stopped at Fatso burger for lunch, Jackie? I thought those three-year-olds were going to mow us down when they saw you. It was like in the Wizard of Oz when all the munchkins suddenly turned on Dorothy and hung her up by her pigtails."

Jackie looked at Fez strangely. "I don't remember that scene."

"It's in the Director's cut. Hyde told me about it."

"Riiight. Anyway, Steven, this sounds like a wonderful idea! I'll still be able to do what I love but I won't be taking too much time away from you or the baby to do it."

"And I was thinking that W.B. has a lot of connections in the music world; maybe we could find a label that would be interested in making an album of all those kids songs you wrote."

"Oh Steven," Jackie cried, jumping into his arms. "That would be perfect!"

"Can it be?" Donna asked in mock wonder. "Have our two lovers finally overcome all the obstacles in their path?"

"I do believe I feel the phrase 'happily ever after' coming on," Eric agreed as he brought his arms around Donna from behind. She looked over her shoulder at her childhood sweetheart and shared the smugly satisfied grin of the perfect couple admitting new members into their ranks.

"Damn! I was just starting to get into all the melodrama." Kelso lamented in disappointment. "It was like living in an episode of Guiding Light."

That was when the doorbell rang again. Everybody in the room froze in their place, as though sensing the next dramatic act was about to begin. Nobody made a move to the door.

"Foreman, answer the door," Hyde finally ground out.

"Why me?" Eric said; for a guy not known for his impersonations, he was doing an excellent impression of a frightened bunny.

"Because it's your house!"

"Hey, I defy you to find my name on the deed! You answer it!"

"Oh, quit acting all squirrely," Kelso admonished, striding towards the door. "Officer Kelso will take care of this." As his friends nervously watched, Kelso opened the door but all they could see was him talking quietly to someone who was standing on the doorstep, outside their field of vision. Then they saw Kelso make a motion to the mysterious caller that asked him or her to wait, closed the door and turned to his friends with a grave face that did nothing to soothe their apprehensions.

"Who – who is it?" Jackie ventured.

"Jackie, I don't know how to tell you this so I guess I should just come right out and say it. It's Sam – she's come back for Hyde and she's holding his 6 month old daughter."

A round of horrified exclamations followed Kelso's announcement. Jackie was just clinging to Hyde's arm, both looking equally white-faced and shaky, when Kelso suddenly yelled out "BURN!"

"What did you say?" Hyde said with great menace to the handsome doofus who was holding his sides with laughter.

"Oh, the look on your faces," Kelso chortled as he wiped away tears of merriment. "Oh no! Sam is back! I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist."

"So it was all a joke?" There was a slight tremor in Jackie's voice and before she knew it Kelso's hilarity had infected her. Before too long the living room resounded with uncontrollable laughter.

"So… so who is it really?" Fez asked once he could control his amusement.

"Oh, it's just some African chick who says she's Eric's wife."

At first they laughed even harder than before. But when they realised Kelso and Eric were not laughing with them, they all turned to Kelso, waiting for the burn, but his face held its usual clueless expression. Then their eyes turned to Eric, who was suddenly at his highest level of twitchiness. Donna, a terrible presentiment of doom rocking her, shook off Eric's embrace and speared him with her most accusing glare.

"Eric, what the hell is going on? Who is this girl?"

"What girl? I don't know… I mean, I can explain – Kelso, I just need to know one thing," he said, turning desperately to his friend. "Did she have a chicken with her?"

**A.N. That should be the last we see of Brewster. As to who this mysterious wife of Eric's is, wait and see. Just a note, I'm not in this for the reviews but they sure are nice.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**A.N. I always thought you could make some interesting story lines about the reason Eric broke up with Donna while he was in Africa. Here is my (admittedly far-fetched) theory. May I apologise in advance to anybody from Africa who reads this – my knowledge of that country is somewhat sketchy.**

"Foreman, I could kill you for this," Hyde said furiously.

Hyde, Eric and Kelso were holding an emergency circle (or triangle) to form some plan of action. The trouble was they were having a hard time coming up with the appropriate response for getting rid of an unwanted wife.

"Shut up, Hyde," groused a miserable Eric. "I currently have one girlfriend who wants to kill me and one wife who is physically capable of killing me if I suggest that she hits the road. What the hell am I going to do?"

"You know, Hyde, I would have thought you would be chock full of ideas about how to deal with this," Kelso interjected. "Seeing as how the same thing happened to you. Hey, how weird is that, that the same thing happened to both of you at about the same time? Ooh! Maybe you two are identical twins, separated at birth but making the same choices using your weird, extra-sensory twin powers!"

"I think you're going somewhere with this one, Kelso," Eric said sarcastically. "Aside from the fact that we have different birthdays, different parents and identical twins are supposed to be, oh I don't know, _identical_."

"Well, sure, if you're going to nitpick." Kelso huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Anyhow, the only thing I could learn from Hyde in this situation is what not to do."

"Don't start with me, Foreman," Hyde warned, the calming effects of the circle no match for the aggravation he brought to it. "Jackie and I were finally at a place where we had put the whole drunken-stripper-marriage behind us, and then you have to copycat me and bring the whole thing up again. And now my wife is with your girlfriend, drying her tears and bitching about what scumbags men are."

"Look, how I came to get hitched has nothing in common with your wasted nuptials," Eric retorted. "Hurting Donna was the last thing I ever wanted to do." Eric felt his throat ache as he remembered the look on Donna's face when his "wife" had walked through that door.

"_Oh my God, oh my God" Donna moaned. "It's really true? You married someone else?" Suddenly she took Eric by his shirt collar and hissed into his face, "After you stood me up at the altar because you weren't ready for marriage, you go to another country and marry a stranger?"_

"_Remove your pale foreign hands from my husband," a strongly accented voice boomed commandingly. It was the kind of voice you could easily imagine ordering a charge of elephants or a mass shooting of spears in some tribal war. Every other occupant of that room was struck speechless by the newcomer for she certainly had the form to match the voice. Six feet tall at least and every generously proportioned inch of her ebony skin covered pure muscle. She stomped over to Eric and Donna and detached the blonde as effortlessly as if she were removing a kitten. She then enfolded Eric in her arms (which made Jackie wonder what ever did happen to her Raggedy Andy doll) and cooed to her beloved "Did the white devil harm you, Mister Eric?"_

"_Eric, who is this Goliath?" Donna demanded._

"_This is Simboola. She is the daughter of the chief of the village where I was teaching." Eric looked at Donna with hopeless eyes, drinking her in as though this was the last time he would ever see her. "Donna, I'm sorry, I never wanted you to have to know this but… the reason I broke up with you when I was in Africa was because I sort of got married to Simboola."_

_Donna moaned as though wounded. As tears rushed to her eyes, she avoided Eric's pleading expression and her friends' sympathetic gazes and stumbled to the front door, her instinct being to find a place to break down, away from pitying looks. But on the doorstep she turned as though remembering there was someone here who had the experience to help her through this pain. "Jackie," she appealed brokenly._

_Jackie immediately made her way towards Donna but was stopped by Hyde, who tightened his hand on hers which had been resting loosely in his grasp. Their eyes met, Hyde making an appeal of his own. Jackie looked back with confusion, as though unsure where she belonged, but then she pulled her hand away and followed Donna out the door._

"_Donna!" Eric cried futilely. "It's not what you think!"_

"_Brracckkk," argued a white speckled hen as it jumped out of Simboola's hand-woven backpack._

_Eric stared at the strutting bird in horror. "Oh crap."_

"You know the person I feel most sorry for in this situation?" Kelso spoke into the depressed silence. "Fez. Now there's a true buddy for you, Eric, volunteering to show your wife around Point Place. Gives you a chance to figure out how you're going to break this to your parents when they come home."

"Oh my God, my parents!" Eric dropped his head back into his hands.

"Yeah, Fez is one brave little weirdo," Hyde agreed. "I just hope he doesn't walk in front of her; if she trips it'll be like standing under a felled Great Oak. He'll never see it coming either – just the dark shadow coming at him until someone yells 'TIMBER!'".

"Hey, watch what you say about my… well, what a small patch of Africa would consider my wife."

"You have to admit, Foreman, she is on the generous side. I mean, I know you're used to being the chick in your relationships but this goes beyond Donna territory."

"You know, when she wrapped her arms around Eric, it kind of reminded me of the lame ventriloquist act that you see on all the telethons," Kelso remarked with a dopey grin.

"Alright, enough!" Eric snapped. "Simboola happens to be a very nice girl who is as much a victim of circumstance as myself. This whole marriage deal is one huge mistake – I just have to explain that to her. And get rid of her chicken."

"Why don't you start with explaining your marriage to us," Hyde suggested, "as well as your sudden poultry obsession."

Eric heaved a sad sigh. "Well, it all began about a month after I had taken up my teaching post…"

_I had spent the last few weeks in the little African village on the edge of the jungle of Nool, getting to know my students and all the villagers. At first I felt like I was making progress, that they were starting to accept me, but then it was like I hit a wall. My teaching adviser told me that in order to teach, the first thing I needed to do was establish a connection with my students and I felt like that wasn't happening. So I went to the chief of the village to ask his advice._

"_Mister Eric," Chief Montaba said as he skinned an antelope, "there are two things you must remember at all times; in order to become accepted by the tribe you must become a part of the tribe."_

"_And the other thing?"_

"_Turn your head to the side when you vomit so your stomach acid does not damage the pelt."_

"_Sorry." Turns out I'm not so good with watching animals being butchered._

"_Tomorrow night there will be a full moon," the Chief went on. "If you wish to become a member of our tribe and be accepted by my people, you must undergo the Hoki Marla ceremony."_

"_I'll do it," I vowed. "Sign me up for this Hokey Mokey whatever thingy. I'll do anything. Whatever you want. Um… does the ceremony involve me eating monkey brains by any chance?"_

_Chief Montaba rubbed his chin. "It wasn't on the menu but I can speak to the cook if you want."_

"_Oh no, please, don't go to any trouble on my account," I insisted._

_The Chief clapped me on the shoulder. "Tomorrow you will become a brother to the people of Nool and a son to me." He then called towards his hut. "Simboola!" A mountain of a girl thudded out of the hut and came to his side. "This is my daughter, Simboola."_

"_Wow," was all I could think to say as I craned my head upwards. _

"_You are not the first man to have that reaction to my little gazelle," her father said fondly. He then gave her some instruction in his own language and the young woman bent down and hefted the skinned carcass of the antelope over her shoulder and carried it over to the smoking racks near the campfire. "Show me one of your American women who can carry an antelope like that," Montaba boasted._

"_Yes, it's certainly an essential social skill," I agreed._

_That night when the full moon had risen I was led out to the main area where all the natives were chanting, playing drums, dancing. I was looking quite dashing in my grass skirt and meerkat teeth necklace. What? It's part of the ritual to wear the teeth of an animal that you have killed. Well, I was practicing my golf swing and this little critter poked its head out just when… look, that's not important. My point is, I had come to play._

"_Eric Foreman," Montaba said, looking very imposing with white clay stripes all over his body and face, "Are you ready to unite your soul with that of the tribe of Nool and become a brother to its people, a father to its children, a protector to its women and a son to its chief?"_

"_Chief Montaba," I replied with equal formality. "Just as Luke Skywalker embraced the teachings of the Jedi, so shall I place myself under your wing."_

_That was when the medicine man brought out a flapping chicken. I was about to congratulate them on the way they were reinforcing the symbolism of what I'd said when they kind of ruined the moment by cutting the chicken's head off._

_All the people cheered as the Shaman held the bloody bird up high and I must admit I wasn't too thrilled when they started smearing its warm blood on my cheeks but when the Chief's daughter stood beside me and they started painting her face with it, I thought no way was I going to be all squeamish when this girl was just standing there like a block._

_Next thing I knew they gave me a bowl with some strange liquid to drink up. I almost asked them what it was but then decided I'd be better off not knowing. Simboola took the bowl from me and drank from it as well. Then suddenly I felt the most at home I'd felt ever since I'd arrived in Africa – the basement part of home, if you know what I mean. Man, I was tripping like Julie Fricking Andrews in an Austrian meadow. The rest of that night was just a blur. I might have got up to join in a tribal dance, and then I have some vague recollection of teaching the Noolians the Hustle, but it was mid-morning the next day before I landed back on earth. And that was one crash landing I can tell you. Because when I woke up I turned over on my sleeping mat to find myself face to face with the gigantic chief's daughter!_

"_Simboola," I cried in a panic. "What are you doing in my tent? Quick, you have to get out of here before your father finds out and hangs me over the smoking racks."_

"_Do not fear, Mister Eric," she replied with what I would come to know as her usual placid calm. "We have broken no taboo. It is customary for a husband to sleep next to his wife."_

_Well, I'll let you imagine my reaction to that piece of information. Turned out the Hoki Marla ceremony is what we westerners would call a wedding and all of those weird rituals the night before was their own special way of saying 'I do'. After Simboola had found me a paper bag to hyperventilate into, I managed to ask how we could undo the ceremony._

"_Mister Eric does not wish to take me as his wife?" she cried. Then she began the most horrible sobbing and weeping – it sounded like someone was doing something unspeakable to a moose._

"_No, no, Simboola, it's not that," I tried to talk my way out. "It's just that I have a girl back home in Wisconsin that I promised to marry some day."_

"_Then why did you marry me?" Good question. I explained the situation as best I could, wishing for the first time that my Dad was there so he could back me up. I could imagine him saying "If you knew Eric as long as I have, you'd come to expect this kind of dumbass behaviour. It's just the way he is."_

_In the end Simboola made a bargain with me. "Mister Eric, if you try to undo this marriage you will shame me and my father before all my people. You will no longer be welcomed by the tribe and my father will use his authority to punish you for your insult."_

"_What kind of punishment?"_

"_You could ask my sister's ex-husband that question, but it is hard to understand him these days since his teeth have been pulled out."_

_Shuddering, I asked, "Simboola, is there no way out of this?"_

"_There is one way," she said. "For the time that you are in Africa you will act as my husband in all ways in the eyes of the tribe. Then when your teaching term is finished, you shall return to America where our marriage ceremony is not regarded as valid by the leaders of your country."_

"_I guess I could do that," I agreed. "So long as we're agreed that there's no funny business when the tent flap goes down."_

_Simboola nodded. "There are conditions to this bargain," she continued. "You will be faithful to me, which means you will have no further communication with this girl you speak of who waits for you." She held her hand up at my protests and continued. "Also after you have returned to America you will arrange for my passage. All my life I have dreamed of seeing this remarkable country where a thousand lights shine on every street and strange totems talk to you and ask you if you want fries with your burger. Once I am in your country, I will cancel our marriage with the Marli Hoki ceremony."_

"_So… in America, I'm not really married?"_

"_You would only be half married," Simboola clarified. "To complete the ceremony so that we would be fully married I would have to sacrifice a chicken in your native home."_

"_But you're not going to do that, right?" I asked nervously. "You see, my mom gets really uptight when anyone spills something on the rug."_

"_No, the Marli Hoki divorce ceremony involves the sacrifice of a symbol of the chicken's mystical beginnings – an egg."_

"_So, I play your husband in public, things go smoothly with my students while I finish up my term, then I go back home, send for you and you'll come over and make me an omelette and then we're all square?"_

"_So long as you do not make me fall in love with you and make it impossible to say goodbye," Simboola said._

_I laughed loudly at her joke but then got kind of nervous when she did not laugh along with me. "You're joking, right?"_

_She leaned over and stroked my face with her giant hand. "A year is a long time, Husband."_

"So, there you have it," Eric sighed.

"So that's why you broke up with Donna," Kelso said, as though hit by a lightning bolt of enlightenment. "I've got to say, I thought it was really out of character for you to just dump her so quickly, after all those years of devotion."

"Yeah, I don't think anyone found that believable," Hyde agreed.

"I thought it would be better for Donna to think I was a fickle jerk rather than the kind of idiot who would get married because he had no idea what he was doing." Short pause. "No offence, Hyde."

"So, what now?" Kelso asked. "Are you going to keep Simboola? You know, I bet a chick who can heft an antelope would have all kinds of uses."

"Don't be a dumbass, Kelso," Hyde snarled. "Of course he's not going to keep her." He turned to Eric for confirmation but his friend seemed to be lost in thought. "Foreman, don't even think about it!"

"What?" Eric was roused from his study.

"Don't for a minute think of doing what I did – which was basically nothing and just letting the sparks fall where they would. You have to stomp this fire out now or one day you'll look back on this moment as the point when you assed up your whole life." Hyde took off his sunglasses and swiped a hand across his forehead. Eric's heart melted when he saw the strain in his friend's eyes.

"Hyde, man, it's OK. You haven't ruined your life – Jackie will come back."

"I don't know, Foreman," Hyde brooded. "It seems like there's always something coming at us to remind her what an asshole I was to her. Maybe this will be the final reminder she needs to see how much better she can do."

"You're wrong, Hyde, and I'm going to prove it." Eric stood up and started rummaging around on the basement shelf behind him until he found what he was looking for – a pair of binoculars. "You can get a clear view of Donna's bedroom window from the backyard – let's go see exactly what stage of man-hating our women are up to." So saying, Eric led his two compadres out of the basement.

_Meanwhile…_

"And in my fifteenth year I wrestled a white-horned ibix to the ground and was honoured with the Palm Leaf of Valour by my people," Simboola said as she bit into her third Fatso mega-burger.

Fez watched her dreamily, his head resting on one hand. "Your strength astounds and arouses me, my ebony-skinned goddess."

Simboola nodded in acknowledgment of his homage. "Of course. What did you say your name was again?"

"Fez. That is not my real name, but then no-one can pronounce my real name."

"What is your real name?"

"It is Fokalokaphuketalima Sapadabolabookonophooey."

"Fokalokaphuketalima Sapadabolabookonophooey? You wouldn't be any relation to the East Noolian Sapadabolabookonophooeys?"

Fez looked at this amazing girl, a kind of radiant wonder written over his face. "They… they are cousins on my grandfather's side."

"These burned sandwiches of cow's meat are very satisfying," Simboola said consideringly. "Only now I have a craving for some sweetness. Would there be a Malawi tree in the area from which to gather some wild honey?"

"Er… would you like to try some Fruit Tingles instead?" Fez suggested, offering her a roll of lifesavers. As soon as she popped a pink Tingle into her mouth, her eyes lit up in wonder.

"What is this food of the Gods called?" she inquired.

"Candy," Fez replied reverently.

"Fokalokaphuketalima, I shall always be grateful to you for setting my feet on this path known as candy."

"Oh, my lovely African Violet, we have only just begun."

**A.N. So what do you think? I know this chapter veers into some out-there territory but it was fun to write.**

**Also, did anybody pick up on the reference to the jungle of Nool? Little hint – has to do with a recently released kids movie.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**A.N. Hello again – remember this story? Sorry for the long delay but I've had a touch of writer's block. That is, I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't find the words. We've all been there, right? Anywhoo, hope you enjoy this chapter, even if is Jackie-sized.**

"Kelso, quit bogarting the glasses," Eric said, shoving his friend. Kelso ignored Eric, keeping the binoculars trained on Donna's bedroom window.

"Kelso, man, what do you see?" Hyde asked impatiently.

"I see them laughing together… now Jackie is giving Donna the bedroom eyes look… and Donna is rubbing lotion onto Jackie's shoulders… ooh, I think they're about to start a pillow fight!"

"Kelso, what do you see through the binoculars, not in your perverted head!" Hyde elaborated, frogging Kelso's arm.

"Fine! God!" He focused the glasses and began to describe. "OK, Donna is pacing around… her arms are flying about… now she's picking up some kind of doll… looks like it's dressed in khaki."

"That's the GI Joe I gave her when I left for Africa," Eric exclaimed. "I wanted to give her something to remember me by. Is she staring longingly at it, Kelso? Is it reminding her of how much she loves me?"

Kelso's answer was a wince and a sharp hissing of breath. "Wow – I've never seen anyone crush plastic like that with their bare hands."

"What's Jackie doing?" Hyde asked nervously.

"She's taking the doll away from Donna…"

"You see, Hyde? Jackie's trying to calm Donna down," Eric said. "At least you've got nothing to worry about."

"…and now she's beating the remains with her shoe," Kelso finished.

"Nice to see she's taking the rational approach," Hyde deadpanned.

At this point Eric started some nervous pacing of his own. "Oh crap, guys, what am I going to do? I can't just stand by and do nothing while Donna gives up on me!"

Hyde's head snapped up at the words "do nothing". Forman was right – doing nothing was a strategy that made for one huge and ugly snowball.

"Get rid of your wife," Hyde said curtly. "Do it now, do it fast and then beg Donna to forgive you. Even if she won't listen to you, even if she makes you crawl over broken glass, do whatever it takes."

Eric stared at Hyde, taken aback by his intensity. "Wow, Hyde, that's not the kind of advice I expected to get from you. Whatever happened to denying everything and staying zen?"

"Forman, you can either keep your pride and sleep alone, or own up to your mistakes and have freaky hot loving every night. It's your choice."

Kelso sniffed. "Aw, Hyde, that was beautiful."

"Alright, I'm sold," Eric surrendered. "We have to go find Simboola and convince her to divorce me. Her and Fez are probably at the Hub."

"Why the Hub?"

Eric shrugged. "I don't know. If we're not at my house we're usually at the Hub. It's like there's no other buildings that exist in this town."

"True. Except for my record store. We've been using that setting a lot lately."

"Well, whatever we're doing we better do it fast," Kelso said as he peered through the binoculars.

"Why?"

"Donna's pulling out her suitcase," Kelso replied seriously.

Eric gulped. "I'll drive."

_Later, at the Hub…_

"…and the other thing you should know about Americans, they become strangely irritable when you spy on them having sex." Fez said, munching on a French fry.

"Huh!" Simboola retorted. "So it's good and acceptable for them to send their anthropologists and National Geographic photo snappers to record _our_ intimate moments, but when the tables are turned, that's another story!"

"I _know_," Fez nodded in agreement. He sighed mistily, leaning his head on his hand. "Ah, Simboola, you are the mate of my soul."

The queenly giantess flashed a gleaming smile. "I find my fondness for you growing as well, dear Fez. If only…"

"…you weren't married," Fez finished glumly.

"Eric and I became good friends over this past year. How can I break his heart so cruelly?" Simboola sighed gustily. "I have a duty to my husband," she explained sadly. "You have seen how twig-like he is. Without my protection who knows how long he will last."

"But Simboola, Eric already has a female protector. Her name is Donna. She may not be in your weight-range, but she is still pretty sturdy by local standards."

"You refer to the weepy blonde girl who ran away this morning? She did not seem all that strong to me. A Noolian woman would have trampled me with an elephant before giving up on her man."

"Donna may look like a blonde, and in recent times she has even acted like one, but underneath all that bleach beats the heart of a true redhead. You will see," Fez vowed.

Just at that moment they were interrupted by the Hub door slamming open. Eric led the charge as he strode purposefully towards his wife.

"Simboola, we need to have a serious talk about this hollow sham of a marriage," Eric said forcefully. He jumped back when Simboola stood up and loomed over him. "Uh, did you grow taller in the last two hours?"

"Husband, your appealing friend Fez has been telling me of a girl named Donna who has some kind of claim on you."

"Donna, yes, we are deeply in love," Eric agreed. "We've been together for over 5 years now."

"Except for all those times you broke up," Kelso reminded helpfully.

"There were many such times?"

"Well, I don't know what you'd call 'many'," Kelso replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, do you count all the times Donna refused to put out because Eric did something stupid as a break-up? Because then it would take a math wiz to put a number on that baby. But they've only broken up properly twice."

"Kelso, do us a favour and stop helping," Hyde hissed.

"What? It's not like those break-ups were all that serious. We all knew Donna and Eric would end up together in the end. Even when she hooked up with my brother or started doing it with Randy on every flat surface they could find – " Kelso faltered under Eric's glare. "…uh…anyone could see all that hot loving masked a broken heart."

"So," Simboola spoke. "You wish to dissolve our marriage in favour of this blonde whore?"

"Donna isn't…" Eric took a deep breath. "I love her, Simboola. I always have."

His wife regarded him impassively before finally announcing, "I will speak with this Donna before making any decision." With that, she swept out of the Hub, into the parking lot and lowered herself into the back seat of the Vista Cruiser. Hyde gave a low whistle. "Well, Foreman, I hope you weren't too attached to the rear axle of your car. I've got a feeling it's going to need replacing soon."

Eric ignored Hyde but fixed a suspicious eye on his foreign friend. "Fez, you and Simboola seemed pretty cosy when we walked in here. What's the deal with that?"

"Oh Eric, you are indeed fortunate to have snared such a precious jewel as Simboola," Fez answered dreamily. "Not since my beloved Big Rhonda have I met such an impressive woman. Oh, but what am I saying? I should not speak that way about your wife."

"Listen here, Fez, I don't know how things work in whatever place it is you're from, but here in America we have strong views on someone who tries to steal another man's wife away," Eric dictated sternly.

"Oh really?" Fez said nervously.

"Really. Like only the most macho of men can pull something like that off."

"That's right," Hyde agreed, catching on. "You'd have to be a stone cold fox to pull off a move like that. Adulterers are treated like Gods in this country. Just look at our presidents!"

Kelso looked back and forth between Hyde and Eric with a wide smile. "Alright! Just when I think I can't get any more bitching, I find out I'm up there with the presidents!"

Eric continued. "So if you want to steal Simboola's heart away from my less manly, inferior self, well, that's the law of the jungle."

"Speaking of jungles, can we please go and put your wife and your girlfriend in the same room together now?" Kelso pleaded. "Man, I love a good chick fight!"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**A.N. Thanks to everyone for all their support to this story. I've made this chapter a decent length to make up for the wait. I'm looking forward to your reactions!**

"Where are they?" Eric asked for the twentieth time as he paced a circle around the coffee table. The four guys and one silent dark-skinned female had been stewing in the Forman's living room for the past hour, waiting for the girls to show up. Kelso had sent Brooke to the Pinciotti fortress as a go-between to find out exactly how grassed Eric's ass was. She had returned with the news that Donna and Jackie would be joining them shortly, though in what frame of mind they would be she would not say. Although she did cast Eric a pitying look before gathering up her sleepy daughter and removing themselves far from the war zone.

"To hell with this," Hyde growled, pushing himself up from Red's armchair.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm done with waiting around like a pussy! I'm going to get my wife," Hyde tossed over his shoulder as he strode to the front door.

"What if she doesn't want to be gotten?" Fez inquired, but he was speaking to a closed door.

Hyde padded silently through Donna's backyard until he stood under her bedroom window, the portal to his very own Juliet. Briefly he spared a smile as the sight triggered the memory of a hundred midnight meetings with his then girlfriend. He had become quite the expert at climbing the drainpipe up to the girls' window back in the day when Donna and Jackie had been roommates. Of course, Forman would mutter jealously about show-offs, but then what else would you expect of someone who couldn't even climb the rope in gym class? Once Donna had asked with one of her eye-rolls why Hyde didn't just use the stairs like a normal person, seeing as how her Dad was such a heavy sleeper it would take an air raid to wake him up. He had grinned back that it was just too much fun watching Forman burn as he left his zero-upper-body-strength friend fuming in his wake. No need to mention that the sight of him crawling into her bedroom window was also a serious turn-on to his romantically-minded girlfriend.

Keeping this in mind, Hyde spat on his hands and then latched onto the drainpipe, skinning up the tube with practised ease. His head was just poking over the window sill when he heard Jackie's voice.

"Alright, Donna, you know what you have to do. Are you going to be OK with this?"

"Yeah, I think so," Donna replied, releasing a deep breath which betrayed her nervousness. "At least – Jackie, are you sure this is the right thing?"

"I'm positive," Jackie replied firmly. "God, Donna, you'd have to search through a lot of broken hearted girls before you'd find one that understands what you're going through better than me."

"I know you're right, it's just – I'm just afraid of doing something I can't take back. What if this is the wrong decision?" Hyde listened anxiously as he clung to the window ledge, concealed from the girls' view by the half-drawn window curtains. What were they planning to do?

Jackie took Donna's hands comfortingly in her own and sat her friend beside her on the bed. "Donna, how long have we been friends?"

Donna paused in thought. "I'm not sure – by the time I realised we really _were_ friends I was so shocked I couldn't pinpoint how it began."

Jackie treated Donna to her moodiest glare. "That was a rhetorical question, you lumberjack! Anyway, over the years I have repeatedly tried to teach you the ways of this world yet you refused to benefit from my wisdom and continued to wear plaid, go without make-up and wouldn't stop being so damn… tall!" Donna smiled, entering into the spirit of the fake bitchiness Jackie would put on when she wanted to tease her friend.

"Are you going somewhere with this, midget, or is this plane going to circle the airport a few more times before it lands?"

"My point is that if there was ever a time when you could truly learn from me, now is that time." Jackie's voice shifted to a tone of quiet sincerity. "I've been where you are, Donna. I just wish there had been someone there to give me the advice I am giving you now. It would have saved me so much pain."

Donna's eyes filled as she reached over and hugged the small, well-rounded brunette next to her. "I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you, Jackie."

"I know you are, Donna, it's OK," Jackie soothed. "I guess it's hard to be sensitive to someone else's heartache when your boyfriend has just abandoned you to live in a mud hut on the other side of the world."

Donna sniffed, wiped a hand under her nose and stood up with new determination. "Alright, let's get this over with. Where's my suitcase?" Hyde's heart sank as he watched Donna pick up a large suitcase, but that was nothing compared to what he felt when he heard his wife say,

"Do you have an extra one for me?"

"You? Jackie, this is my fight. You don't have to do this for me."

"No, Donna, I want to. Not just for you but for me as well. I wish I had done this the day that skanky stripper walked through the door. But better late than never, right?"

"Oh, fine! You can use my old gym bag. Now let's get over there before I lose my nerve."

Jackie's delicate nose wrinkled as she caught a whiff of the interior of the bag. "Ewww, Donna! This smells like 3 day old sweat socks! Where is your perfume? I need to de-stink this bag if I'm going to allow it to be associated with me."

Donna huffed impatiently. "Over on the dresser! I'll wait downstairs but hurry up! I want to get this over with."

Jackie was just liberally dousing the offending bag with half a bottle of 'White Shoulders' when she heard a noise from the direction of the window. Her breath caught in her throat as her husband tumbled into the bedroom, his biceps crying out in pain from holding his position for so long.

"Steven! What are you doing?"

"Just what I was about to ask you," Hyde panted, as he slowly raised himself up. He advanced on Jackie with such deadly purpose that she instinctively took a step back but that did not stop him. Before she knew it, she was folded into his arms. "Don't do this, Jackie," he whispered fiercely into her ear.

"Do what?" she wondered, so mystified by his intensity that she stood immobile in his embrace.

"Don't leave me," he pleaded in a creaky voice, the words dredged up from the most vulnerable places of his soul. Jackie's eyes widened in shock; she had never seen Steven like this, every defence demolished at the thought of losing her.

"Steven," she began.

"I mean, I know that this African chick showing up like this has got to bring up a heap of bad memories for you but, Jackie, we're past all this now. We're not the same people that we were…"

"Steven – "

"_I'm_ not the same person! This time I'm not going to sit back and let you go without a fight! You hear me, Jackie? You can pack your bags and walk out on me all you want, but it won't do any good because I'm just going to follow you and love you and look after you until you have to forgive me just to get some peace…"

"STEVEN!" Jackie blasted at full volume.

"What?!"

Jackie took his face between her two hands and smiled into his frantic eyes. Then she pressed her lips sweetly against his, took his hand in one of hers, picked up the gym bag with her other hand and tugged him towards the bedroom door. In a daze, Hyde followed meekly behind his wife, down the stairs to meet a surprised-looking Donna. When Jackie said to Donna, "Let's do this thing," he was about to make some new objection or threat or plea but the tender smile Jackie turned his way made the words die on his lips. _Trust me_ she mouthed silently to him. Hyde knew that trusting someone, especially when they seemed to be in the process of betraying him, was not one of his strengths, but he also knew that he owed this to her; she had long past earned it. So he nodded, squeezed her hand and followed her to the Forman's house.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I can't stand this waiting much longer," Eric whined. "Where are they? And what happened to Hyde?"

"I fear that was the last we will see of our good friend Hyde," Fez said mournfully. "Let it be a lesson to other foolhardy men who put themselves in the way of an angry female." He then turned to Simboola, "I mean no offence to you, my dove."

"I find no error in what you say, dear Fez," Simboola replied, breaking her customary silence. "Were I myself to be scorned by the man I loved, only the most brainless of fools would cross me." Eric shivered at his wife's words and wished once more his second grade geography teacher had never informed him of the existence of Africa.

"Oh yeah? Well, that wouldn't scare me," Kelso boasted, thereby proving Simboola's words. "I kind of like messing with chicks when they've just been dumped. It gives me the same sort of feeling I get from playing with fireworks – like everything could go up in a firestorm at any moment."

Fez stared at his friend. "How ever have you managed to live so long?" he asked in honest wonder.

Just then the front door opened to reveal – Red and Kitty.

"What are you dumbasses staring at?" Red said with his usual charm. Just then he caught sight of Simboola. "And what the hell is – " He changed tack when his wife nudged him sternly in the ribs "I mean, who is this young lady?"

"You must be Mister Eric's parents," Simboola said, rising to her feet (her head almost grazing the ceiling light fitting). "I am honoured to finally meet my mother and father-in-laws."

There are some bombs that make a lot of noise when you drop them. Then there are those which suck all the sound around them into a black hole. All was quiet for a good 10 seconds before Red and Kitty yelled in unison, "What the…"

"Mom, Dad – I can explain everything," Eric cried. Then he thought about what he had said. "On second thoughts… no. I can't back that up."

"Eric," Red seethed, "if this is another one of your stupid pranks my foot is going so far up your ass you'll be tasting shoe polish for a week!"

Kitty stared in horror at the Amazon who had laid claim to her son. "Oh Eric, how could you?"

"Mom…"

"You know I wanted to be there to see you get married! You would have looked so sweet in your little suit and tie and I would have taken some lovely wedding photos to console myself with when your harlot of a wife stole you away from me. But now you have robbed me of witnessing my one chance of seeing a child of mine joined in holy wedlock."

"Kitty – we have two children, remember?"

Kitty shared a look with Red before turning back to her son; "My _one_ chance, Eric!"

"Mom, this is all a mistake," Eric burst through his mother's tirade. "I never meant to get married! It was just a big misunderstanding." Kitty and Red looked at Eric in disbelief.

"Are you seriously asking us to believe that you got married to this enormous… ly delightful girl by _accident_?" Red thundered. Eric shrank under his father's piercing eye.

"Yes."

"Oh." Red Forman turned to his wife. "Actually, that does sound like the kind of thing Eric would do." Kitty nodded in agreement.

"Look, I know it was stupid and hurtful and the kind of goof-up only I could manage," Eric cried, his voice rising with emotion. "And I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Simboola and I'm sorry, Mom and Dad but I'm not such an idiot that I'm going to go on with this charade." Eric turned to face his wife. "Simboola, we have to get a divorce. I don't care that you can tear me apart like a chicken wing, I can't stay married to you when my heart always has and always will belong to Donna."

Kitty gave a thrilled little clap at her son's pronouncement. "Oh yes, Donna! You know, I always did like that girl!"

Red gave his wife a funny look. "Didn't you once say she had been passed around like a baseball bat?"

Kitty gave one of her more forced nervous laughs, "Oh Red, you are such a kidder."

"And that time when we thought she might be pregnant you called her a - "

"Do you want to ever taste a pork chop again, Red Forman? Because I can arrange things so they're just a distant memory!" Red wisely stopped talking.

"You have already told me that you wish for me to leave, husband" Simboola replied to Eric. "Yet I will not know which is the right path to take until I have confronted your Donna. Only when I have tested her mettle will I know that she is strong enough to be my successor."

Eying his forceful wife, Eric feared for Donna's safety. "Why? This is between you and me! Donna has nothing to do with this!"

Donna balked on the doorstep as she caught Eric's words, disowning her place in his life. For a moment she considered turning around and fleeing, but a small but firm hand in the small of her back pushed her forward. Somehow her pint-sized friend gave her the courage to push the door open and call out to her boyfriend "Eric!"

All eyes turned to the trio entering the living room. Eric felt his heart stop when he caught sight of his childhood sweetheart. He wasn't sure what kind of confrontation Simboola had in mind but he could not run the risk of Donna getting hurt. "Stay out of this, Donna," he warned urgently.

"I was tempted to," Donna admitted, staring coldly at her boyfriend. "That was kind of the idea when I walked out of here before. You've done a lot of shitty things to me over the years, Eric, but this time…"

"I know, OK?" Eric exploded. "I'm a jackass and you can do a whole lot better than me."

"You're right, I could," Donna agreed.

"So what are you doing here? You should just go. Get out now!" In his nervous fear for Donna, Eric's words came out harsher than he realised.

"If that's what you want then I will," Donna said, gripping the handle of her suitcase tightly. "But I have to know one thing before I go. These other men who are better than you – will any of them love me more than you do?"

The room was silent as Donna held Eric's gaze, demanding an honest answer from him. _Hurry up, man_, Fez thought frantically, chewing on his lip. _I'm on the edge of my frickin' seat here!_

"No," Eric said truthfully.

Donna released a long breath. "Then I'm not leaving." She turned to the intimidating African woman with narrowed eyes. "She is!" She threw the suitcase at Simboola's feet and from the hollow sound it made as it landed, it was clear that it was empty. "Pack your bags, you boyfriend-stealing skank! This is _my _man and no opportunistic outsider is going to trick him into marriage and take him away from me!"

Simboola slowly looked down to the suitcase at her feet and then back up at Donna, her expression betraying nothing. "Do you not know with whom you are dealing, oh bleached one?"

"No, you don't know who you're dealing with," Jackie snarled as she threw her own (or rather Donna's) empty gym bag towards the giantess. "You think a pissed-off lumberjack is bad? Oh honey, you haven't met trouble until you've gone head to head with a pregnant woman dealing with a whole lot of hormones and repressed rage." Jackie looked so fierce as she said this that Hyde started to worry she might just hurl herself at Simboola, 9 months pregnancy be damned.

Simboola measured the small brunette with raised brows and a slightly amused smile. "You are indeed ferocious, small breeder. Why are you so angry for your friend that you would make her battle your own?"

"Because she knows what it's like," Hyde spoke up for Jackie. "She knows the kind of pain you are going to unleash on her friend if you don't back off now." Hyde rubbed Jackie's arm as she stared at the walking reminder of her worst nightmare. Then he saw something in the new girl's eyes that made him realise that she was cut from a different cloth than Sam. It prompted him to say, " Do you care about Eric, Simboola? Because if you won't give Eric up for fear of Donna and Jackie hurting you, then do it so you don't become the kind of person who hurts others."

"Hyde's right," Eric agreed. "Sim, I know you are a good person but if you don't let me go – now – then you're going to become the woman who will be responsible for ruining my life."

"_What_ did he just call her," Jackie growled in disbelief. Hyde grabbed onto her forearm before she could launch herself.

"Eric Husband," Simboola said gravely, "Your words have moved me. I see now the path it is my destiny to take." Eric breathed a sigh of relief until she said, "I require my chicken."

Eric paled as he thought back to their 'wedding'. "What? But I thought – damn it, there is no way I'm having a chicken bleed over me again!"

Ignoring his bluster, she scooped up the barnyard fowl in question from where it was pecking cheese puff dust off Fez's shoes. When Eric turned to make a break for it, she scooped him up as well and carried both wriggling creatures into the kitchen, one under each arm. The rest of the gang looked at each other in astonishment before charging into the kitchen to Eric's rescue.

_20 minutes later…_

"Simboola, my African Queen, this omelette you have made is nectar of the Gods," Fez extolled, forking another portion into his mouth.

"Thank you, my cocoa skinned comrade," she replied as she stroked the feathers of the chicken brooding on her lap. "The secret is to use fresh eggs."

"So what the hell was the deal with the suitcases?" Hyde asked Jackie as, having finished her own midnight snack, she proceeded to steal the remains of his. "Did you really need to scare 10 years out of me just to make a point?"

"It's called a dramatic flourish, Steven," Jackie said, spearing the last piece of grilled tomato off his plate. "And yes. Yes I did." With a satisfied smirk, she wrapped a hand around the back of his head and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

"So," Eric said around a mouthful of cooked egg, "Are we now officially null and void?"

"That is right, Mister Eric. I am a free woman once again." she replied with a coquettish glance at Fez. Hopes rising fast, Fez gave her his 'stallion' face.

"That means I'm a bachelor! Woo hoo!" Eric crowed.

"Not for long," Donna said meaningfully, kicking him lightly underneath the table.

"Really? You mean it?" Eric said incredulously. He had always assumed that if Donna ever found about his marriage, he would lose her completely. He could hardly believe his good fortune when she nodded, laughing at his Kelso-like wide mouthed grin. It was not long before they were entwined in each other's arms, causing all their friends to start booing them.

"Hey! No making out in the circle!" Kelso shouted.

"We're not in the circle," Hyde said.

"A food circle is just as sacred as the other kind, Hyde," Fez reproached.

"What exactly other kind of circle are you dumbasses talking about," Red interrupted his son's friends, silencing their high spirits as they scrambled for an answer which would not end in a foot in anyone's ass.

Hyde always told his son later in life that he was born with excellent timing because it was into this awkward silence that Jackie cried out in pain.

"Jackie, what's wrong?" Hyde was at her side in an instant.

Jackie looked down at the puddle of wonderfulness that had suddenly appeared on the kitchen floor and then back up at her husband.

"It's time," she said, a little amazed and a lot panicked. "Ow! Ow! Steven, we have to get to the hospital now!"

"It's OK, baby, remember what they taught us in that Lamaze class? Just breathe, Jackie," Hyde said, trying to calm her as Donna ran to their bedroom to pick up Jackie's hospital bag.

"Breathe? Breathe? Damn it, Steven Hyde, if you don't get me to a place where they hand out pain numbing drugs right now I'll tell Red exactly what kind of circle we were talking about! In detail!"

"Alright, move it along, people, pregnant lady coming through!" Hyde directed, scooping Jackie up into his arms. "I said MOVE IT!"

**A.N. Don't you just love Hyde? Only one more chapter to go!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**A.N. We come at last to the final chapter. I had great fun writing this story and am kind of sad to see it end, but I think all the zennies will find this epilogue satisfying. My heartfelt thanks to my most faithful reviewers and encouragers, AdriGoddess, Hyde's Bride, BloodyLyra, SometimestheycallmeJackie and Sooki28.**

**Enjoy!**

_Point Place, September 1991_

"Mommy!" The piercing wail of a thwarted child rang through the Hyde household. Jackie set down her guitar with a sigh; she could feel her song was finally coming together. However, it would have to wait until the latest melodrama of her youngest child had been attended to.

"Isabella, this better be import – " Jackie forgot what she was saying when she took in the sight of her six year old daughter teetering in her mother's ivory high heels, swathed from head to toe in Jackie's best lace tablecloth. "Isabella Katherine Hyde, what on earth are you doing?"

"I am _trying _to get married," the little girl said as one stating the obvious, "but Ren won't marry me!" She turned an indignant pout towards her big brother who was sitting on the couch reading an X-Men comic. He did not bother looking up at his sister's accusation; much like his father, he preferred to conserve his energy for occasions he judged worthy of his attention. "Make him marry me, Mommy!"

Jackie choked back her laughter. "Baby, you can't marry Ren."

"Why not?" Isabella demanded with a stamp of her little foot.

"One, because he's your brother, two because you're too young and three, because you can't force someone to marry you."

"Now those are words I never thought I'd hear you say," Hyde said as he walked into the living room. Jackie stuck out her tongue at him.

"You're one to talk! I may have attempted a little gentle nudging down the aisle in my time, but I think the award for marriage by coercion has to go to you."

"What's co-wer-shun?"

Hyde picked up his wide-eyed daughter right out of her shoes, bouncing her until her pout became a smile. "That's something daddys do to mommys when the mommy is too stubborn to listen to reason."

Jackie turned to her ten year old son. "Ren, I order you to ignore every piece of advice your father ever gives you about how to romance a woman."

Her son glanced upwards, a familiar smirk on his lips. "I don't know – seems to have worked on you, Mom."

"But Daddy," Isabella pleaded, reclaiming her parents' attention "I want to be a bride and wear a pretty white dress and walk on flower petals! Mommy, you understand! You used to be a bride, didn't you?"

"Uh, yes, I suppose I was," Jackie replied, wary of where this conversation was going.

"Did you wear a white dress and a veil when you got married, Mommy? Did you have lots of bridesmaids and presents and did Daddy wear a tie?"

"The occasion was definitely… unforgettable," Jackie fielded.

"Yes," Hyde agreed. "My head is still spinning from what happened after the judge said 'kiss the bride'."

Isabella wriggled out of her father's arms and ran towards the bottom shelf of the bookcase, tugging out the family photo album.

"Show me, Mommy," Isabella plopped the heavy book onto her mother's lap and then climbed back into her father's arms, raising her crystal blue eyes expectantly towards her parents. Hyde's eyes danced with amusement at Jackie's predicament, his smirk challenging her to talk her way out of this one. Jackie raised her chin, meeting the challenge, and turned to a photo which had been taken 6 months after Ren's birth.

"Here we are, Bella," Jackie said, pointing at a photo of herself in a trailing white wedding gown standing next to Steven Hyde at his most smug.

"Oh, Mommy, you look so pretty," squealed the dark-haired poppet. "And Daddy looks so funny wearing a tie."

"Really? Let me see," Ren said, scenting an opportunity to burn his Dad. He sat between Jackie and Hyde as Jackie slowly turned the pages, remembering that day, September 30, 1981. It was Hyde's idea to hold it on the first anniversary of their original marriage. He claimed it was so he wouldn't have to deal with the aggravation of celebrating two wedding anniversaries, but Jackie knew it was really because he wanted to blot out that unpleasantness at the marriage registry by giving Jackie the special day she had always dreamed about.

"You see, there's Aunt Donna and Aunt Brooke as my bridesmaids, and little Betsy just managed to toddle down the aisle as my flowergirl."

Ren gave a shout of laughter. "Wow! I've never seen Aunt Donna wearing anything so… pink. Or frilly."

"Yes, it was the one chance in my life where I could finally make her wear something feminine," Jackie explained, smiling with satisfaction at a picture of Donna wearing a creation Zsa Zsa Gabor would have felt right at home in; Donna, however, looked distinctly uncomfortable. Hyde secretly thought Jackie's insistence on the dress had been the final payback for Donna's lapse of loyalty in the year that is best forgotten, and Donna had accepted it as her penance. _I guess I'm lucky she didn't make me wear a bridesmaid dress of plaid flannel at her wedding_, Jackie thought as she turned the page to a picture of a newly-wed Eric and Donna trying to escape a shower of rice that Kelso and Fez were pitching at them with their usual energy.

Isabella began flipping pages backwards. "Mommy, these photos are out order! The photos of Ren should come after the wedding, not before it."

Jackie shared a meaningful look with her husband. "You're right, Bella. Silly me. I'll have to fix that."

"Wait a second – I was born before your wedding?" Ren deduced. "So I'm a bas – " he caught his mother's eye, "I mean, illegitimate? That is so cool!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, kid, but you were born into the system," his father said, dashing his son's rebel hopes. His eyes lingered on a photo of the newborn Ren, taken minutes after his birth.

_The nurse gently placed the small bundle into Jackie's arms as Hyde watched in awe. Hard to believe that they had created something this perfect and extraordinary. As the tiny boy curled his fingers around Hyde's thumb with a surprisingly strong grip, Hyde knew in that instant that everything he thought he knew had changed. "So," he said, his throat suddenly dry, "what's this little guy's name?" They had been brainstorming baby names for the past month but had been unable to agree on anything. Kitty had assured them that once the baby was born, they would look at him and know his name and now Jackie knew she was right. There was only one name possible for this miraculous child._

_"Ren," Jackie said as she tenderly caressed his velvety soft cheek. "Ren Steven Hyde"._

_"Ren," Hyde repeated thoughtfully. "It does have a ring to it. Not a bad name for a rock star. Where did you come up with that?"_

_"It means renewal, rebirth – a second chance." Hyde met Jackie's eyes and was awed by the pure love he saw in them. The love that at one time he never thought he would see again. Silently, he breathed a short prayer of thanks for this one last second chance; he was determined to spend the rest of his life deserving it._

Hyde was pulled from his memories by Ren's shout of laughter. "Oh man! Who is this crazy couple?" Jackie smiled at the photo of a smiling dark-skinned man in a grass skirt with his arm around his bride's waist – or as far as his arm could reach around her waist.

"That's your Uncle Fez and his wife, Simboola," Jackie explained. "This photo was taken at their wedding in Africa. We tried to talk them into staying here in Point Place, but they both felt it was their mission to go back to her people and share the best America has to offer."

"How do they do that, Mommy?" Isabella asked.

"They import and sell candy. Fez says it's made them the most important people in the village."

"Is he the one you send those Playboy magazines to, Dad?"

"Steven!"

"C'mon, Jackie," Hyde coaxed. "You know Fez would never survive an African jungle without some release for his pervy weirdness."

"Look, Mommy! Here you are on stage with Donny and Marie," Isabella cried, pointing to another photo with excitement.

"Ah, don't remind me," Hyde groaned. "There was no living with her for weeks after that."

Jackie gave her husband a playful shove. "Hey! I've had more than one person say that I was the best act on that variety hour."

"I agree with both of them. Of course, if Izzy was singing up against the Osmonds, I'd vote her as the best act, just from lack of competition." Hyde shook his head sadly. "I've always thought that if you hadn't been carrying her when you did that gig, she might not have inherited your taste in music."

Isabella made an indignant noise. "Mommy has good taste in music! When I grow up I'm going to make records and sing to children just like Mommy."

"You tell him, kid," Jackie cheered.

Hyde folded under his daughter's moody pout. "Alright! I take it back! You and your Mom are both perfect." At once the sun came out on his daughter's face, which aside from her blue eyes, was a miniature copy of her mother's. A fact which made it impossible for Hyde to resist her.

"If you want to follow in my footsteps, Bella, you need to be especially sweet to Grandpa Will," Jackie advised. "It was his contacts that launched my career. If it weren't for him I'd probably still be singing for the kids at Point Place library."

"But Mom, you still do sing for the kids at the Point Place library," Ren reminded her. "You were there just last week."

"Yes, well, they said the children were begging for me to play to them again – what was I supposed to do?" Although Jackie's albums of children's music were among the best selling in that category, making her a highly desirable guest performer on children's shows, charity benefits and variety programs, there was still nothing she liked better than to play her music to a cluster of wide-eyed tots. And even though it was W.B. who had provided an opening to the world of recording artists, it was really Hyde's encouragement and confidence in her talent that had been the secret of her success.

Another page was turned to a photo of the family on the day Hyde opened his third Grooves record store. Three was the magic number that turned Hyde from the owner of a small record store to the manager of a franchise. At first he was nervous that becoming the overseer of his small kingdom would turn him into "the Man", but Jackie was quick to point out that there weren't many employee plans in the corporate world as flexible as Hyde's, not when it came to certain fumes seeping out from under the Grooves' office door. Besides, it took less time to keep tabs on his three capable managers than it did to babysit a store all day, time that he put to good use by giving his kids the kind of attention that had been so conspicuously absent from his own childhood home. Not to mention the extra time he had with Jackie. Whenever anyone asked him how he spent his time since switching to shorter working hours, he would sigh and shake his head and complain how keeping Jackie satisfied was a 24 hour job and he prayed each day for the strength to meet her insatiable demands. At which point Jackie would kick him in the shins (but never too hard) and mutter some empty threat about no more cookie-making privileges.

More pages in the photo album were turned, more memories were recalled; the day they had moved to the sprawling ranch-style house they now lived in; a photo of Ren on his eighth birthday, grinning with uncontainable delight as he sat behind his new drum kit (it was two days later that Jackie insisted they sound proof the back room); a photo of Eric in front of the Point Place Grammar School, looking especially twitchy as he faced his first day of teaching; newspaper clippings of some of Donna's early stories which she wrote as a journalist for the Kenosha Times; a play bill for The Importance of Being Earnest displaying Bernard as a high-bred English toff, a role he was made for. He and Brooke were still going strong, with four more kids to keep Betsy company (it seemed Bernie was fated to be surrounded by small children) and Brooke and Jackie were still fast friends, in spite of the miles between them.

However, when Jackie turned the page to a picture of Michael Kelso wearing a face-splitting grin, surrounded by scantily clad women from the Busty Broads Joint (the strip club where he worked security), she quickly snapped the book closed before her children could ask questions about that particular photo.

"Oh my, will you look at the time! You two should have been in bed an hour ago. And on a school night, too!"

"Really?" Ren replied with wide-eyed innocence, a look mirrored by his little sister and partner-in-crime. "I must have lost track of time – your stories were so interesting, Mom."

Jackie fixed her son with the same suspicious look that his father so often provoked. "We'll see how far that story gets you when your teacher calls on you tomorrow and finds you asleep at your desk."

Ren gave the trademark Hyde smirk which had gone a long way to establishing him as the coolest kid in the fifth grade. "I don't think Uncle Eric will be too hard on me, not with all the dirt on him Dad has given me."

Jackie gave Hyde _the_ look. "What?" he said defensively. "With all the classic burns Eric has taken, it would be a crime not to share them with someone who has the burn calling."

Jackie turned to her son. "Ren, I forbid you to blackmail your uncle! Blackmail may have been something of a Hyde family tradition in the past, but I don't want your generation carrying it on."

"Fine," Ren capitulated, rolling his eyes. "I'll just say I was up late perfecting my Jedi training. He always falls for that."

"That's better," Jackie said, approving of her son's lie. "Now, off to bed right now, you two, or I'll tell Grandpa Red you've been naughty. And you know what he does to naughty children!"

Ren and Isabella recited together, "He'll put his foot in our – "

"Bed! Now!"

As their progeny scampered off, bickering and giggling by turns, Jackie gave a weary sigh. At once Hyde was on the alert, taking in her exhausted posture as her body sunk into the nook between his arm and body.

"Are you OK?" he asked with concern. Jackie still had a tendency to push herself beyond her body's limits, and she had seemed more tired than usual lately. "Baby, I really want you to see a doctor tomorrow."

"Actually," Jackie replied, "I saw Dr Collins today."

"You did?" Jackie nodded, her face revealing nothing. "Well, what did he say?" Hyde asked impatiently. When Jackie looked away from his eyes, he felt his heart skip a beat. Surely it was nothing serious? If anything happened to Jackie…

She pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Hyde, her face expressionless. "Here, I think you should read this."

"Jackie, what – "

"Just read it, baby. It will explain everything."

Hyde opened the note.

_To Mr Steven J. Hyde_

_This letter is to inform you that at some point during the recent long, hot summer, you did impregnate one Jackie Hyde. Probably on one of those nights when the kids were in bed and the swimming pool was looking so good and you were saying none of the neighbours could see us anyway._

_I understand that my manner of informing you about my first pregnancy was not exactly cordial. And as we have had so many "do-overs" in our crazy history together, I thought one more wouldn't hurt._

_So I wish to state for the record that you are the only man that I would ever want to have rugrats with and you are most definitely on the hook in all matters baby-related, even if you do turn into a nag just because I work a little too hard sometimes._

_So that's it, Puddin' Pop. We're going to be parents for the third time. At last Bella will have someone to practice her inborn bossiness on. And maybe Ren will get that little brother he always wanted – if he does, I know he'll look out for him the same way you used to watch over me and our friends when we were teenagers; disinterested on the surface but always there when we needed someone. When I needed someone._

_I think Spiral Staircase best summed up the way I feel about you, Steven:-_

_I love you more today than yesterday_

_But not as much as tomorrow_

_Hey, at least it wasn't Abba!_

_Yours sincerely_

_Mrs Jaclyn B. Hyde_

Hyde slowly raised his eyes up from Jackie's letter to find her watching him, tear-filled eyes incongruous with her beaming smile. As she waited for his response, he vainly searched for words to describe what he was feeling, but could find none. Just at the point when her smile was beginning to waiver in the face of his blank amazement, he suddenly grabbed her and kissed her so deeply and potently that the kisses they shared from their first summer together were pale copies in comparison.

"A baby, Jackie? Are you sure?"

"So says 3 home pregnancy tests. Not to mention Dr Collins. Are you happy, Steven?"

"Happy? Jackie, of course I'm happy! I just never thought – I mean, it's been so long since Izzy, I figured it wasn't in the cards. But this – this is like one of the best surprises ever." With a squeal of happiness, Jackie climbed onto Hyde's lap and hugged her husband tightly. This position gave him the perfect opportunity to heft her upwards. As he began walking towards the bedroom, he said with fake strictness, "Now, Jackie, about this note."

"What about it, Puddin' Pop?" Jackie said as she peppered his neck with light kisses.

"You knew I'd have a coronary when you handed me a note about going to the doctor with a face as long as Fez's name."

"But I was just trying to make up for the other time, Steven," Jackie said with sweet innocence. "It's not like I was trying to… I don't know… burn you or anything."

Hyde gave her a piercing look. "Whatever! But I warn you, Jackie, any more of your 'dramatic flourishes' and I'll…"

"You'll what?" Jackie smirked, one eyebrow raised.

Hyde met the challenge in her eye and quickened his pace. "Sounds like a certain cheerleader is begging for a preview. Remember what you told me about cheerleaders, back at the Christmas dance?"

Jackie frowned as she tried to remember what she had said; _These are bad girls, they need to be punished, and they know it_.

"Steven, you can't be serious! Come on, it was just a joke! Steven! STEVEN!"

The End

**And there we have it – the end at last. I hope you all enjoyed the ride and please leave your reviews at the door.**


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